Jon
@BigJon865
Followers
1,521
Following
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Media
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Statuses
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I can dance on my own grave, thank you
Joined October 2011
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Pinned Tweet
What he said
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I know Cairo is a big place but I don’t know how any city can justify having two Bass Pro Shops this size
Sunrise from Cairo. The view outside our hotel is IMMACULATE. Great pyramids off in the distance.
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Alabama fans doing the “shucks I think y’all got us this year” routine online is disgusting. Have some respect for tradition and threaten to burn my house down like a man.
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This is how people dress for divorce court in Cincinnati
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If I was out drinking in Charlotte and said “hey I just saw Mick Jagger outside” they would take my keys away
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Smash cut to Kyler the Kappa Sig pledge holding 113 iPhones after halftime
Big Brother coming to Alabama? The Crimson Tide use a location-tracking app to check if students are staying to the end of games (a big ask in blowouts). The carrot: dibs on playoff tickets.
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We have made every coach we’ve played this year have a full blow tantrum on the sideline
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Congrats to John Kelly on being the only Vol to make a bowl this year
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Dan Mullen’s wife kissing 53 grown adult men before 16 games a year is the funniest thing I can imagine
With Adam Gase reportedly set to be fired after Week 17, could Florida Gators HC Dan Mullen be a candidate for the New York Jets' head coaching vacancy? 👀🔥
#FrontOffice33
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#TakeFlight
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#NYJets
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Neyland is an AirBNB for shitty teams to come live out their big game fantasies for a weekend
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You can get CPR training for free in most places and it’s a potentially life saving skill
Note to everyone: learn basic CPR. Learn to use an AED. Sudden cardiac issues can happen, and the faster CPR can start the better.
#bills
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11am: Jeff Brohm rumors start
1pm: it leaks that we’ve offered him the job
3pm: “sources tell us Brohm is likely to accept Tennessee’s offer”
4pm: Brohm tweets “Boilermaker for life”
4:05pm:
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Colts played it smart and locked up three bye weeks before the pro bowl. That’s how you hang banners
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Nick Saban is retiring, sources tell ESPN. He won six national titles at Alabama.
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I have eyes on the Whistler sir, I repeat, I have eyes on the Whistler
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Running a Barstool Purdue account is maybe the funniest thing you could devote your time to. Have some self respect and just collect funko pops or something dude
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All that BBQ space and we never even sniffed an SEC championship. Bruce Pearl would’ve won 3 straight nattys with this backyard
Butch Jones’ Knoxville home is now on the market. The six-bedroom, nine-bathroom home was listed for $3.795M.
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The BCS is objectively better than the playoff. I’d much rather get deep dicked by a faceless computer than a bunch of old vampires named Mitch and Charlie
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Every year y’all make this look more and more appealing
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I remember when my wife and I first started dating and were talking about music. I brought up
@JasonIsbell
and she said “I think he played our sorority fundraiser junior year” and then she casually pulled out this tshirt and my head fell off
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Hauling ass down 40 to see my Vols ruin several Kentucky fans’ Broadway boot store honeymoons
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This is every outfit I wear from October-January so I think they look handsome
try to find a worse-dressed band than the 1994 edition of the Eagles, it's not possible
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We watched 7 seasons of incest, rape, and violence and Arya catching Gendry’s hammer is the most uncomfortable I’ve been by a mile
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Am I losing my mind? You can’t play a basketball game because of COVID protocols but you can do a meet and greet with fans?
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The Titans must respond to the Colts aggression with a show of force. Allow me to announce the next pick and I will murder a horse live on stage.
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All that work just for Marcell Ozuna to come out and yeet your shit to the moon
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Imagine being against free health care with deadlift form this bad lol
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Wisconsin football looking like the worst cryptocurrency on the market
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Honestly there is no greater dopamine rush than beating the breaks off Will Muschamp. Eat shit asshole
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The people that reminded your teacher to collect homework in middle school are all college basketball refs now
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@laurencapps94
@StephenHargis
@SEC
A Tennessee fan chomped in my 14 year old son Kylzer’s fave so rudely that he soiled himself and vomited. We had to listen to the end of the game on the radio while we ran him through a car wash
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You give us a winner and we will show our entire ass
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Slept in a van and showered at a Commerce, GA truck stop for these Vols. We either punch a ticket to the CFP today or this is my last day on Earth.
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Thank god gameday isn’t in Knoxville again this week so we don’t have to see a 10 minute Rinaldi story about that coal miner that didn’t warsh up for the cats game
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Honestly I’d rather see this than faux objectivity any day. It’s more fun
99.9% of sportscasters: avoiding bias to their former school.
Charles Barkley:
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Ate a rotisserie chicken with my bare hands over the sink for dinner. Things are going well.
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@thetrillbillies
Wearing this shirt to my divorce proceedings and losing my entire ass before I can say a word
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This is a very funny thing to do to ND. Great job, everyone
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In an alternate timeline Greg Schiano’s first O&W game has draw a crowd of 1800 and
@Jon__Reed
is on a hunger strike outside Gate 21
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Someone’s never been to North Myrtle Beach
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Lol at all of us saying “I’m done” like this is something we chose and not a disease we were born with
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The first tweet about Jarrett Guarantano being “a talented kid who just needs to limit mistakes to take the next step” was sent from an iPhone 4
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Take your dumbass home Elizabeth, you've gotta shift at Calhoun's in 3 hours
This woman was maced inside the Capitol. She told me, "It's a revolution!"
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Every NCAA basketball ref is a guy who loves snitching but has too many DUIs to be a real cop
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You have opened the gates of hell and released demons upon the earth. Prepare for the reckoning.
people will soon realize Bama was the lesser evil
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Apparently not a damn thing
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Craven little shit
@timburchett
is at least honest about his lack of desire to do anything for the people he “represents.” This state is represented by some of the most useless and hateful people in existence.
Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN) on school shootings:
"We're not gonna fix it."
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Imagine going to Liberty and celebrating your biggest basketball win ever with a nice tap water and some lingering eye contact
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Just a normal Sunday online torpedoing multi-million dollar agreements with our internet friends
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We gotta put a glass dome over Franklin. A bunch of little boutiques that sell $42 candles named “Mama Tried” isn’t worth this
A mom 4 “Liberty” is upset a textbook teaches how seahorses mate… yes, seriously.
#WilliamsonSchoolBoard
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Gonna beat the CDC to the cure and get our first win in Atlanta in 2 decades
CORONAVIRUS CURE? Two researchers the University of Tennessee in Knoxville have discovered a chemical compound that, if it passes more testing, could be the cure to stop coronavirus and prevent it from spreading.
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7. Million. Per. Year. Tennessee could walk into a brothel with a fistful of hundreds and end up with its dick in a light socket
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This is true. As a doctor I wear a mask 12 hours a day, and if you so much as sneeze in my direction I will die immediately.
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12 billion dollar bailout recipient Chase was immediately and rightfully shamed into deleting this lmao
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Imagine how good Thursday Night Football would be if we went to a 4 day work week
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You know who I really feel bad for? Me. I don’t deserve this bullshit.
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Bad day to be an old sock in the Chad Fields house
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I used to think having the ball run down your throat was the most helpless feeling in sports but it turns out it’s having a billion threes hit in your eye while wearing an all polyester outfit
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Saw my dad do this with a trailer full of hay that he then set on fire with a cigarette butt he threw out the driver side window
Imagining a 46yo father of three originally from outside Knoxville, Tennessee whose job was to strap the cargo into the ship that’s now blocking the Suez. Morning it set sail he circled the ship twice, patted the cargo a few times, grinned and announced “that ain’t going nowhere”
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I knew I was always going to place a really dumb bet on Conor, but the CJ Watson jersey just sealed the deal
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Somebody on Reddit noticed Stanley’s resolution was to “be a better husband and boyfriend” and I’ve been laughing for 2 days
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