Zach Schonfeld
@zzzzaaaacccchhh
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Freelance writer and editor. Contributor to Pitchfork, Paste, Vulture, etc. Author of two books. Still sitting in a room. Email: zschonfeld @gmail .com.
New York, NY
Joined July 2012
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Pinned Tweet
For the past three years, I've been writing and reporting a book about Nicolas Cage's early career and rise to fame. I'm very excited to announce that my new book will be published by Oxford University Press on October 31.
You can preorder it now:
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You have to admit, "tortured poet with a private jet" is such a funny category of human.
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I'm at the climate anxiety. I'm at the Covid anxiety. I'm at the combination climate and Covid anxiety.
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I love Johnny Cash, but if a pop star played a concert at a prison today and then released it as a live album, the ensuing discourse would render this website unusable for a month.
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Student protesters were right about segregation in the early '60s, right about Vietnam in the late '60s, right about apartheid in the '80s, right about Iraq in 2003, and right about wealth inequality in 2011. Seems generally bad to side against student movements.
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MIKE D: Well I'm Mike D but you can call me
EVERY BEASTIE BOY: Mona!
MIKE D: Stayin at home to avoid
EVERY BEASTIE BOY: Corona!
AD-ROCK: When I quarantine, I still dress my
EVERY BEASTIE BOY: best!
MCA: I be washing my hands like Lady
EVERY BEASTIE BOY: Macbeth!
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Every RNC speech is like "This dangerous national unrest that is occurring now, three years into the Trump presidency, will NOT happen when Donald Trump is president"
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Past Lives presupposes that two writers can remain happily and peaceably married, while Anatomy of a Fall suggests that a marriage between two writers will inevitably lead to murder and/or suicide.
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In 40 years, Columbia will probably preserve transcripts of these WKCR broadcasts as a testament to the school's "rich tradition of activism"
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Mark Zuckerberg meeting truckers in Iowa looks like a movie about an alien who slowly learns to feel
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3. Career
3.1 Zoom Dick Incident
4 Views on U.S. Constitution
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The Zone of Interest is quickly becoming the Parasite of 2023, a great, incisive film that's been hailed by a lot of rich Hollywood people who, it gradually becomes clear, didn't really comprehend the movie at all.
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@bijanstephen
you should be allowed to email (or DM!!) your doctor when you have a quick question.
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Winona Ryder wearing a Wilco shirt while smoking a cigarette with Brittany Murphy, 2002
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RIP to MoviePass, a great socialist scheme accidentally implemented by very confused capitalists
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When I'm struggling with a lede, I revisit this 1986 profile of Nicolas Cage, the greatest lede I've ever seen
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NYT EDITOR: what's everyone working on this week?
BARI WEISS: college kids are fascists
BRET STEPHENS: college students are out of control
DAVID BROOKS: teens should respect gun nuts more—
NYT EDITOR: great, got it
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[New York circa 1919, middle of the Spanish Flu Pandemic]
PUBLICIST: Hey! I know it's a weird and scary time, but have you had a chance to check out Igor Stravinsky's 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘗𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘰 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘵 yet?
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One of the dumbest lies I was told growing up is that all adults become more conservative as they get older. Nearly everyone I know has become markedly more radical in the past 10 weeks alone.
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I'd be so mad if I was serving life at Folsom Prison in 1968 and Johnny Cash didn't even play "Hurt"
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Roger Corman mentored Coppola and Scorsese, employed Bogdanovich as an assistant, gave Joe Dante his first gig, and distributed Jonathan Demme's first three features. The greatest one-man film school of the 20th century, and he somehow lived long enough to see Megalopolis.
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Beware of "Brooklyn Bakery Ronny." He lovebombed me by taking me to the opera and showering me in affection even though I'm engaged to marry his brother Johnny. He has a wooden hand.
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Blink-182's opening act should just be Tom DeLonge giving a lecture explaining everything he found out about aliens.
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Olivia Rodrigo touring with the Breeders and fraternizing with No Doubt? She's the U.N.-appointed Zoomer Gen X whisperer. Legally, she must hire Trent Reznor to produce her next album immediately.
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As a kid, I learned Steve Albini's name because he was the connecting thread between the most intense, uncompromising, urgent-sounding albums I had ever heard. Nobody else made drums sound like that.
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@danozzi
I remember I interviewed Weird Al after that and I think we brokered a proxy ceasefire between Weird Al and Coolio
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You know who else went from a country album to sea shanties
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The tech industry's increasing hostility towards music ownership and collection-building is quite unnerving, especially for those of us who've been obsessively curating our iTunes library since like 2002.
R.I.P. iTunes: Apple will kill the clunky, but world-shattering, icon next week
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Amazon recently fired a Black warehouse worker for protesting the company's failure to protect its employees or provide hazard pay during the pandemic. Amazon executives, including Jeff Bezos, then personally tried to smear him.
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Congratulations to American Football on being the first indie musicians to own a house
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In conclusion, I think St. Vincent should record her first live album at the prison where her dad was incarcerated.
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The crazy thing about Killers of the Flower Moon is that the real Ernest lived until 1986. He could've listened to Licensed to Ill.
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2010: Newspapers begging their reporters to start tweeting
2017: Newspapers begging their reporters to stop tweeting
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@realDonaldTrump
You're about to take health insurance away from millions of people and you're worrying about a sketch comedy show
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The president blocked me on Twitter for saying he's not as cool as witches
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@VoidWarlock175
Are you suggesting that Taylor Swift will succumb to depression if not for her emotional support private jet?
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Does Robert Mueller get to invoice now, or does he have to wait until the piece publishes
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Stephen Malkmus has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever
The Smashing Pumpkins have put out an open call for a new guitarist: "the application process is open to anyone who might be interested."
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BEYONCÉ: I want to perform at the show
GRAMMYS: ok
BEYONCÉ: my performance is a 40-minute abstract meditation on motherhood
GRAMMYS: ok
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I rewatched The Big Lebowski and was stunned to realize that The Dude listens to songs from both Abraxas and Cosmo's Factory—the same two records that Larry receives from the Columbia Record Club in A Serious Man.
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Spike Jonze, if you're reading this, please release the Beastie Boys documentary on streaming platforms. I think we need it now.
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Incredible to live in a declining empire where the president can get impeached, get COVID, get fired, incite a deadly riot, and get impeached again, all in the span of 13 months
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Every New Yorker profile is titled "The Exquisite Brutality of Alex Garland" and every Washington Post profile is called like "Alex Garland Decided to Make a Civil War Movie. Then He Learned That War Isn't Very Civil At All"
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Finally solved one of the lingering mysteries of UNCUT GEMS
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Kurt Cobain wearing a Daniel Johnston shirt to a major award show in 1992, because he could
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I wrote a 3,000-word deep dive into a subject that has haunted me for many years: Why did Sufjan Stevens abandon his 50 states project? And what's the real story behind that absurd promise to cover all 50 states?
Here's my new piece, for
@Ringer
:
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Please, this is no time to celebrate. Trump still has six more horcruxes
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As the internet disintegrates, I increasingly understand and admire Robert Christgau's decision to archive everything he's ever written on a text-only GeoCities-looking website probably designed in 1995.
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Please enjoy this photo of Martin Scorsese relaxing on a donut float
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Liam Gallagher is angrily livetweeting himself listening to Radiohead and it's a beautiful thing
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My iTunes library is full of gems that don't exist on streaming—a Dinosaur Jr. show I attended in 2008, early albums by
@BenSeretan
, bizarre songs I recorded in high school, whatever promo I downloaded last week.
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3 Doors Down tour dates
• tiny theater in Winnipeg
• Florida Strawberry Fest
• THE INAUGURATION OF AN ACTUAL PRESIDENT
•a casino in Alberta
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Laurene Powell Jobs, the billionaire majority owner of The Atlantic, is rich enough to be able to pay the salaries of all 68 laid off Atlantic staffers every year for the next 3,000 years.
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@amylynnuws
I do not believe that it's antisemitic to protest U.S.-funded genocide and neither should you
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Ken Bone is trending. It's 2016. You're in your open-plan office, trying to craft the perfect Harambe joke while listening to 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 for the 200th time. It's all downhill from here.
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@realDonaldTrump
You are more hated in New York City than any other president has ever been in his hometown
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From Thurston Moore's memoir, I learned that Sonic Youth nearly quit Neil Young's 1991 tour because they weren't allowed to play as loud as Neil. Neil came to their rescue and told his crew, "Let Sonic Youth play as loud as they want. They're like me—they're volume junkies!"
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RIP John Cazale. You would have loved being in two scenes of Megalopolis.
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Please don't freelance for
@Thrillist
while its unionized staffers are striking for a fair union contract
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"I don't get it. Delete what account."
"Mrs. Clinton, this is how youths say 'Take a long walk off a short pier."
"Fine, tweet the thing."
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Vox has achieved its final form: explaining Captain Beefheart to normies
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Bon Iver tracklist:
1. 849 M◊◊◊◊◊N CH∑∑∑S∑
2. 420 ʇ ʇ ʇ ∑ ∑ ∑ ∑ ∑
3. I MʇSS KANY∑ (D∞N'T CANCEL M∑)
4. SKʇNNY L◊VE (Jack Antonoff remix)
5. I ♥WʇSCONSʇN (guys i didn't vote for trump)
6. iMi
7. I AP◊L◊GʇZ∑ TO ALL C◊PY EDIT◊RS
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Hi, this is Beto O'Rourke. Many of you know me as a diehard Fugazi fan, but today I'm here to talk to you about another straight-edge icon who hails from the D.C. scene: my friend Joe Biden.
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This was taken in the West Village today. Absolutely outrageous
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The NYT never apologized for inaccurate coverage of you. That is fake news.
@realDonaldTrump
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@realDonaldTrump
You have the lowest approval rating this early in your term of any president in U.S. history. Cheers.
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Damon Albarn: I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea, and I think about leaving me house.
Crowd of 90,000 dead-eyed Zoomers: [confused silence]
Damon Albarn: It's "Parklife!" mates, innit?
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Boomer-era albums that millennials seem to love more than boomers do:
• Gaucho
• Hejira
• Trans
• Nebraska
• anything by Judee Sill
• anything by John Prine
• Here, My Dear
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This never happened.
@RealDonaldTrump
's tweet is a deliberate mischaracterization of a Nov. 13 letter from the NYT.
Remember when the failing
@nytimes
apologized to its subscribers, right after the election, because their coverage was so wrong. Now worse!
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Five days after 9/11, Moby insisted on his blog that we could win the War on Terror if we designed a fake pamphlet that showed Bin Laden drinking and having sex with prostitutes and dropped it over Islamic countries. (Yes, this is real)
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@Optimus_DadLA
Hitler Youth was not a student-driven movement. It was a propaganda instrument of the Nazi party, which made membership mandatory for German youth.
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@DonaldJTrumpJr
@kanyewest
Congrats on becoming a music critic, dude. Your $50 check will arrive in 4 months.
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New York City is actually not allowed to have a good mayor ever because a witch put a curse on us in 1664.
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A recently impeached president who lost the popular vote by more than 2.8 million votes has now managed to appoint one-third of the Supreme Court.
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In 1994, Nicolas Cage told an interviewer that he felt connected to Francis Ford Coppola because they were the only two members of the Coppola family who had smoked weed.
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I love Cindy Lee, and I love that Pitchfork's highest-scored album in four years is a woozy left-field art-pop opus that's unavailable on Spotify, a reminder that there are ways to consume music without lining Daniel Ek's pockets.
Seen a few people say they haven't/won't listen to the Cindy Lee record because it's not on Spotify (even though it's free on YouTube). Madness! The smoothing of tech and removal of options outside of streaming is doing serious harm to people's curiosity.
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I interviewed two different people named Taylor Swift, neither of whom have private jets
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Uggh my grandparents won't stop arguing about whether or not 100 Gecs' embrace of ska represents an ironic pastiche that ultimately does more harm than good to the larger ska community.
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When My Bloody Valentine says they're going to finish two new albums this year
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Ugh my grandparents won't stop arguing about the correct ranking of Kanye West albums
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From Thurston Moore's memoir, I learned that in 1995 Sonic Youth wanted to change their name to Washing Machine and release a debut album called "Sonic Youth." Geffen was like "absolutely not," so they simply titled the album "Washing Machine."
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(Here's the NYT letter Trump is referring to. It's really not an apology at all.)
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I can't believe I have to spend the rest of my life feeling nostalgic for when there were more than three websites.
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I talked to some indie bands about the financial hell of touring in the Covid Age. Spotify is valued at $30,000,000,000 and your favorite bands are barely breaking even on the road. For
@Stereogum
:
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The only president who was in worse shape three months into his term was William Henry Harrison (he was dead)
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In 2008, Scarlett Johansson released an album covering songs by Tom Waits, who in 1988 successfully sued Frito-Lay for impersonating his voice in a Doritos commercial. What the hell are they building in there?
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