Howard Mittelmark
@HMittelmark
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
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I can explain
NYC
Joined July 2010
There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted.
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Hey, @DellCares. I was just told the loose port in my laptop isn't covered by Dell Premium Support because there is a possibility that it was caused by accidental damage. Is that your official policy? If the possibility exists that it isn't covered, it isn't covered?
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I’m more than just an unknown indie writer. But not much more.
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I like to keep my resolutions realistic, so I’m just going to refrain from any jury tampering this year and call it good.
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Me, being rounded up along with everyone else my age by a triumphant DSA: Wait! No! You don't understand! I followed menaker and cushbomb before they even started the podcast! NO! STOP! WE WERE MUTUALS!
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He set about doing the dishes with a sort of wild abandon he had never known in his youth, had never imagined possible. One, two! One, two! Plates and glasses, forks and knives, all fell before him. One, two! One, two! "Snicker-snack!" he shouted, startling the cat.
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More and more these days, I think about this line from “Bull Durham”: “The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.”
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https://t.co/9mN6jWc8Ps (Malzberg, our S. Beckett of pulp-fiction/classy sci-fi, who refined the art of curmudgeonly stand-up comedy disguised as the bleakest pessimism in American lit. since the elder dyspeptic M. Twain.)
thenation.com
A speed demon at the typewriter, Malzberg wrote quickly and brilliantly in a variety of genres including mystery, thrillers, and erotica, but his core work was in science fiction.
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(getting dragged away dripping wet by police) “It’s not the same stream! The stream is always changing! The stream the sign refers to no longer exists, you fools!”
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Sandra Newman’s JULIA just won @TheKitschies! Here’s our editor @JasonArthur01 with the iconic red tentacle 🐙
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Refreshing change from all the Hot women Video available DMs.
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Someday I'm gonna have some real money and eat nothing but cashew halves.
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I just can't see buying cashew halves and pieces when it's not that much effort to buy whole cashews and break them up myself.
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If I can't get a table at some trendy restaurant, I imperiously say, "Do you know who my father is?" and when they say no, I start crying and say I don't think I'll ever find out, then I start talking about growing up without a father, and by then they usually find me a table.
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