૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
@CBD42O
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yoo chill im just a vessel ! didnt mean to flex on u bro Im just a vessel ,
brooklyn
Joined February 2011
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i wish girls who want boob jobs and girls who want boob reductions could just like. venmo each other some tity.
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who is ariana's therapist and are they accepting new clients
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cig lizard you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. they'll kill you.
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office culture is someone bringing in donuts and everyone for some reason refusing to take a whole one and cutting off 3/8 of the donut and then at the end of the day there's like 17/25ths of 9 different donuts left
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beautiful home, gay husband who doesn't even live there most of the time, both cheating.....it hurts to see other people living your dreams 😔
The fact that the Marchioness of Cholmondeley is cheating on her husband, the Marquess of Cholmondeley with bald-headed William when her own husband is 63 and still looks like this… head full of hair? AND he has a beautiful home??? Girl
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having a bakery that opens at 10:30 am is so unserious. new york loves to do this. they dont even stay open particularly late in the afternoon either
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dinner with pawpaw tonight...❤️ he made 12 burgers for all 6 grandkids and im the only one who showed 😢 love him
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not only did pusha t call himself daddy from his dogs IG, he also commented "thanx son"
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journaling is so sick you can write bad poems and post cringe in there and no one even knows
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i had to get really stoned to sleep ln bc i drank a redbull at 10 pm but i just ended up making this lol
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just learned that betty boop had 2 bfs: a fat dog and a gay guy
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"what r u going to gain from it" is actually like. a really good question to ask urself and others regularly
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anyone: how old are you
me: time is not something i acknowledge
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all men in their 20s do is juul, watch ur instagram stories, have navy blue sheets, do fantasy sports leagues and lie
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There's so many beautiful places I can't wait to see when I travel the world 👌🌎✈️😍😍😍
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just an abuser reminiscing about the good old days of giving another abuser a platform. good vibes only no negativity pls
anyone who is capable of finding anything negative in me posting this link... what the fuck is wrong with you? this is him. this is a recording of our first conversation and it exposed him to the world. this shit changed thousands of lives.
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$1.69
that’s the cost of my vegan dinner
but apparently that’s too expensive for people addicted to cheese & meat
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backup cameras are overkill. they are an insult to the divine connection between man and machine. you should simply have an innate awareness of where the car is. if you listen to your heart you will know
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briennes taller than tormund? get her out of this war she should be hooping
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"i work at vice and pay $1937 to live in a box with no windows. come to my dj set in brooklyn. admire my $300 t shirt. wah the train sucks"
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im on acid in a small town in wisconsin and we watched a man lay still for like an hour and then catch a seagull with his hands???? help
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me watching the waiter take someone's plate with an untouched pickle still on it
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i'm so high i've been laughing at AI generated memes for like 2 hours. they're so much better than anything man has ever made
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fuck mary kill chicago man edition: improv comedian, indie rock band adjacent, mid century modern furniture guy
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when I like a hot celebrity woman's pic it's cute im just supporting the girlies but when a guy does it it's disgusting pathetic and thirsty
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wrong. MM/DD/YYYY more effectively represents how we use the calendar and also it makes more sense when youre saving files and can auto sort them so items from the same month stay together
DD/MM/YYYY is the superior date format , MM/DD/YYYY is just dumb.
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every time Shia does something James Franco prolly reads about it & slams his fist on a table like "FUCK why didnt I think of that"
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"i lived near cabrini green" ok so u lived in river north and poor people shopped at the same walgreens as u sometimes lmfao
@jeandeauxmusic
Zip it. BTW, I lived in Chicago for a long time. Kept a loaded shotgun under my bed because I lived very near Cabrini Green. Now Chicago wants even more. You should visit Galts Gulch. It's a fantastic place.
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seeing rico nasty today keep thinking about when
@goofyuniversity
said her music makes u wanna disrespect a substitute teacher
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sorry i can't make it to your party i have a headache from straining to suck a too thick milkshake out of a straw
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i'm not trying to be rude about the dog btw that's just how wikipedia described him
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am i overanalyzing or am i just attuned to the subtext. theres no way to know unfortunately
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when men make songs like "if i wasn't rich and poppin would u still be down"
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took winnie to the vet yesterday and the vet pulled her fur and then was like "sorry i love huskies i was hoping she was blowing her coat because its really fun to pull it out in clumps" but like i understood her exactly. it is really satisfying to get a good chunk
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y'all always have time to talk about Megan thee Stallion but what about Jesus thee Salvation? if he hadn't died for our sins we would all be having an eternal "hot girl summer" in hell! talk about that!
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drunk people keep wandering into the dog pop up and not realizing it's a dog bar and being so shook lol. some girl just stumbled in and saw winnie and screamed "A REAL LIVE PEANUT"
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pros of going to space:
-would probably be the hottest person there
-won't run into anyone i know
-closer to satellites so better wifi (?)
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i think everyone who is going thru it should be able to sit by the pool until they feel better. it should be provided by the government
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downloaded a dating app last night and immediately had a nightmare about ethical non monogamy
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YALL imlaughjng i SWORE this dress was gonna be hot but i look like the ghost of a dust bowl era widow whos evil husband died of scarlet fever then went thru a hoe phase that ended w being hospitalized for hysteria & jumped out the window of the psych ward & haunts the building
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@local__celeb
sometimes i try to figure out which one they would show of me but then i remember no one has ever liked or even perceived me at all
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just drank 1.5 lbs of cold brew and feeling some anxiety? unfortunately nothing could be done to predict or prevent this
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none of these things are true but it's great bait and also so glad to see homie hopper representation
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IT IS DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE HOW DIRTY YOU ALL DID THIS MAN. IMAGINE LITERALLY ANY OTHER CANDIDATE DOING THIS. WE DONT DESERVE HIM
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sometimes i still laugh thinking about when i was 19 and stupid and paid for my own plan b and then venmo requested the guy like 5 years later and he paid it fhkjffdjkv
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lmfao im at a bar with a guy and a different guy saw me about to pay for my own drink and intervened and paid for both mine and the guy i'm with's. that's so fucking alpha lmaooo
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@frynaomifry
idk why this one is so funny to me but taylor swift leaving the private island she and harry were vacationing at when they broke up
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just learned when horses are born their hooves look like this i am not ok
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when u realize ur the last person at the house party who doesn't live there
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chance the rapper: lean all on a square, that's a fuckin rhombus
2013 me:
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these are actual graphics from presentations i had to watch at work
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u know how in video games u eat like, one apple and gain 10 health or whatever? when i have a day where i'm just eating single ingredients not really cooking or combining anything i call that gamer meal day. apple carrot cheese wedge bread like ok arthur morgan
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i bet in hell u just have to try on jeans that are made for someone w an extremely different body type in a hot dressing room with bad lighting. forever
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these $300 vintage bird bookends i was never going to buy anyways are sold out im so devastated
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sweettart ropes satisfy my desire to chew on a soft ethernet cable like a little rat
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if bon iver was born like 10 years later and not horny for The Woods he'd be post malone
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me: im gonna start saving money
me after 1 beer: I would rather drag by body 3 miles through broken glass than share an uber with a stranger
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do u ever look at someone's selfies and u can just immediately tell they were a theater kid
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