RT @evilbeast382941: My girl caught me cheating because I had my side chick on my phone as “Guinness world records”.

Serfdom USA.

Putting mustard on my buddy every second until he wakes up.

RT @BUNNlCULA: They Called Him A Poop. But He Is Beautiful.

Adding spices to a Switch game cartridge every day until it tastes good.

Trying to tell the fish in the lake the hooks are dangeous but they won't listen.

I believe in the power of CBT yeah Crushin Beers Today.

12 Angry Gamers.

RT @mybigcrack: Dude if you poke me in both eyes one more time I'm going to make a seriously weird noise.

RT @TheMonkeyJungle: Karen Reacts To Most Sour Lemon In The World “It’s Too Sour!”.

Whenever I see a beer I start doing the spin move from Crash Bandicoot.

I'm crushing beers on the lake and I'm bloated as all hell.

Me and my buddy are on vacation on the lake and were just taking turns saying "We're geniuses" to each other.

Do not go gentle into that job,. Rage, rage against the working of the job.

Miss my buddy Emma on here.

RT @mybigcrack: I get confused when mario isn't in a game.

Fuck. Just found out its brat summer again.

The first guy to ever get killed by a bow and arrow didn't stand a fucking chance dude. Last thing he thought was probably "That guy can't get me, he's over there".

I get murdered by demons 1000 times every day of my life.

Brazilian phonk fancam of Chris Farley in American Ninja.