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Howard Mittelmark Profile
Howard Mittelmark

@HMittelmark

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Following
261K
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2K
Statuses
69K

I can explain

NYC
Joined July 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
11 years
There is nothing like the sound of a child's laughter to remind you that your apartment is haunted.
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
13 days
Hey, @DellCares. I was just told the loose port in my laptop isn't covered by Dell Premium Support because there is a possibility that it was caused by accidental damage. Is that your official policy? If the possibility exists that it isn't covered, it isn't covered?
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@MKupperman
Mike Cobraman
14 days
@prem_thakker
Prem Thakker
14 days
New: CBS seems to be preparing a new segment called "Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil" per sources. Some staff were only first made aware of it as they encountered CBS testing set designs of a faux-stocked bar in the newsroom, featuring a large sponsor banner for Jack Daniels.
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@jthouse37
Justin Bryant
16 days
I’m more than just an unknown indie writer. But not much more.
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@DamonHunzeker
Damon Hunzeker
25 days
I like to keep my resolutions realistic, so I’m just going to refrain from any jury tampering this year and call it good.
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@Bill_Gerrard
William Gerrard
1 month
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
3 months
Me, being rounded up along with everyone else my age by a triumphant DSA: Wait! No! You don't understand! I followed menaker and cushbomb before they even started the podcast! NO! STOP! WE WERE MUTUALS!
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
4 months
He set about doing the dishes with a sort of wild abandon he had never known in his youth, had never imagined possible. One, two! One, two! Plates and glasses, forks and knives, all fell before him. One, two! One, two! "Snicker-snack!" he shouted, startling the cat.
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@lurie_john
John Lurie
9 months
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@anAhmedSalah
Ahmed Salah
10 months
@techhsiren
techsiren ♥︎
11 months
is there a specific post that you still think about
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@2000_mondo
MONDO 2000
1 year
Seen on fbook this morning posted by @Richard_Kadrey
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@BrianStack153
Brian Stack
1 year
More and more these days, I think about this line from “Bull Durham”: “The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness.”
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@JoyceCarolOates
Joyce Carol Oates
1 year
https://t.co/9mN6jWc8Ps (Malzberg, our S. Beckett of pulp-fiction/classy sci-fi, who refined the art of curmudgeonly stand-up comedy disguised as the bleakest pessimism in American lit. since the elder dyspeptic M. Twain.)
Tweet card summary image
thenation.com
A speed demon at the typewriter, Malzberg wrote quickly and brilliantly in a variety of genres including mystery, thrillers, and erotica, but his core work was in science fiction.
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@Bill_Gerrard
William Gerrard
1 year
(getting dragged away dripping wet by police) “It’s not the same stream! The stream is always changing! The stream the sign refers to no longer exists, you fools!”
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@GrantaBooks
Granta Books
1 year
Sandra Newman’s JULIA just won @TheKitschies! Here’s our editor @JasonArthur01 with the iconic red tentacle 🐙
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
1 year
Stairs, nature's Stairmaster.
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
1 year
I accepted, btw. I'm an Illuminati now.
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
1 year
Refreshing change from all the Hot women Video available DMs.
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
6 years
Someday I'm gonna have some real money and eat nothing but cashew halves.
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
5 years
I just can't see buying cashew halves and pieces when it's not that much effort to buy whole cashews and break them up myself.
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@HMittelmark
Howard Mittelmark
4 years
If I can't get a table at some trendy restaurant, I imperiously say, "Do you know who my father is?" and when they say no, I start crying and say I don't think I'll ever find out, then I start talking about growing up without a father, and by then they usually find me a table.
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