alphaholic1 - arbitrage philosopher
@Alphaholic1
Followers
7,049
Following
554
Media
3,651
Statuses
46,701
current bridgewater. ex-p72, ex-berkshire, ex-Goldman Stanley. MIT grad. DMs open for arbitrage advisory. citizen journalist. sends leads to Mason
545 W Broadway Ave Jackson, WY
Joined June 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#9entertainAwards2024
• 545924 Tweets
FREENBECKY AT 9ENT
• 409001 Tweets
LINGORM PURPLE CARPET
• 204746 Tweets
ZEENUNEW AT 9ENT
• 163518 Tweets
ML x 9ent
• 130840 Tweets
NINEENTERTAIN X GULF
• 65839 Tweets
Sky TV
• 35941 Tweets
ヒップホップ
• 35079 Tweets
関東オークス
• 33464 Tweets
カジュアルおばさん
• 32554 Tweets
#seibulions
• 27064 Tweets
楽曲削除
• 23180 Tweets
ざこば師匠
• 20917 Tweets
JISOO WITH DIOR IN JAPAN
• 19615 Tweets
#حريق_المنقف
• 12427 Tweets
ライオンズ
• 12377 Tweets
マダックス
• 12137 Tweets
#عيديتك_٥٠_الف_مع_مرزوقه
• 10145 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
“The banks are really levered”
6
7
64
Credit Suisse downgraded to credit sus
86
783
10K
Jamie foxx has one of the best impressions you’ve ever heard
123
1K
10K
I will never tweet anything this funny
When I told my mother the reasons why I don’t go to Starbucks.
This is her response :
It’s sickens me how many people have this mind process
1K
426
4K
6
29
1K
The biggest trick the devil ever pulled was convince us investment bankers are finance guys
20
46
903
Finance guys are just unskilled accountants
46
78
771
Who buys the middle option at the gas station?
57
18
536
If you’re not a CFA you shouldn’t be analyzing stocks. I understand you think you have good ideas, but you’ve got no skin in the game. Let the experts handle it
167
16
402
Okay so sounds like every shadow banker is in the mob
19
35
377
The “working hours are 9-5” crew is unionizing around their $55k salaried jobs
There’s a GenZ tik tik controversy going on where one GenZ boss is really upset her GenZ employee doesn’t want to come to an 8am meeting
3
1
23
32
13
373
One of the funniest things about working in finance is having to entertain a 60 year old who made $3mm last year complain about how it cost him $350 to take an Uber black XL from Westchester to JFK
8
13
363
You guys have no idea how mad KPMG employees are on the KPMG subreddit.
Big4 employees are such dweebs
12
2
352
Remember for every millionaire created, there’s 50 of these guys
18
16
309
My grandfather passed away on Friday, and I’ve been thinking about role
@models
a lot since. He was one of the few people who left the world in a better place than he found it. He passed away at 7:00am and his funeral, 8 hours later, was attended by ~1,000 people
19
1
298
These polls are always so fucking idiotic. It would be depressing if a 7 year old kid said his dream was to work in distressed credit
how depressing
our society has failed to provide ambitious role models to our children
7K
6K
38K
11
15
264
People on my venmo feeds literally charging their friends for coffee. Grow up y’all just buy your friends coffee. It’s fine
10
10
247
Walking into a credit unions data room
6
11
236
Hearing rumors of a pod blowing up
38
3
231
You’ve got a $3 million budget.
You’re forced to choose between:
(1) a 1,600 sq ft Upper West Side condo one block from Central Park, and
(2) a 5,300 acre Kandahar farm in an exclusive taliban support crop
Where you moving?
32
11
225
Had a gun pulled on me while golfing how’s your day going
67
2
200
Today on my run up through Omaha I saw four 42 year olds talking book value. As I passed them I shouted in a firm but friendly voice: "Smells like value investing!" and kept going. I said it as an act of love, honestly. I hope that at some point one of them might think about it.
4
5
201
Man my career would be way more lucrative if I had just followed Chamath’s steps and became a conman
12
7
182
Bragging about being an excellent modeler is extreme junior analyst energy, and I don’t believe that is widely communicated enough
10
6
176
Guy reached out to me from Harvard asking to network I brought up spaghetti Monday and he asked me what that was. I’ll take the State school kid that knows how to hang with the boys
14
3
173
I love the class of political commentators that think PE is a bunch of rich guys who expertly manipulate financial markets instead of like.,, doing a shitty job of rolling up dentist offices and lying about synergies
6
17
171
Y’all remember bear stearns being levered 33x lmao who let that happen
11
6
158
Walked to 4 restaurants last night and got told we should’ve made a reservation. How r u not
@long
every reopening play imaginable
19
11
151
VCs need to ask themselves: would Carl Icahn/John Doerr/John Rockefeller post like such a little bitch?
8
9
154
Someone please hack his accounts and tell me what his cost basis in Sberbank is
22
7
153
How do people afford luxury cars? Is every one just cash flow break even and broke
41
3
148
I truly hate the growth vs. value debate. Nonsense. Own the best companies and don't overpay.
9
13
149
Rich guys on twitter talking about car budgeting is the worst genre of personal finance twitter
6
6
142
Unidentified balloon over arizona tomorrow. F-22 gets called to take it down. Missiles are out and balloon pops. Rihanna parachutes out.
🎵come here rude boy boy can you get it up🎵
6
16
142
I like my women like I like my oil - sweet, crude, extremely volatile and Texan
6
9
134
For a guy who claims to spend $45 on salads, you’d think he can afford inflight WiFi
@Alphaholic1
the joke is in how triggered you got over a picture of a $35 salad that someone DM’d me
hopping on a flight now, talk later
1
0
14
8
1
129
Other cities have offices
This is a San Francisco coffee shop at 11am in the morning.
Packed wall to wall with ambitious founders working on startups.
There is no other city in the world like it
972
233
4K
5
4
122
My dawg really succeeds in every thing he tries:
1) being a successful quant
2) start up founder and business owner
3) club promoter
The CDC has said that the most effective way of finding a hot girlfriend is 200 billion dollars.
613
398
7K
6
3
122
How does everyone just have magically have more time? WFH has collapsed work-life-balance into work all the time at home
6
3
116
DCFs are a tool to help you understand company economics, they are not a valuation tool
13
4
119
Me on Twitter: dude this fucking guy what a moron
Me off twittter: ooo I see mr moron is hiring looks interesting
2
1
114
How you know this mad lad isn’t making it in finance
7
4
115
Mr Bloomberg,,, tear down that paywall!!
2
18
113
Apparently there was a QB with a 4.0 GPA and the announcers were impressed? IDK about y’all but resumes with a 4.0 GPA go in the trash where I’m from. Huge red flag 🚩
19
7
105
Anyone own a restaurant?
Some advice: cut the cute shit out, all I want on your website is a pdf of the menu. Idc about your story or concept inspiration. Menu or gtfo
6
3
111
i mapped every brick and mortar bank branch
13
4
110
a brief overview of securitizations - i'm describing at a high level so i miss some nuance you want to actually me on, i will welcome it. (1/24)
5
17
109
My wish for 2022 is that real estate twitter gets cancelled
8
0
105
Kid who was good at football and kinda mean to me in 7th grade now works at chipotle
10
1
105
Thinking, Fast and Slow could be like 20% of its current length without losing any meaningful content
10
2
102
Having two of the three biggest bank failures over the course of 72 hours and then everyone kind of just moving on a month later is a testament how good our regulators and strong our financial systems are
12
2
103
The “I failed level 2” energy in my mentions has got the place smelling crazy
6
1
100
This type of content is fascinating to me. Half of the meetings here are there to document the banalities of having a job and people are just eating it up
I'm 30 years old.
And I run a $200M portfolio of businesses.
This is my daily routine:
3K
1K
11K
10
2
104
I’ve spent 20 following Amazon, and how they’ve built out their business. I’ve learned an incredible amount about logistics, supply chain management, and long term strategy.
A thread on how I would’ve organized the evacuation out of Kabul 🧵 👇
10
1
102
Reaching that age where people I knew in college are being charged by the FBI for white collar crimes
4
1
100
More and more, I’ve been feeling like I only have a few deals left in me before I hang up the keyboard and move Montana
7
1
100
Who up enjoying their 500k net worth in Cincinnati this weekend
9
0
101
I think if you make more $250,000 in all in comp you’re not allowed to complain about 8am meetings
11
0
101
Deleting my account at the stroke of midnight. Been really disappointed with the engagement on here
24
0
98
I love the compounder bro overlap between “banks are bad” and “my favorite company in the payments ecosystem should become a bank as a natural next step”
7
3
95
“It’s not price competition, it’s scale economics, shared”
2
9
98
I make $250k a year but im
@trouble
making ends meet after rent, Uber eats, gym memberships (to them all), and vacations. Here’s why I deserve some tax relief;
🧵 1/x
6
3
96
A Mercedes A class cut me off in traffic pretty aggressively about 10 minutes ago and I’m still kinda mad about it; these poor people are out of control
5
4
95
Recruiter: I have a job for you
Me: comp?
Recruiter, 3 weeks later: what’s your phone number?
5
1
90
My mba associate just emailed me asking where everyone is today
6
1
94
The finest education A&M has to offer
2
9
93
I saw Chase Coleman at a 2x1 meeting at MS TMT in SF yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was
4
4
92
Do we talk about how boring finance guys (and girls) tend to be?
28
0
90
Taylor Lorenz is posting tik toks about how generational wealth is bad, and not even disclosing she went to a $90k tuition high school in Switzerland
5
3
87
Okay , fellas , who’s in the wrong here?
37
2
84
No one talks about how it’s sus that every planet in the Star Wars universe has the same gravitational pull as the Earth
9
2
88
Sent CFO a deck. He sent it back with “FYI - final, revised” what did he revise u ask? He changed all boxes to circles
15
4
84
“Dunking” on someone who complains about having to work a 100 hour week is surest way to let everyone know you’ve never worked a 100 hour
5
2
82
Ackman really said “you gotta hand it to him”
5
6
84
So are we all just on twitter all day now?
6
4
79
My top 5 business words. What are yours?
1) arbitrage
2) synergies
3) amortize
4) accrete
5) syndicate
56
6
82
Devastatingly brutal own of william gates
3
8
81
