ME: Is he going to make it?.DOCTOR: No. I’m afraid he’s down with the sickness.ME: *crying* oohwahahahah.DOCTOR: *holds hand* oohwahahahah.

Only Philadelphia would turn an endangered species into nuggets

Telling Gus if he doesn’t behave he’ll end up as a fur lined boot

RT @CelesteZona: @ANewEnglandGuy @BuckyIsotope What does Bank of America have to do with the Congressional hearings of yesterday 🤔.

RT @CelesteZona: @BuckyIsotope @ownsabicycle @SecKennedy What does Bank of America have to do with anything 🤔.

oh my it happened again

RT @BuckyIsotope: WASHINGTON: there will be a sports team more famous than all the others and it will be worth the most money and have all….

me trying to figure out whether it's faster to push the 30 second button on my microwave or enter the actual time

RT @BuckyIsotope: .@taylorswift13 do u follow back.

RT @BuckyIsotope: ME: *loudly* nobody better be doing anything weird behind this Tastee Freeze.JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP: *runs away*.

WASHINGTON: there will be a sports team more famous than all the others and it will be worth the most money and have all of the publicity.SOLDIERS: and it will win the championship games?.WASHINGTON: it will not

I for one think the new Cracker Barrel logo is pretty damn good

If someone sat this down in front of me I would beat them to death with a hammer.

TRUMP: you have some updog on your tie.PUTIN: what’s updog.TRUMP: *looking around furtively and whispering* I don’t know they won’t tell me either

Of you stack the Metallica song 2 x 4 over the Blind Melon 2 x 4 song what mathematical result do you get?.

RT @1followernodad: BECAUSE AI DOESNT THINK YOU DIPSHIT.

RT @KUnDFWEnjoyer: boyfriEND. girlfriEND. best friEND. they all END. you know what doesn’t end?. Jerry Jones. RT if you cried.

RT @alliharvard:

Better character:.

RT @murrman5: [wife wanting to discuss my mid life crisis] brent.[me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now.