Duchess
@Duchess_Sharon
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Lover of Spurs, Las Vegas, Rum, roundabouts & swearing. Pilkunnussija. #cantsmilewithoutyou
Milton Keynes
Joined January 2011
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Name a comedian you don’t find funny…
I’ll start
Nish Kumar
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I turn my nose up at the loud music and people staying behind after the game at the stadium for ages…. Although I kind of get it now. It’s been a tough year for Henry, but seeing him so happy yesterday made me realise the kids love the theatrics of it all!
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Just got asked out by an Arsenal Fan... told him I am only free on Thursdays
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Charlie Kane taps himself twice on the bum when he walks into Asda
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On Tuesday our Henry is going to be the official match ball carrier
@wembleystadium
for England v Germany.
He is beyond excited! He is desperate to meet
@HKane
and get his shirt after the game! 😊
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I would like to thank whoever grassed me up to Spurs for subletting my season ticket last year. Having it taken away from me has saved me money and has saved me lots of grief and has taken away the desision I would ultimately have made to give it up.
#thankyougrass
🙏🏼
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I don’t care if you feel sorry for him because he’s not the full ticket... this is NOT acceptable. I have reported him to Twitter and have sent an email to the club.
#embarrassing
#gethimbanned
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Oh bollocks! I forgot to film myself for 90 mins at Dortmund on Tuesday night, how will all my follows know I am a fan now? 🙄
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8 years ago, June 2010, I started as a temp at work. I have left and gone back twice. My current fixed term contact is due to end next Friday.
Today I got the good news that I am to be a permanent member of staff on headcount.
8 fucking years!!!!!!
Congratulations to me...
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All good with my obs this morning. I should be allowed home at lunchtime. Thank you for all the lovely messages and well wishes!
#hysterectomy
#hospital
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A load of cunts singing Ozil songs at the train station.... I shouted ‘YID ARMY’
A man called me fat.
I told him I would rather be fat than a cunt. He tried to get his Mrs to fight me! She told him to shut up!
All the megaloz 🙄
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Why do folk who haven’t seen GOT think they are special? Why do they have to tell everyone? They are like vegans.... you don’t have to tell everyone all the time. 🙄
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This one may be a bit better…. My Dad was a market trader for years. He sold Pet food. Bernie Winters used to buy tripe off of him for Schnorbitz…. I think this was taken at Holloway or Finchley market in the 80’s.
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I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT SOME TWO BOB CUNTS ON A FUCKING ISLAND. WIND YOUR NECKS IN
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Put the ball on the plinth, meet Baddiel and Skinner and get Sterling’s top. What a day!
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This had made my day!!!
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I am rarely doom and gloom... although the stats speak for themselves. There is something missing. We are a ‘could have’, ‘almost’, ‘nearly’, ‘next year is our year’ club.
We just aren’t good enough. Doesn’t stop my love for Spurs. I am just realistic.
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Thank you so much to
@sterling7
for giving today’s official match ball carrier Henry his shirt after the game 🙏🏼
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Today is the day I get to meet all the girls who need a mentor at local school.
I love this part. 14/15 year old girls totally unsure of what being mentored entails. I always get put with the quiet ones! I love seeing their confidence grow throughout the year 😊
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Brought the boys to a park with a football pitch.
2 girls, 6 boys, white, mixed race, Indian. None of them give a shit that they don’t know each other or what sex / colour they are as long as they can kick a ball and get a game.
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In other news: I have now lost 21lbs of my 35lbs target.
🥊💪🏼
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First morning waking up in new house. I miss my blackout blinds. Awake since 5. Nice view though!
#lovemk
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Just had a yoof in a car indicate left, then go right. He had to brake to avoid me. He then followed me into car park. He got out trying to be all hard. I was picking George up... he shit himself and was shaking when George had a word with him. Good. Little prick.
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Football is for life.... not just the World Cup.
This tweet is aimed at all the football haters suddenly realising what they are missing.
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I am going to use today as an opportunity to unfollow loads of people. Snowflakes, moaners and general nuisances.
#COYS
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Fucking skinny jean wearing, hipster topknot beard cunts in the barbers. They look fucking stupid and it makes the wait twice as long whilst they have a beard trim and skin fade 😡😡😡😡
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Why is everyone getting their knickers in a twist over Aguero touching a lino’s shoulder? Seriously get a fucking grip on reality and put your snowflake heads away. Isn’t their enough crap going on in the world without being offended over fuck all?
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At karaoke. Just got up and sang (smashed it, obvs). Shouted ‘Yid Army’ at the end. Karaoke bloke is Chelsea... banned from singing again 🤣🤣
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The correct answer is Crumpet.
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Let’s see how many of the ‘I am against franchised football’ brigade moan about playing at MK Dons, yet still buy a ticket and go.
As an MK Dons & Spurs fan, I am more than happy 👍🏼
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So many of you up early on a sunny Saturday morning. First game of the season, beers on the go. Have a fab day... spare a thought for me. I am just on my way to hospital to have a hysterectomy 👍🏼🤣😊
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I scroll through my timeline and can see how much I have (finally) grown up. Conversations & rows I would have got stuck into previously I now just roll my eyes & scroll on! At the age of 46, I would like to announce that I am an adult!
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I don't give a flying fuck that Kyle Walker has gone. We don't need players who no longer want to be part of our future.
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Me: ‘Alexa, is Harry Kane one of our own?’
Alexa: ‘He’s one of our own, he’s one of our own. Harry Kane, he’s one of our own’
Me ‘Thank you Alexa’
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Why the fuck do people with twisted toes and hobbit feet think we want to see their ‘sexy new sandals’ pictures on social media???
By all means show us the ‘sexy new sandals’, but FFS, leave your rancid fucking hooves out of it 😡😡😡😡
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7 years ago.... NLD when we beat that lot! The day I walked into a Gooner pub in Islington and shouted ‘Yid Army’ after the game. The day I ran faster than Usain Bolt.
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It’s rather nice going for a night out and coming home sober! Cheap night out, drove myself there and back… no hangover!
It’s 41 days since I last had an alcoholic beverage. Not missing it at all 👍🏼👍🏼
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OK Steph, I am a pathetic moron. Where would you like me to fuck of to? Barcelona? Eindhoven?
I’ve got scum fans in my mentions. Do fuck off you pathetic bunch of morons 👋🏼👋🏼
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Step brother just called me & asked for an embarrassing pic of my brother to go on t shirts for his stag do....
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If you want them, have them, if you don’t, don’t.
Why does it need a fucking debate???
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My Dad was a market trader selling pet food. Here is Bernie Winters buying some tripe for Schnorbitz from him. My Dad had this photo in a frame on his stall for ages!
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Hi
@tobytarrant
My boyfriend is a tube driver. I asked him about pigeons on the trains. He told me they get on at Baker Street, but doesn’t know where they get off.
He just sent me this… I can’t stop laughing 😂
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My friend just sent me this... Magaluf 97.
Who the fuck takes knee high black boots to Magafuckingluf in July??? Also, I wasn’t in the Spice Girls despite dressing like it!
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Why do my friends who don’t ever watch football think that I want to hear their opinions on ‘the boys doing us proud’ last night? I don’t care for your opinion on why you think Rashford missed his pen, Karen. Go back to talking about your cats new bed or whatever, Karen.
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Fake outrage over Yidette Factor is in full swing again! It’s a laugh, get a grip. Snowflakes and feminists I am talking to you!! 👀
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I am going to post my favourite photos from the past year or so. I don’t care if no one wants to see them... I am trying to put some cheery stuff on your timelines!
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It’s official... I have turned into my Mum. Sunday afternoon, wearing an apron, cooking a roast dinner moaning at everyone in the house for being lazy.
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People on here saying it shouldn't have been a red... Uncle Fester stood on his fucking ankle on purpose you blind cunts 🙄
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After piling on ALL the weight, I have found a class I actually enjoy!!! Just been to Drum & Bass work out. Before and after
#fuckingstateofit
#fucked
#blowingoutofmyarse
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I am on an actual date with a Gooner. I told him I am only free Thursdays. He laughed and called me a dick! He's a keeper! 😂
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I have hit that age where I can’t be out later than about 10/11pm.
I say no to going out in London / Brum anywhere that takes me more than 20 mins to get home at night.
I will, however, happily start drinking in the morning!
Is this what middle age feels like?
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Me: I have put 1.5 stone on in the last 11 months. I must sort my eating out.
Also Me:
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I really like pizza. I have no issue with anyone who chooses to eat it whilst watching football. You lot are a bunch of fucking freaks who think you’re the only people entitled to go to Spurs.
#getagrip
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*Attention women of social media *
Posting pouty / sucking in cheeks pics for attention attracts weirdos.
Try posting a pic of a smile. You will get a better kind of attention from a wider range of people 👍🏼
Here’s a nice picture of my friends & I for your viewing pleasure.
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It’s £9.99 for a bottle of prosecco on a Friday in this establishment. I ordered a bottle with 2 glasses. I don’t need 2 glasses... I was trying not to look like an alcoholic
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NON Spurs and Liverpool fans only... who do you want to win the Champions League?
Spurs
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Liverpool
114
Couldn’t care less
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Dad had his blood test results today to see how things are after the radiotherapy. All good! Fuck you cancer!!!!
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At the end of the game yesterday, the German fans were all clapping and waving their flags. Everyone was joining in with Sweet Caroline.
I don’t hate Germany. Just saying.
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Now are all the ‘I only like football when England are doing well’ supporters going to crawl back under their rocks?
Come back when you are prepared to go to *Burnley on a freezing *Monday night in January. 😡
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Just saw an Escort RS Turbo Cosworth.... I was transported back to the 90's.
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Gender reveal video by Harry Kane gets posted. Why the fuck are the ‘gender neutral brigade’ commenting? If you don’t agree with it, scroll on. Do you think that all of a sudden, they will decide to bring HIM up as them/they? No, they won’t. Weirdos.
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I can’t handle NLD’s anymore. I have given my ST away for today, and am going out for a girlie lunch at 1. Turning my phone off for a couple of hours at 12:30.
It’s easier this way.
#Idontcarewhatanyonethinks
#COYS
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Twitter used to be fun. I don't care for anyone's political opinions. I am not interested in transfer rumours.
#bringbackfingering
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