a sad little man
@DAVIDPLEASESTOP
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david (he/him 25). not much on talkin, just too mean to die.
hell
Joined February 2019
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Pinned Tweet
my new Stick
one small pleasure that is not often talked about is just finding a Good Stick
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this couple just come in at 9:00am, watch movies n cuddle til 1pm, go get lunch, then come back n do the same thing til we close at 6pm.
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nah this kinda hard. imagine being a hero and then they put u in the museum. not a figure not a statue nigga YOU
The preserved body of Balto, the sled dog that made the final 53-mile stretch through an Alaskan blizzard to deliver life-saving medicine to children.
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ppl that haven't lived in the country don't understand that u will have REAL beefs w specific animals. we had a fox that was scaring deer and ate my sister's rabbit n the night we caught him was like we got Bin Laden
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i regret to inform you all that it seems like The Lovebirds have gone their separate ways. It was a beautiful, blissful two months, however. We should all be so lucky.
this couple just come in at 9:00am, watch movies n cuddle til 1pm, go get lunch, then come back n do the same thing til we close at 6pm.
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my therapist said i should text the girls who ghosted me and ask for clarification on why things went wrong. is it just me or is that insane
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was just in the gun store n there was a dude trying to get his AR worked on n the employee goes "sir this lower has no serial number so this gun is... a felony" n the dude looked up at him like this
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@GoirlD4
if bonnie and clyde had been in a city w a decent library maybe things could have been different
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Replying "hell yeah brother" to a woman that just sent me a pic of her tits
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real niggas r constantly visited by the horrors of the past and the spectre of what is coming u wouldn't get it
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he ain got one song where he needa be doin this
'Cage the Elephant' singer Matthew Schultz busted for guns in NYC
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ong this the sexiest thing i ever seen a white woman do and i have seen a lot of porn
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reminder that my own mother, as i lay on the couch for a month wrapped in 50 feet of bandages regrowing skin on 30% of my body, ordered this for me and thought it was the funniest thing ever
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i miss ambien so bad
I fuckingn spilled my salasa 8n my bed fuckfuckdukcj dude
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yes i know this is not a felony but u dnt kno how funny it was to see a white man's blood run cold in real time
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this is how i expect my wife to react to her coworker when he tries to hug her
Switched my Rose XL-COMP slide to a macro frame🌹🔥All the capacity so I could test this cool flip down wing / thumb rest! Enjoyed the 17+1 round count and added shoot-ability from the wing 🙌🏼🔥
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he got that shit on tho
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give me 40mg of adderall n a cherry coke n i could whip that hoe
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u think i give a fuck? i'll watch Seinfeld on full volume in the middle of this Chick Fil A i promise u i dnt give a shit
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god forbid men have hobbies
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fr come to the library we jus be chillin n wearin cardigans fr
Come back to the library! Give us a second chance! Don’t be ashamed, don’t be embarrassed. We’re here to help you! Libraries want you back, we can’t wait to see you ✨
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many a back been blown out in this image's warm glow
I watch this more than any other show
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Dude sick i cant wait to play as my neighbor
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just found out she's 53. i'd blow the dust off it like a big book i found in the attic
my work crush is a 40 year old woman w silver hair
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one small pleasure that is not often talked about is just finding a Good Stick
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latest library couple. we should all strive for this kind of peace
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30 year old woman w 4 kids just shot her shot at me and i politely told her that we r in wildly different places in life but the whole time i was like
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before this get out of hand:
earl is my goat and we have all partaken of the pale fruit at some point
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me when the bad hoes show up
On a scale of 1 to 10
#StormIsha
is looking very windy out there this
#SundayMorning
on the Hellfire trail.
#StaySafe
#YellowWarning
#weather
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u think i give a fuck? i'll watch Seinfeld on full volume in the middle of this Chick Fil A i promise u i dnt give a shit
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I fuckingn spilled my salasa 8n my bed fuckfuckdukcj dude
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i could start crying at literally any moment the tears r always on deck in the corner of my eyes
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what happens if a amish nigga just goes rogue and kills somebody. does he go to regular prison or a colonial times prison
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I SUMMON POT OF GREED WHICH ALLOWS ME TO TAKE 3 AMBIEN FROM MY DAD'S DRESSER WHILE HE'S AT HIS FRIEND'S FUNERAL
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Wanting love and companionship is so dumb n embarrassing
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hank hill AI covers r now my emotional support animals
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this one of the hardest combos i have ever seen to this day
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what's the "jungle fever" term for liking Jewish women
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mario: i musta sava da princess
luigi on day 72 of fighting ghosts:
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that one nigga that dont play abt Japanese pianist and composer Ryuichi Sakomoto
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personally, i'm blaming Boldy freak ass in the background
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This blueberry waffle so good!!! What kinda waffles y'all like?
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"Uhm heroin and fentanyl jokes r not funny!!!" -a white person that's been calling themselves a crackhead for years
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me realizing that one day i'll be 40 and milfs will just be regular women
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it's a lot of niggas i would not like to fight but very high up on the list is an older overweight man that works in a warehouse
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The EMT's saw my penis n told the ambulance to drive me to the zoo
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WHAT is coming to Halo Infinite???
Flat tire? No problem. Rim jobs are coming to
#HaloInfinite
New equipment, repair field, set to release later in season 5
#HaloReckoning
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i ain seen pussy in so long they prolly dont even keep the clit at the top no more
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dad didn't even care about my Stick. this is why our relationship is strained. he is forbidden from using My Stick.
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@slicesofmoss
i do know them bc they come in 5 out of 7 days a week and we (the staff) love seeing them be in love :)
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ok guys stop liking this i do not want this to be my first interaction w earl
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Thanks for coming to my birthday party guys! Help yourself to some punch and a Gun from the Gun Bowl (pls only take one)
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my brain: you are a worthless sack of shit. you've burnt out all of your potential. everyone wishes you were dead
hank and bobby singing I Got 5 On It:
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clothes clean + no wear on your gear + no drip + you look like a long baby
I was exhausted after training all day! More training this week!
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this is how it felt in new york when i used to take ambien and walk to the bodega to get a quesadilla
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Alec Baldwin hopped off the porch at 63 yrs old n caught a fucking body that's kinda hard ngl
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unprovoked acts of mischief wherein the gibbon gains nothing from doing it. flawless. no notes. we should all strive to hate this hard.
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Ladies if u can actually suck the Cookout shake thru the straw dm me
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we met up n she said i had no sexual energy then i couldn't go in the club bc i had my gun so i went home n watched avatar
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me starting work at the library:
Ima carry my knife in case I gotta cut one of these crackheads
me after a month and a half of working at the library:
Ima carry my knife in case somebody try to cut one of my crackheads
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yo stupid ass buying groceries for the whole week meanwhile i got 400mg of adderall n 12 hot pockets n a heart full of malice
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King Krule be personally taking the pistol out of my mouth when i hear that live album
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reasons why i'm single:
-i frolic too tough
-my boots and hat too different
-my herd too bad
-they'll kill me
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when i die i want my funeral program to look like a Project Pat album cover
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How Westside Gunn not the goat do u hear how he got shorty threating ur life doing gospel runs???
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30mg of adderall and a 9mm handgun n i'm handling that 10/10 times
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Never seen Gone Girl but from what i can tell it's just white women's Joker
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