To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I'm sorry that I asked if he was a rescue. The profanity wasn't necessary but thank you for not siccing him on me.

I saw a dog wearing a vest that said “Not Friendly, Do Not Approach” and do they make these for people? Cause I want one

Spot Crypto ETP Staking has arrived, only at Grayscale. Grayscale now enables staking in Ethereum and Solana products, specifically Grayscale Ethereum Trust ETF (Ticker: $ETHE), Grayscale Ethereum Mini Trust ETF (Ticker: $ETH), and Grayscale Solana Trust (OTCQX: $GSOL)*.

A lot of accounts are getting hacked and that includes accounts that pay for X/Twitter and they're getting zero help from customer service. And people wonder why I never paid for verification.

I can't wait for the Lions to spank the Chiefs tonight.

Losing your account to being hacked by small dicked bitch boys in a basement somewhere and having other small dicked basement bitch boys (X Support) repeatedly deny your claim of being hacked and not giving your account back is worse than losing it to suspension.

This week, we signed a 1000-unit FX Super One deal with ZEVO, a Texas-based P2P EV sharing platform & delivered an FF 91 to Calvin Gong, bridging real estate, auto & crypto. Prep continues for the FX Super One UAE Launch, leading deliveries & paving the way for the U.S. rollout.

Imagine if you had to spend five hundred years in an active twenty four hour McDonald's before going to heaven or hell. That's called burgatory.

Them: why didn't you come to my Halloween party? Me: I was there! I was dressed as the Epstein files. I'm surprised you didn't see me.

Farts are your bodies' version of Paul Revere riding to tell you that a shit/ the British are coming.

I try to inform people of something important that pertains to them, and it gets ten likes. I talk about farts basically being like Paul Revere riding to tell you that the poop is coming and it gets way more likes.

Please share this post. Tons of people are falling victim.

DO NOT OPEN ANY DM FROM SOMEONE ASKING THEM TO VOTE FOR THEM ON A CONTEST OR A PODCAST. CHECK THE PROFILE TO SEE IF THEY'VE POSTED ANYTHING ABOUT CARS OR BITCOIN. IF THEY HAVE THEY'VE BEEN HACKED. DELETE THE CONVERSATION. DO NOT OPEN IT. HACKERS ARE TRYING TO GET YOUR INFO.

A bottle of Jäger turns boys' night out into a brodeo. A bottle of tequila turns girls' night out into a hodeo. The math checks out.

The world hasn’t been the same since we lost Betty White and you can’t tell me otherwise

Hide and seek but it’s just me hiding my issues until I seek professional help

I was supposed to go to a Halloween party but I'm not going to go. If anyone asks why I didn't go, I'm going to tell them I was there dressed as the Epstein files.

This year, for Halloween, I'm dressing up as the Epstein files, so I don't have to go anywhere.

I don't condone the slapping of grandparents obviously. But you really need to try the polish sausage with everything. It might change your mind.

Live texting with my siblings about a new hotdog joint that just opened up in Marquette Michigan.

What do you call it when you pee your pants and it crystallizes the urine in your underwear? Public Zirconia. Someone take away my internet.

Dudes that look like human thumbs are always the ones that say shit like, "I'm proud of my pure Aryan blood!"

Why do all white supremacists look like their gene pool has two shallow ends?