Dominic Utton
@DomUtton
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I write. I read. I don't really 'rithmetic. Author, novelist, screenwriter, podcast scripter, journalist, occasional DJ.
Oxford/London
Joined August 2009
I am closing my DMs. They used to be a useful and easy way of people being able to connect with me, but it has got to the point where I'm blocking/reporting 20-odd spam DMs every day. More when I actually post something. If you do want to get in touch I'm very googlable.
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Prolific American novelist here. For some reason that I genuinely cannot remember, I name most of my male characters after obscure Worcestershire County cricketers. Now that they have a women's team I have started naming female characters after them as well. Too late to stop now.
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WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS MEAN
You could imagine an alternate universe where Scree supplanted Khruangbin’s exalted position on weed-store playlists, or where they debuted 20 years earlier and scored Little Miss Sunshine in lieu of DeVotchKa
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Poundland Mussolini will end up hoisted on his own lamppost, mark my words.
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Imagine a shitty bit of paint on a mini roundabout being the boost of your life.
RAISE THE COLOURS: Just had the boost of my life this morning. Mini roundabout near me, had St George’s treatment. 🙌🤩
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Six-thirty pm, the allotment, an encounter with a man at the water trough. “Good morning,” he says. “Good morning,” I reply. We continue to fill our watering cans in silence, neither of us willing to acknowledge what just happened.
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Say what you like about Stella Rimington, but Stella Rimington is a fucking amazing name.
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Tl;dr - everyone is insane, most are related to each other, most are cheating on their partners (sometimes with people they’re related to), there’s at least one serial killer, there’s a whole lot of other murders and everyone’s plotting revenge against someone else. It’s perfect.
So look, will someone please commission me to write a long form piece on why #Hollyoaks is the purest example of Jacobean revenge drama since Thomas Kyd's The Spanish Tragedy? Because it really is and I really am the man to write it. #journorequest
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So look, will someone please commission me to write a long form piece on why #Hollyoaks is the purest example of Jacobean revenge drama since Thomas Kyd's The Spanish Tragedy? Because it really is and I really am the man to write it. #journorequest
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After paving the way for Brexit and ensuring two Tory election victories, Corbyn is now guaranteeing Farage will be Britain’s next prime minister
Jeremy Corbyn confirms launch of new left-wing challenger party
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The #Ozzy news - while obvs very sad - brings mixed feelings. On one hand, relieved I’m no longer editing Q magazine because that would be my whole night fucked - and on the other gutted I’m no longer editing Q, because what a way to spend a night, smashing out a tribute.
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A CEO copping off with the head of HR at a Coldplay gig is so hilariously basic. It might as well be a regional sales conference at a Novotel or in All Bar One after a day out paintballing
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I’ve thought for a while that there’s something inherently misogynistic and nastily public schoolboy about the whole “Rachel from accounts” thing.
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