Armchair Copelord
@ArmchairCopelrd
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AKA "Samurai Ty". Failed Army Officer providing delusional cope masquerading as analysis. Assistant DA in Juneau. Armchair Warlord Parody. Hostomel Vibes Only!
Putin's Lap
Joined May 2022
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My latest hobby is watching clips of the Russian version of tag, where the losers get conscripted and shipped off to Ukraine.
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Came across this alternate version of the Chinese peace plan, I like this one better somehow.
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Nothing says "I stand by my analysis" like deleting all my YouTube videos
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It occurs to me that the advantage of this system is that you only end up conscripting your slowest and most unfit citizens.
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Gang, here's some more delusional cope masquerading as analysis.
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Gang, losing 3 of your top line fighter bombers in a single day is perfectly normal and to be expected as part of daily operations. Meanwhile, Russian aircraft continue to deplete NATO patriot missile supplies. Cope and seethe!
Today, in the Southern direction - minus three Russian Su-34 fighter bombers! ✈️✈️✈️
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Gang. The T-14 is so superior that it even has a hiding place for Saddam Hussein.
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Totally not worried about this Kherson feint; Having 25k soldiers cut off from supplies and being slowly attrition'd is normal. Any day now Russia will bring all that modern equipment it's been hiding since day 1 and flank attack into Odesa!
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Gang, it's been a momentous 24 hours for Ayden, so I put together this memorial video in memory of his dignity. Forever gone, but always in our hearts.
Plus, if you look carefully, you might see a little silhouetto of a man.
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Gang, it's September and still nobody has ever been able to show the effects of HIMARS at all. I've seen no evidence on Russian propaganda telegram channels, so it simply can't be happening on the ground.
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Gang. It's 2024 and Russia is finally marshalling it's troops from their bases in the deep rear, because "the real Russian Army hasn't turned up until now" is timeless cope & you can just reuse it endlessly. Cope, and maybe even seethe a little.
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Gang, ATACMS is a bust. This KA-52 looks fine. Slap some flextape on it and it'll be back on the flightline in 14 minutes.
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Serious post. The one place I can put my anger at the beheading video is into supporting Ukr more. If you're struggling after seeing/hearing about it, remember you're not helpless, you can respond. Find a fundraiser, donate, it makes a difference. For me; $200 to
@LibertyUkraineF
There are no words that can describe my feelings when I see the terrible video of Ukrainian soldier being brutally executed. I can’t explain what I feel.
But we have to unite, and push even harder against russian brutes. Write to your Congress, donate to support Ukraine, fight…
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Gang, I can't believe it's October 2023 and people still take me seriously. I have been catastrophically, systematically wrong about everything since February 24th, 2022.
Here's some delusional cope masquerading as analysis:
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@profwolff
Were the Russians winning they would not need to pull old tanks from storage, manufacture new ones, beg for ammo from North Korea, etc. Hmm, yeah, this logic doesn't work, does it? How on earth did you make Professor?
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Gang, remember that the Kerch bridge incident is simultaneously a) something that barely did any damage b) an accident c) easily repairable & back in action tonight, d) not a cause to panic, e) unprovoked NATO aggression and f) something that Russia needs to respond to with Nukes
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Gang, I've accomplished what I set out to do here: promote Russian propaganda, spread cope to all who needed it, make a complete ass out of myself...
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Gang, I did not retreat in humiliation from Twitter, it was a planned operation. Losses of this kind are to be expected, and the entire narrative of a successful NAFO offensive was false. My return was a feint, I just conducted a voluntary planned withdrawal out of goodwill.
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PSA: Will say this only once. The likes of Telenko & David D are not to be taken seriously. You can't laugh at Geroman & ArmchairW for critical thinking failures, then excuse the hopium/BS peddlers on our side. It's the same brainworms at work. All are totally out of their depth.
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Why Gang, why?
Why would Zelensky travel internationally, visit friendly countries, build alliances & gather support for his country? Simply inexplicable.
True leaders get ostracised, hide in their room & don't have any real friends to visit. Or, that's what I heard at least...
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Gang. Turns out that I don't actually look better if I shave my head. The horror. The horror.
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Gang, Russia successfully defeated inferior NATO ATGMs & Mines by using it's far superior BMPs & tanks to absorb the explosions.
Equally, Russian infantry defeated useless NATO cluster munitions in their thousands. Another bust.
Bottom line? Avdiivka has been a huge RU success.
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Gang, what did I tell you? The T-62 is far superior to any of the NATO tanks that Ukraine has access to.
I proved this beyond all doubt with some basic tank maths, and now BrOSINT is coping and seething.
I'm looking at you
@OAlexanderDK
Gang, NATO Challenger 2's, Leopard 2A6's & M1A1s are completely ineffective. Russia has the far more advanced T62. Basic battlefield maths shows that if you add up all the numbers in the western tanks (2+2+6+1+1 = 12), they are worse by a factor of 50 (62-12 = 50) than a T62.
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Gang, don't doom. This so called "raid" into Belgorod hasn't achieved anything of purpose, and Ukraine definitely hasn't made off with any important equipment...
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Gang, thank you all for getting me this amount of cope to lord over for Christmas. How did you know this was what I wanted?
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Moots my analysis, or to put it more succinctly; I was wrong and I have no idea what I'm talking about.
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Gang, reports of absolute carnage as Russia's retreat turns into a rout are completely, utterly false. Russia is just shaping the battlefield. In fact, I believe that Russia is currently advancing on Odessa. Don't doom.
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Small PSA. I've realised, spinning Russian victory out of defeat is about to become increasingly hard, which only increases the odds of you mocking my hairline. My hairline is cursed, but that's another story. Anyway, even I don't have enough copium for this so I'm out (again).
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Russia is somehow shooting down all the HIMARS rockets. These explosions are actually Russian fireworks, celebrating the HIMARS shootdown.
I saw a HIMARS once (when I was fetching coffee for HQ) so I'm way more credible than
@MarkHertling
.
CC
@CalibreObscura
@LivFaustDieJung
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"...And Fellas behold! For the almighty Lockheed Martin above did sayeth to thee... Go forth with thy glorious F16s, and thine Javelins, and bringeth the word of the almighty down upon those who seek to stealeth our washing machines..."
(NAFO 5:26, Book of Lockheed Martin)
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Gang, there is no way that a HIMARS strike just turned an entire Batallion of Russian Mobiks into a fine pink mist, because I once made coffee on an Army Base near HIMARS, and therefore I can tell you authoritively that HIMARS is ineffective.
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Gang. How time (and being wrong constantly) wears a man down.
I think we broke Armchair Warlord.
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Some serious feinting going on around Kherson right now. This is just a shaping operation. Russia has Ukraine right where it wants it. Russia only sent in a small portion of it's professional army so far anyway. 90% casualty rates are perfectly normal & acceptable.
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Gang, I am a master of the Battle Damage Assessment. 2000lb bomb. Right there. This is why my superiors kept me hidden safely back in HQ. "Too special to risk having on the battlefield", they said. Clearly they were talking about protecting my talents.
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Gang, NATO Challenger 2's, Leopard 2A6's & M1A1s are completely ineffective. Russia has the far more advanced T62. Basic battlefield maths shows that if you add up all the numbers in the western tanks (2+2+6+1+1 = 12), they are worse by a factor of 50 (62-12 = 50) than a T62.
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Gang, I've no idea who made this video about my bestie Donbass Devushka, aka real Russian girl Sarah Bils from New Jersey, owner of my favourite propaganda channel
@DD_Geopolitics
Whoever they are, it would be awful if the world saw this, so whatever you do, do not like & share.
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Gang, Russia will not withdraw or be defeated near Kherson, they will just conduct an amphibious reserve assault from the west bank of the Dnipro to the east. And remember, 90% losses on river crossings are perfectly normal.
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Behind every Vatnik is a real person with a micropenis, who simps for Putin and denies genocide.
#VatnikShrinkageIsNonNegotiable
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Gang, I forgot an option:
3. I'm a moron with no idea what I'm talking about.
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Gang, all this speculation about NordStream, but nobody asking What Moskva Doing?
We haven't seen it since it went on it's special underwater operation, and now this?
Not a coincidence.
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Gang, after seeing the IDF 14 days into it's ground offensive with 35 soldiers KIA, how can these wannabe tacticians on this website slag off my beloved Russian Army? IDF has rookie numbers. By this stage, the Russians would have been doing 1000x times better on the KIA counts.
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@amnesty
You know what else we witnessed in 2022? The absolute murder of Amnesty International's reputation at the hands of Agnes Callamard.
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Gang, Ukraine lost 10 million troops & 5,000 brigades attacking Bakhmut. I know this because I saw 1 destroyed tank, then compared the Russian MoD's 100% trustworthy press releases to what's happening on the ground...
...and you know how I know what's happening on the ground...?
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Gang, all the NATOids are living in fantasy land. Here in the real world, Russia has expended merely 5% of it's power, tripled it's Army, expended it's production lines & learnt how to defeat all of NATO's advanced weaponry. Meanwhile, the US has already lost 50% of it's arsenal.
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Look gang, don't doom. Russia simply accomplished it's goals in Balakliya. They only needed to occupy the ground long enough to de-washingmachine-ify the region. Once they'd liberated all of the white goods, they withdrew in good order.
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Gang, remember that HIMARS is both completely ineffective, and the biggest leap up the escalation ladder that NATO has made.
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Gang. You all saw Zelensky's announcement of something big coming.
He was talking about my return to Twitter.
I have a desperate, irresistible urge to humiliate myself with insanely bad takes that prove to be wrong again & again. The cope calls to me in Russia's hour of need.
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Gang. Any sketchy and kinda organised fellas still around? How's everyone's 3rd degree sunburn doing?
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Real talk. Can I suggest unfollowing this attention seeking 💩 already?
I'm hardly a moral authority, but creating panic about nuclear attacks to generate engagement ain't it. And "he's just translating" is no excuse. He knows exactly what he's doing.
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Gang, do you think he was arrested because he's ignorant, or evil?
The SBU has detained Gonzalo Lira (aka Coach Red Pill) in Kharkiv under Art. 2 and 3. 436-2 of the Ukrainian Ukrainian criminal code
In layman's terms, he has been arrested for disseminating Russian propaganda and calling for attacks upon Ukraine
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Gang, trust me, I'm an expert on cope-propaganda; the Russian Army is inflicting 100 to 1 losses and is advancing on Kyiv as we speak. Cope & seethe, BrOsint.
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Gang, I'm predicting it now, we're about to see a huge Russian breakout from Kherson all the way to Kyiv. I have never been wrong in any of my predictions before, and the total opposite of my predictions has never happened. Don't doom!
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Gang, I swear to god that the Kherson front is sending those sweet sweet Hostomel Vibes my way right now. Vibe check, anyone?
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Gang, you heard it here first. The Ukrainian offensive has culminated already. That's why we've seen hundreds of lost Strykers, Marders, CV90s & Challengers strewn all over the battlefield.
Because, for like the 15th time already, the offensive is over.
Cope & seethe, BrOSINT!
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There Is No Panic In Balakliya. There is only cope. Hope! I meant hope!
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Gang. Anyone got an udpate on this? It's been over a year and I still don't know what the deal is with these Shiba avatar losers. They seem really sketchy, and kind of organised.
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Gang, new hairdefence installed. What do you think?
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Gang. Even with perspective, it's still unmistakable as a micropenis.
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Gang, losing 20% of your operational AEW&C fleet in 1 day is perfectly normal & to be expected. It's exactly like the time I carried 5 cups of coffee to the Divisional HQ & only lost 1. "Dear God Weaver, you didn't spill the whole tray this time" - proudest moment of my career!
Day 690 of the 3 Day SMO, the VKS loses 20% of it's operational AEW&C fleet 🤳
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Hearing reports that HIMARS was successfully intercepted by a Russian held bridge before it could impact the ground. Another wunderwaffe bust.
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Gang, if there's one thing I actually know anything about, it's unprofessional social media activity. Isn't that right, Juneau DA's Office?
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Gang, update. No missiles hit any targets. Actually it wasn't 21 helicopters destroyed, it was 2.1 helicopters, which were all repaired within 3 minutes and 42 seconds using paperclips and a ball of string.
None of this changes my assessment. UKRBROS continue to cope and seethe.
Gang, here's some more delusional cope masquerading as analysis.
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Gang, look. I know it's ridiculous that I'm denying these ammo dump strikes amount to anything significant, but I really went all in on the "HIMARS is useless, not a gamechanger, i'm more credible than General Mark Hertling" line, and I can't back out now.
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Yes, I was bullied by Shibas into having a haircut.... isn't it so much better now?
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I picked this image because the guy has hair, and a woman seems interested in him. Two things that are incompatible with the life of a top tier Twitter Military Analyst such as I.
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My father usually sends me a gift of money for Xmas, as he finds it's easier if I just buy whatever I want.
When I told him "This year I'll be passing that money onto Ukraine", he doubled what he usually sends me "to top up the donation".
So, this one is on my Dad's behalf ♥️
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Ahh Gang.
These were the glory days. When I'd make wild claims like, having planned & coordinated ops up to Divisional level. Despite being pushed out at Captain, & being so incompetent that I once had to be put under supervision of a 1st Lt.
I miss telling people to sit down.
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Gang, the key precondition for a Ukrainian counteroffensive hasn't yet been met. It will be roughly 2-4 weeks after I confidently announce that Russian is beginning offensive operations. Trust me, I have a great track record in predicting the exact opposite of what will happen:
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Gang. While Ukraine is getting clapped out Leopard 2s and Challenger 2s, Russia is bringing forwards advanced T-54 models. Ukraine will fall by Friday at this rate.
Reported footage of Russian T-54 tanks heading to Ukraine.
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Gang, this time last year Ukraine had lost 60% of their forces.
@TheStudyofWar
refused to update their map after this, but I'm sure Russia has long since swept past Lyman, & should be in Kyiv any day now. Anyone disagreeing with this has completely gone propaganda and is lying.
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Gang, I'm starting to think that posting that anime version of my boss last week wasn't the greatest idea.
TUA have also emailed a document on Tyler Schmidt Weaver's online activity (and his book's concerning description of a schoolgirl) to his employer, the DA's office in Juneau Alaska, as well as local news outlets.
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@WarMonitors
American MRAPs can be bought in surplus stores anywhere in Belogrod, this proves nothing.
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Let's not forget the sweetest times we had together:
-the time Kyiv fell by the end of March.
-all the warcrimes we denied
-all the feints we celebrated
-that crazy time the Moskva didn't sink
-80% casualties = normal bridge crossing
-HIMARS being ineffective
And so many more...
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I think my past analysis work speaks for itself.
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Gang, I'm publishing this helpful recognition guide:
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This is correct, Gang. That's why, despite never knowing war, I call myself Armchair Warlord, fantasise about Russian military equipment, jerk off to images of Waifus in military uniform, treat war like a board game, & once wrote a war story that even contains "War" in the title.
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Umm... My brother in cope... who wants to tell them?
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Gang, I was reviewing some old threads and thought the predictions in this one were remarkably accurate. I won't say who's predictions, but let's just say that
@KofmanMichael
is probably malding and smashing his keyboard right now thinking about it. Part 1.
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