Charlie (Let's Keep It Respectful On Here!)
@CharlieSosnick
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Best Friend To Many / Mr. DoItAll / Mr. Everything / Determined / Up For The Challenge / Calm / Wise / Intellectual / Spiritual
Joined December 2015
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I don’t think this is “sick.” I think it’s wrong
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kind of dope that this might be the profound revelation in human history and i'm hearing it on the toilet and immediately scrolling past to look at something funnier
NOW - US recovered non-human biological pilots from crashed crafts, UFO whistleblower says in hearing.
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1000 Twitter employees with three months severance. Pray for Mexico City.
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The mental health benefits of a weekly Bourdain day (walking around, trying a new restaurant, chatting, drinking by 2) can not be overstated
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I hate when my gf puts my dinner in this. So slow fml
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trying to get some pussy at the improv show
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This is Margaret Hamilton. She wrote all the code for the Coke Freestyle Machine — by hand. 🤯
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this is real love. porn is not. please jack off to this instead.
Couple married 79 years die hours apart from each other: 'They went out together'
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We probably don’t need to film this guy in 4K 60 FPS
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@KingJames
, congratulations.
You broke a hallowed record and elevated the game forever. Keep it going and keep the faith.
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To all the stoners out there high as hell reading this tweet
- you’re higher than you think
- this feeling is permanent
- what you’re doing is wrong
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I was feeling jealous and angry after hearing that the beautiful Julia Fox went on a date with the mercurial, strange Kanye West. So I put on a suit to remind myself of my own mission and goals. That’s the power of quality menswear!
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Men will legit start a podcast instead of going to therapy
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Cut to: 22 year old eating sushi in bed googling “how to get trash off sidewalk”
BREAKING:
@NYCSanitation
hires
@McKinsey
to do a comprehensive study on what NYC needs to finally get trash off the sidewalk (couldn't we have just called the mayor of Barcelona?):
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Virulently anti-Semitic. Meeting with world leaders. Rejected by a supermodel.
Kanye West, welcome to your Borat era
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the barber showing my penis on his IG live after he lines my pubes up clean
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$130 billion and he's dressed like a bisexual RA
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Im in South Williamsburg using my three semester of college Yiddish to warn Chasids about the vibe shift
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me: fuck backgammon fr. boring ass game
dua lipa: huh? you don't want to play? :(
me: jk lol. love the ancient game of kings 😁👍
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Oh I think I found myself a cheerleader
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this is how it feels to be drunk in the daytime
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Stuff like this makes me so happy I could cry
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I went out for drinks with my gf. She insisted on bringing her girls. They called me a bum and a loser when I sent out Venmo charges. What do you think? 🤔
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There is nobody scarier than someone who could meditate 15 hours a day for 6 months with a monk and come out of it wanting to post engagement bait Twitter threads
I meditated 15 hours a day for 6 months straight with one of the toughest Buddhist monks on the planet.
Here's what I learned:
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Fewer things are sexier to me than listening to a man talk about a topic he is passionate about or something that brings him joy 😍😍
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“You’re gonna love my friends from Chicago”
The friends from Chicago:
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When you and your uncle in a hoe phase at the same time >>>
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I literally texted my landlord over 48 hours ago asking her to install a brick pizza oven before my dinner party this weekend and it's not even close to done. Shit like this makes me understand Mao
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in Ancient Rome erectile dysfunction was considered elegant and desirable. stiff, durable hard-ons were viewed as low-class or even barbarian.
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when I wake up tomorrow I will be on vacation
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I’m in Sephora telling women they don’t need this expensive crap. You’re already beautiful!
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Aaand I’m being kicked out of the store. Real classy, Sephora.
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Turns out my fly was down and most of my scrotum was visible, plus some of the tip. My apologies to all involved!
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I want to go on vacation with Dua Lipa… twitter do your thing
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Me: if my girlfriend found out about this she’d kill me lol. She gets mad jealous when I’m alone with a beautiful woman
Vice President Harris: this is a dream
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if you're a single man and you haven't posted a story mourning Angelo Badalamenti, you need to get focused and start playing the game
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let's check in on how the disc golf community is responding:
Trans female disc golfer wins women’s tournament in Virginia after Calif. ban
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she looks hella equine here no disrespect
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oh my god bro… she likes working out, quotes Vines like a mofo, and she’s leftist?? That’s wifey high key
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I’m at my friend from Brooklyn’s bachelor party. We’re in a stretch Prius on the way to the safe space. The groom has had too much oat kombucha. A non-binary professor came out of a giant cake to lecture us.
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@RACH4_theSTARZ
It must have been so terrifying for your teacher and parents to have a 10 year old talking like this
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POWERFUL: Canadian PM appears undaunted after personally battling wildfires on the frontlines, his face blackened with soot.
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Go to the poop restaurant. Have a bowl of poop. Have two. Wash it down with diarrhea. Take a shit. Don't wipe. Talk to the guy next to you about poop. Enjoy the ride.
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a lot of yall might live forever the way you stay eating mine
Eating a handful of nuts daily may reduce heart disease risk by 25%: study
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I will post this image any chance I guess
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I hate this type of bidet. Way too hard to get your butt into position and the water doesn’t even spray the right way
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If Karl Marx saw me do standup, he would laugh his ass off then shake my hand after for spreading his ideas in such an entertaining way.
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Oh cool just hmu when you’re done then
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Email is 99% sales from a website you will never visit again and 1% the most important news you ever receive
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I love going apeshit on my scallop with this product!
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Ethically euthanizing my dog with these so he goes out hella horny
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Delta 8 is mentioned in the Bible
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Standard Israeli socializing
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The poverty in New York is staggering. I saw a guy in Times Square who couldn’t afford any clothes. Literally naked except for a cowboy hat and guitar. And these assholes just lined up take pictures instead of giving him something to wear.
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Girls will text you goodnight and then go ketchup… 😭💀🥵
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[at the deli in Reykjavik]
Halló ock! Let me get sheep's head and boiled cured testicle loaf on bread cooked in the ground near a geyser! Side of fermented shark! And you know I can't forget the cumin vodka!
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Penis hits different when your gay frfr
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If Wall-E saw an airpod he would hump it
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Bro I hate this new babysitter. Tummy time is over! flip me bitch My neck hurts!!
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her: stopppp you're so annoyinggggg
me:
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We went to hibachi with my liberal cousin and he missed the shrimp three times and his girlfriend had to ask the chef to do it one more time because he had been excited all day to catch one and then he missed it again
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Not me tho!!! What’s up Brooklyn how we doin
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Today’s females stay doing too much
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It’s time to BeReal
Man who shot Lady Gaga's dog walker sentenced to 21 years in prison
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Some context: in American culture, rats are considered highly undesirable. Finding a rat in your soup would be inappropriate and off-putting for most people.
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Fascinating. Thank you, British guy who pretended to be Korean
Catastrophic Implosion of a submersible explained:
When a submarine hull collapses, it moves inward at about 1,500 miles per hour - that’s 2,200 feet per second.
The time required for complete collapse is 20 / 2,200 seconds = about 1 millisecond.
A human brain responds
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people were so mean to me about this
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I met Spongebob. She’s Black.
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Wow. So crazy. If it could happen to him, it could happen to anybody.
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Pitbull shared powerful truths about nutrition at my runway show!
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Late night at Drake’s house. We’re all on the couch. Liquor in my system. Someone starts freestyling. It comes to me and I sing a crazy hook that silences the room. Nobody knew I had a voice like that. Including me.
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I feel like a nocturnal emission the way I pop out while you sleep 💥 😴
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southwestern Connecticut women have that flavor and attitude you just don’t find anywhere else 🤤
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Brooklyn comedy finally answers the question, “What if Jerry Seinfeld went to a private four year university , had no work ethic, and was exposed to hardcore internet pornography in his early years?”
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This is the photo juniors take in front of College Hall when they get serious about LinkedIn
11 years ago today, Drake released his mixtape "Comeback Season"
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a teenage Chabadnik at the public library furtively googling "get sewage smell out of felt borsalino hat"
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They’re hanging my jersey in the Viral Hall of Fame
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First guy to ever show severe divorce symptoms without getting divorced
Drake copped a new custom diamond necklace called “Previous Engagement” made of 42 engagement rings, representing the 42 times he thought of proposing to different women but he decided not to‼️😳🔥💎
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I’m on vacation goofing around with gender
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Congratulations on going to Wharton, Noah! I hope you like smoking cigarettes with Turkish people
This video of Noah Schnapp learning he got accepted to college is the purest thing in the world. Congrats Noah!! 👏
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My Friend Can Do This Amazing Trick!
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Megabus to Philadelphia
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fuck marry kill:
- chilling
- vibing
- getting lit
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The Brooklyn comedy scene better watch out. The talent in this Oberlin senior class right now is next level and they are HUNGRY
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That one homie who don’t play about breastmilk
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The caulk I did a few months ago came out amazing!
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My grandma eats so much pizza she has her own delivery bag to keep them warm. I didn’t realize civilians could own them
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a "good" spotify wrapped is one of the biggest red flags. it shows you are living for others, even in your private moments. it's a charade. your wrapped should be tasteless and fundamentally embarrassing.
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will never forget when one of the coolest kids in high school wore this and got mercilessly ripped. the day I saw that even giants could fall
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just took a deep breath outside
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Chicks with this hair don’t play about social media management
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the best disc golfers I knew were aggro construction workers who smoked dabs on the course and drank malt liquor in the parking lot. they know that if they speak on this, they will lose the custody battle.
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