BaptoHammer
@BaptoHammer
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Ba☧tist | Assuredly joking | Cat petter | ამინ იესო | “The limits of the Lord’s mercy have not been set.”
Joined July 2017
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An older pastor I know was once threatened by a wealthy parishioner that he would take his large tithe check elsewhere if the pastor didn’t comply to his leadership demands.
The pastor replied. “You take your money, and you perish with it.”
I think about this a lot.
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I think about this like once a week.
What are some of your favorite Family Guy jokes from the early seasons?
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“the minichurch trend,” or as I like to call it, just normal church
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Just because I tweeted why Catholicism isn’t Biblical, doesn’t make me a “protestant” or whatever Catholic people assume I am.
I am a reborn Christian. I believe the Bible is the authoritative Word of God and Jesus is the ONLY way to having a right relationship with God.…
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for 30+ years, my dad has been pulling this picture out of his wallet, looking at it tenderly, and asking people, “do you want to see my pride and joy?”
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@JerryFalwellJr
@drmoore
He's a Christian theologian and ethicist. He's exactly the kind of person who should be speaking to this kind of moral atrocity.
The real question is why do you think making a payroll & building an organization is relevant at all to treating all people with basic human dignity?
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one of my seminary profs told us that if you appreciate someone's writing, email them and let them know. it's unlikely they hear even a fraction of how their work has helped people.
it's great advice, and every time I've done it, I've had such a great talk with someone I admire.
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Eisegesis is what Jar Jar Binks would say if he had a messianic complex.
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I’ll never forget reading Roland Bainton’s book on Luther who, seriously and on more than one occasion, talked about goblins in his adult life.
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wild that God himself goes to Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, and Pentecostal churches
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Woman worshipping the triune God in the pew in front of me.
Thoughts?
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Pastors, let’s commit to doing the Lord’s work in 2020: telling Mammon-worshippers to repent or perish.
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He is alive today.
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what’s your hottest Bible take? mine’s that’s it’s totally true and real
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I’m such a Protestant, I read “go make more” as evangelism.
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they finally got what they wanted.
Beth Moore is gone.
but now they’re mad that she left.
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if Moses were a mythopoetic construction of post-exilic Israel, then who was standing w/ Jesus on the Mt. of Transfiguration? Faux-ses? Uh-uh. I don’t think so. Okay?
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they’re too cowardly to admit that christic manhood means being a Bride
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apropos of nothing.
“It is better to err by excess of mercy than by excess of severity.” - John Chrysostom
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girding my loins for dunks here,
but something I’ve noticed about Baptists (maybe Evangelicals), very broadly speaking, is that the left image is fine and the right one is not.
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y’all laugh but our God IS an awesome God; he DOES reign from heaven above with wisdom, power, AND love; our God IS an awesome God
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just thinking about how one of my English profs in college told us about how she had a bf break up with her by sitting her down, pulling out a CD player, and playing “The Love Is Gone” from A MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL—all while holding her hand silently for the duration of the song.
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“um okay I don’t need Paul, the Apostles, the New Testament, the Bible, the Church, God, or Christ to be Christian it’s not that complicated???”
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Orthodox, Catholic, and Protestant Twitter coming together for Kanye
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the CDC says this; the CDC says that.
oh yeah, well what’s the KJV say?
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never forget the most wonderful Christmas disaster of all time
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.
B̸̠̻͙̟̋̐̆̽̑̊̿Ȧ̸͍̘͔̔̋̍́̓͘͝͝Ś̵̢͔̱͓̝̣̤͈̫̈̑͛̑͝Ễ̸̬͙̩͓͑̏̃̅̇̈̉D̴͑́͌͌͜͝
.
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@jennafischer
Was Steve Carrell using a prop foot when he’s on the couch in the conference room? Something about this looks off!
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I am having an extremely awful day.
In your charity, please pray for me.
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“Then Jesus said, ‘What an utterly fatuous troglodyte you are; a filthy little vulgarian.’”
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mom, can we have a church calendar?
we have a church calendar at home
the church calendar at home:
Today is Biblical Sexuality Sunday. We join with all those living under regimes that threaten our freedoms and churches if we dare teach what Scripture says about God as Creator and lawgiver. I will be working through Genesis 18-19 at Apologia Church today (6:40pm EST).
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Come, thou long expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth Thou art;
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart!
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our holy war on smut books is next.
Sex and nudity in movies has decreased by almost 40%
Movies with no sexual content has increased from 20% per year to 50%
(Source: )
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Notice he’s missing the helmet of salvation.
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
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non-denoms love to go to Zaxby’s after church and say, “here I am to order; here I am to chow down”
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I usually try to avoid telling people out in the world I’m a pastor because 95% of them become *extremely* weird the second they hear it.
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wife and I enjoyed one of the last few cool nights in Georgia with a bonfire, reading Isaiah and Psalms, singing some Wesley hymns, and having two deer and one opossum swing by.
being alive is incredible. God is good.
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fellas, let me help you grow in your devotion to Christ.
I will pluck your eyes out and chop your hands off for free.
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"I do believe! Help my unbelief!" is never far from my mind, heart, or lips.
One of Scripture's most precious prayers.
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yeah I’m a biblical literalist; the Bible is literally the greatest Book
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ghost hunting reality show with a Catholic priest and a Pentecostal exorcist
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not a single Catholic is a weird America idolater. never seen a single one, especially on here.
Protestants will do goofy stuff like this but freak out when Catholics venerate the Mother of God 😆
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man, I need y’all’s prayers.
I have a necessary surgery next Tuesday that now is in jeopardy because of our medical sharing group may not cover it.
extremely frustrated and deeply worried.
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just had flashback of a Christian dinosaur book I had as a kid:
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Now it’s an Afterlifeway
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the most based thing I’ve ever seen
Hand written Bible by a member of Dubai St. Mary's parish. It took 5 months for the 4 member family to complete this task.
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@benshapiro
Wait, so you want these friends to be nice to you in public on your birthday, but you also want to make fun of them in public at the same time?
Why would they say happy birthday at all if you’re that kind of friend?
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I could use your prayers.
I’m tired. Emotionally drained.
I’ve given my whole life to being a Christian, trying to be faithful and obedient to carrying my cross daily in the name of Jesus.
Tired of other Christians nitpicking. It’s crushing me.
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someone in prayer meeting tonight thanked God for our church—how they often are closer than blood relatives. Then she paused and prayed:
“Well…I suppose we are blood relatives, Lord…through the blood of Jesus.”
and I had to stop myself from HOLLERIN
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it would be wonderful if Mr Peterson one day repented and believed the Gospel then retired to a life of worship and good works. ✝️👍
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people say America isn’t in the Bible but how do you explain this?
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Christian men: God loves the vocation of homemaking.
—Laundry
—Changing diapers
—Menu-planning
—Preparing meal after meal
—Teaching children
—Helping & supporting your wife
—Praying
—Sewing, knitting, etc
The world scoffs, but all this work will be rewarded by God.
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y’all talkin about WandaVision, but
y’all should be singin BeThouMyVision
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lol, I’ll say it—you are INSANE if you go to a megachurch.
TX megachurch pastor
@howertonjosh
may hv plagiarized pastor
@jobymartin
in Howerton's apology to his congregation last Sunday. Howerton’s apology, which concerned a wedding night “joke,” was almost identical to apology given by Martin 2 yrs ago. 1/2
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I think it’s okay to hit Christians that do this. 🤷🏼♂️
customer just handed me a folded up “fifty” as a tip
I hate this place and I hate everyone and I hate myself
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People forget that going to church regularly is as much (maybe even more so) for the sake of your neighbor as it is for your own sake.
Your congregation needs you.
They need to see you, hear you, hug you, for you to listen, give them your resources, and spend time with them.
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Jesus Christ when he cancelled my unpayable debt to God—praise his name!
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Probably the funniest panel I’ve ever seen. I think of it often and fondly.
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guess which one will come again to judge the living and the dead
You worship a skinny Jew nailed to a cross. I worship a ripped Olympian that rides a panther. We are not the same.
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I’ve blocked him.
I’ve muted his name & buzzwords.
But y’all won’t stop posting Owen screenshots.
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Happy New Year, everyone!
I can now tell you that I’ve been called to be the pastor of my home church!
It’s surreal to think the church where I was born, raised, saved, baptized, catechized, called, and ordained is the place I get to serve.
My pastorate starts Palm Sunday.
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