Walking The Cow
@BrettPain
Followers
13,454
Following
3,321
Media
2,861
Statuses
52,689
Raised orthodox redneck. In exile. Ornery but cordial. Manager of ancient wares. Hare Krishna!
Columbus, OH, USA
Joined September 2008
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Amethi
• 174270 Tweets
Knicks
• 144074 Tweets
राहुल गांधी
• 135243 Tweets
Sixers
• 73084 Tweets
Brunson
• 71152 Tweets
憲法記念日
• 67081 Tweets
#Raebareli
• 64027 Tweets
Embiid
• 58946 Tweets
स्मृति ईरानी
• 23868 Tweets
Smriti Irani
• 23505 Tweets
Hayırlı Cumalar
• 22826 Tweets
Tobias Harris
• 22082 Tweets
Pachuca
• 21751 Tweets
ゴジラ-1.0
• 21127 Tweets
Josh Hart
• 20654 Tweets
Hield
• 17043 Tweets
KerenTIMNASKU STYdanERICK
• 16521 Tweets
Pumas
• 16100 Tweets
TetapSMANGAT GarudaMUDAKU
• 15800 Tweets
DONBELLE IN SOCCSKSARGEN
• 11392 Tweets
Last Seen Profiles
My daughter has seen drag and burlesque and she still has no fuckin idea what sex is because she is a kid. I’ve told her how babies are actually made more than once and she forgets every time. Conservatives who want her to die if she ends up gay or trans are her biggest threat.
97
5K
63K
She likes dresses, make up and dancing and she thinks when people shake their butt it’s funny, like most kids. We have an actual relationship with real communication so I don’t need to worry about ANY outside force. Republicans are terrible parents and they blame us for that.
10
205
5K
I’m not the only kid raised by conservatives who escaped the minute they turned 18. They’re the most arrogant and abusive parents. They treat children like pets and create shame and inner turmoil in their kids that will ruin decades of their lives.
20
255
4K
A guy just rode by on a bike playing “Don’t Fear The Reaper” on a boombox like we’re in some Stephen King novel.
20
290
2K
For a place with open drug markets it’s encouraging to see AA meetings and sober Juggalo tents at The Gathering.
13
75
1K
Something I found out recently is that you can get out of any service contract, shut down any salesperson, and get special customer service treatment just by saying "I'm going through a divorce." I am gonna use it for the rest of my life.
17
52
1K
hey if you’re friend or family or neighbor or someone from work goes to the psych ward please treat it like a heart attack and show up one fuckin time with a call, a card, a visit, etc.
9
129
1K
For a month, you've known me as the foremost expert on stocks, but I must announce, in light of new opportunities ahead I am making a career change. Last night I accepted a position as the expert on the history of Texas power grids.
3
112
1K
Open hand slapping a man is a completely neutral act it is simply registering your opinion with him.
16
64
868
It’s a neat bit o’ biology that when you are in a seated position at a restaurant you suddenly stop emitting Covid.
5
92
707
A girlfriend can get you to do wild shit like set the thermostat to 74.
18
10
649
most dads either got in a bar fight or got a DUI while listening to guys like this and now they act scandalized by pink hair 🙄
7
68
620
I’m going to dilute a hit of acid in a dropper bottle with some grocery store vodka and sell it to my successful friends as DREAMwater for $20.
6
22
608
Who tha fuck is trying to get a Netflix deal when we got Means TV out here. I'm trying to get all my people paid.
2
15
561
The Grateful Dead is for trustafarians. The guy I know who followed them around the country got 50k from his parents for his wedding. Wealth is the only thing to make you comfortable enough to waste 17 minutes on someone trying to squeeze the right note out of their guitar.
37
35
545
This stupidass thing where I talk to my bud about how everything is rigged against us has snowballed into this gigantic community that I can't even comprehend anymore. I'm letting go of the negative thinking and leaning into all y'alls joy. shit is crazy and it still feels young.
19
7
512
Bryan wants to go to Sweden to walk a 100 miles and I want to go to China to tornado 100 beers with this guy.
Ha ha, open bricks by hand，Do you like similar videos, my friends?
272
751
10K
14
12
512
Good news I just discovered $200 that I previously hid in a hat and immediately forgot about.
27
2
512
Y’all think it’s funny that Facebook is down but who the fuck is gonna research Covid vaccines now????
5
69
522
The mainstream media is pushing the narrative that we need a unified leader but on the ground, in every city, there are hundreds of leaders. Brave people ready to do what it takes, that the whitewashed history books won't remember. It has always been this way.
4
97
497
I like how people in the south won’t let dogs on the furniture.
14
10
485
It was Covid after all I’ll never slander booty again!!!
When you realize your throat is itchy because you ate some booty.
6
1
43
20
19
479
I was at the Juggalo March on Washington and the clowns walked around with trash bags during and after to collect trash. J and S2D announced they accepted every race, gender, sexual expression, and the fugly. Juggalos have a tactic for stopping fights by chanting "FAMILY".
When you read the first paragraph, and you don’t need to scroll up to know it must be
@gcaw
:
152
109
509
11
67
449
my neighbor is a 50 year old metal head who loves Street Fight Radio. It’s the best possible outcome.
8
3
427
The people that want to send kids back to school 2 months before they can get vaccinated are worried about the damage caused by not being at a school as if that entire institution isn’t responsible for most of the damage their old ass is still dealing with today.
8
23
401
DayQuil is made to force people to work.
bitches will smoke three pounds of weed but not take dayquil because it makes them feel “out of it”
177
6K
109K
2
19
375
Packing up my clothes and having a real big crybaby day.
34
0
378
To all the people who was still worried about me, I’m listening. I won’t be on the show until I’m back to normal.
29
0
400
I started doing DoorDash for Christmas money this week and in 3 days I’ve seen violence against cashiers, been cussed out by employees fed up with delivery apps, watched a Bob Evan’s drown in orders, seen 1 person run an entire Church’s chicken, and more.
5
20
378
I got an anal fissure but not in the cool way it was the hetero way where you don’t eat vegetables and then a poop cracks you in half.
16
4
374
Being mad about riots is about as pointless as critiquing bird migration.
1
47
375
Well I got Covid and so far it’s not that bad but worse than expected it feels like DayQuil like I’m beginning the journey of my head exploding and I’m living in a dream world.
30
1
377
I think this voting for president thing is going to solve all of our problems 🤞
5
28
373
the climbing panther was the trashy ass generic tattoo when I was a kid. I saw them all the time and they were awful, and tattoo people always cracked on them. My dads co workers and every shoeless person at the corner store usually had it. I’ve always wanted one in solidarity.
15
3
368
The only reason cops get haircuts and coffee for free and a hundred thousand a year is because we expect them to die for our children.
4
26
367
The police in this town have had a scandal every six months since I’ve been alive and the mayor just says “golly gee it can’t be our honorable police that we hire and protect doing this.”
This morning two Columbus Division of Police officers, John Kotchkoski and Marco Merino, were charged with crimes related to distributing fentanyl.
I am flat out angry. The allegations are disturbing and represent a complete breach of trust.
80
47
183
7
21
355
Not surprised to hear most of the people storming the capital were Small Business Tyrants because they thought they were smarter than everyone else so they had to save us all.
6
35
347
Anyone who advocates for workers by fighting for slurs is a condescending bourgeoisie scumbag. They have no real world experience at a job and don’t know the actual makeup of the working class. Just an unfair stereotype that serves their egotistical need to feel better.
6
32
324
I would like to pre-order a PS4 from someone who pre-ordered a PS5.
5
7
329
In a wonderful turn of events someone is offering to airbrush a wizard onto my Toyota Prius.
11
2
334
Not chasing after every single fleck of weed that falls from your grinder is a luxurious feeling.
6
7
311
Taking acid and watching Holy Mountain like I'm 22 again.
15
2
289
I’m done with these god damn hipster bullshit businesses. I went to a new bagel shop in town and you can’t even buy a dozen. Just one $2 bagel at a time. Buncha fuckin yuppies sitting around happily getting price gouged.
14
14
290
Keeping my head up by thinking about all the great things the future could have in store for me.
9
7
286
Without class warfare the rest of us are stuck at the bottom... So fuck that.
Hello everyone. Billionaires in wine caves have as much right to say who gets to be president as waitresses in diners and plumbers in my bathroom. Class warfare is ugly,
@ewarren
Thanks for listening everyone.
16K
5K
46K
5
14
297
The father of the class clown from my kids 1st grade class messaged me today to say he liked my podcast 😆
6
1
302
I managed to skate, play frisbee golf, host an auction and go to a cookout all in one day.
14
0
292
While buying my car, I couldn't get the guy to budge on price, so I said "Well this is a great deal and I don't want to take money from your pocket but I'm getting a divorce and I need to save as much as I can, is there anything you can do?" so he took off $200 in admin fees.
1
4
282
Disregard this.
If you refer to podcast hosts who you've never met by their first name you have a mental illness
224
26
897
25
2
276
I would like to relaunch this venture.
22
23
269
Also while getting ready at my new apartment today and carrying stuff out the downstairs neighbor said “hey are you street fight” and I immediately recognized him from the variety show.
3
0
281
My family has never given a shit about me, but without a wife, and with super cautious friends who I’ve hung out with maybe once or twice this year this Christmas is feeling incredibly lonely. I feel like I’m starting my whole life over again.
22
0
281
I called to cancel a pest control contract and they sent me to their retention department. All I had to do is solemnly say "I am going through a divorce right now." and they replied, "Oh....... well then Mr Pain let me cancel this account for you today."
8
3
282
when I am watching the go-off kings with the Street Fight account and I pay 200 bits to play "Jonathan Davis Scatting for 19 seconds" and everyone says "Oh that's Bryan!! He's hilarious"
3
1
277
I wish Pixar would go back to making movies for kids instead of people having a mid-life crisis.
11
5
273
Bryan don’t even own a drill
19
1
279
Passport lady said I wasn’t allowed to smile because my eyes disappear so now I look like something eradicated my soul
15
1
270
Finally watching Hereditary. Now THIS is the kind of fucked up shit I like to see. So damn intense.
17
0
269
Why don’t the democrats just say “We are sending every American a $3200 check.”*
*$1200 + $600 + $1400
4
16
249
One of the nice things about having a kid is someone has to get all the valuable air out of the can and that's a dad job
6
3
252
The "kinky" sexual stuff in David Lynch movies don't really shock me, as a person who watched a video of a woman giving birth to a Nerf football when I was 14.
13
5
242
If I die before I wake, I pray the Lord would take my 9 drink cups by my bed to the sink.
4
27
241
You coastal freaks would pay $17 for a croissant sandwich with herbed boursin cheese, fresh garden vegetables and aged farmers cheese don't even act like the concept of the Scott Walker pizza is disgusting.
21
5
223
I'm sorry but back in the day being rah-rah about some mainstream movie bullshit like the avengers meant you were a fuckin idiot loser. Drill a hole in your head if you think it's a good use of your time.
9
9
223
Columbus gave the residents at camp shameless hotel rooms to stay in until they move on to more permanent housing. Lots of people excited to sleep inside for the first time in years. It’s sad but it didn’t end with bulldozers and riot cops. Plus the community it created is huge.
6
14
255
It's wild to think about ten years ago when I was trying to convince our friends we would make a successful podcast. I had zero evidence and I was full of shit but now we're here and it's been flipping me out just thinking about it.
11
1
231
My wife does not like my new catchphrase, “I believe in home acceptance, not home improvement.”
5
16
247
The divorced neighbors association did send me a care package full of medium pizza coupons, discounts on word tattoos, body pillow deals, and a subscription to Tarantino magazine.
8
1
243
This dude isn’t a shaman he’s a private school drug dealer. Non-organic food isn’t making him sick he has an eating disorder and has panic attacks from feeling “unpure”. He suffers from affluenza.
6
9
230
Damn it I should have got photoshop express a long time ago
8
0
238
This was a gift from me!!!
Whoever sent me this shirt has finally found one that I’m too nervous to ironically wear
39
101
3K
2
2
233
Voting for Marianne Williamson is like asking for the bumper stickers on a Subaru to run your life.
11
21
210
Street Fight Radio just did Eat The Rich podcast and it was fuckin great.
14
4
227
I have officially received the only t-shirt I’ll ever need.
7
3
232
The
@QanonAnonymous
episode about Jim Caviezel is bonkers. I’m going to listen again so I don’t miss any details. I still don’t believe what I heard.
16
4
234
Bryan makes the hotel room unlivably cold so I leave my luggage on the floor in the pathway to the bathroom with hopes he stubs his toe in the middle of the night.
9
0
226
To all the little baby whiners who are mad about my music taste. How about you just think I'm stupid and move on? No one is required to like or respect all music. Everything fucking sucks in its own special way.
17
7
223
This mechanic was standing here wondering out loud about why I didn’t call when the problem presented itself and why I didn’t bring it in earlier and I just loudly interrupted him and said, “I’M LAZY....I’m fuckin lazy and I hate dealing with cars.” He said okay and left.
4
8
215
Basically, they want you to go back to work faster. They still say 14 is safest but if your manager will fire you otherwise then 10 or even 7 is okay too.
CDC is providing public health agencies with options to shorten the length of quarantine in some situations. Quarantine length is determined by local public health authorities, so follow guidance from your health dept. about how long you should quarantine.
220
489
1K
9
76
229