Sorry babe we can’t afford to amazon dronedash any chipotle peptides tonight, Burkina Faso is still intact so the Polymarket wager went to zero

Stadium pulse is currently at 100.

BJORK: I’m going hunting ME: Ok BJORK: I’m the hunter. ME: Understood

getting shot here >>>

Both coasts of the United States of America through different years.

cucumbers after visiting the vinegar factory:

https://t.co/1LRLHfcXgG

parking on a curb and putting my blinkers on then meticulously painting over the handicap parking icon so it looks like scooby doo . getting back in my car, putting a scooby doo mask on, parking in the spot directly next to it then innocently whistling as I walk into Cold Stone

Joe Rogan: what’s really disturbing is that 7 out of 8 Somali people, y’know, actually put dog food in their stew Peppa Pig: I like to dance and play with my friends Joe Rogan: yeah, ‘yum dog stew’ they call it

https://t.co/c6c5pSzGgR

My future wife is hopefully also at a bowling alley tonight

It doesn't surprise me the Charlie Kirk shooter played Wordle an hour before opening fire. People who still play Wordle in 2025 are desperate for meaning and structure in their lives, desperate to wake up and feel called to something. This is the same thing assassins search for.

"Did you see that text I sent you? Yeah the listing for the ex meth lab in Western Nebraska for 66k. I think that's a perfect home for you to raise my grandkids in"

does anyone know what chord those electric cars play when they're cruising slowly

https://t.co/YkAviJBm3k

Depression isn’t real. Just need to go stand in a creek

I miss when turnstile had the wigger guy who looked like this guy