To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I'm sorry that I asked if he was a rescue. The profanity wasn't necessary but thank you for not siccing him on me.

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year

My spirit animal.

“I ain’t goin’ out like that” by Cypress Hill is my favourite song about how the Grinch couldn’t decide what to wear so he just wanted to stay home

My spirit animal.

My college ID. I look thrilled.

WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE?Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

You want to know the story behind this? Sure, you do. Bought this to make my teenager mad many years ago and put it in the main bathroom which he used quite often. He was like. “NO! No way you’re going to keep that on there. It falls forward on you when you’re sitting on the

My biggest nightmare is being the first one at a holiday party. I’ll circle the block fourteen times like I’m casing the place.

More elective silence, and less fear of abandonment.

I need a stranger things translator

Thank fuck for the music.

Sometimes you have to disassociate yourself from others and their bullshit.

Dick a bag of eats for a nice change of pace

I am not verified, and I will never be verified, unlike your mom.

My body type is- you can kinda tell I used to be a runner, but you can also tell that none of those runs were recent.

Due to personal reasons, no, absolutely not

maybe we all carry within us some kind of slumbered kindred knowledge

I was broke way before I went woke.

Hot girl shit, but it’s just me laying under the fan naked cause it’s too damn hot

I don't think I care how Strange the Things are anymore