zema
@zemzyjuice
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medical doctor • visual artist and designer
Joined July 2020
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omg what
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haha he was Left Back 🙃
OFFICIAL: Real Madrid announce that Marcelo has dropped out of their squad to face Real Betis today due to back problems
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“my course is the hardest to study” “no it’s mine”
just sheer foolishness
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It’s official, I am getting inducted today.
It has been a very long journey, and I am very happy to be done!
2K18, I will miss you all!
Dr. ALI P.Z. (MB;BS Ibadan).
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Remember the story of Naboth who was killed and whose vineyard Jezebel took? I decided to do some branding 😄. please retweet 🙏🏾
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there is no greater love than that which Christ hath for us, that he laid down his life for us that we may live 😌
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I know a plastic surgeon whose butt implant surgeries always fail. Yet he calls himself a badass doctor. That might be correct though 💀
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Mr Ifeoluwa Igili is a final year student of Biochemistry, University of Ibadan. He recently got an admission into Watson Institute but due to financial constraints he's unable to enroll into the institute.
This is his Go-Fund-Me account
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Body no be firewood, na Greenwood
BREAKING: Phil Foden and Mason Greenwood caught bringing girls to England team hotel and face FA disciplinary action |
@SamiMokbel81_DM
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Awo hall speakers at Jaw War 💀
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there’s consultant ward round on monday abeg
My face every time I touch a boy's earring(s) and realise they are clip-ons or magnetic and not pierced
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we were taking the online test, and my connection was on E, while others had 4g. funny enough i still finished before them, because i had an edge.
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The conductor already warned me but I didn’t listen. I gave him 1000 naira for a fifty naira fare and he got angry and started threatening to change it for me. I mean, that’s what I want nauuu!
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turns out DJ Khaled likes fresh cow milk. after ten glasses, he’s still asking for “an udder one”.
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isiewu while your wife is in labour is actually recommended for project mbappe. proper foundation for being the GOAT
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My boss’ girlfriend sneaks into the elevator to makeout with me every morning at the office. Can’t help myself even though it’s wrong on so many levels.
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men and women aren’t the same. there’s a vas deferens between them🙂
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if the organs of a healthy human were to contest an election, i wouldn’t be able to vote for kidney because it is not ballotable
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tried to post a picture of my farm on twitter but it didn’t go through because of the “no crop” feature.
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Sunday Igboho nice one
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i’d rather go iron my clothes than argue over celebrities. i have more pressing things to do 🙏🏾
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just wanted to convert an old sketch into an actual digital comic. please rt🙏🏾
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everyone knows iron man but some people don’t know Tom Hiddleston. that’s probably because he likes to stay Loki.
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Burgerz. what i love about the icon is how it represents a burger, the letter “e” and a mouth open ready to bite.
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you keep washing your bedsheets every time and when you dry them, someone steals them. it’s Edouard Mendy. he keeps clean sheets.
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i’m Zema from Nigeria, and this is my art. ❤️
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I wish I was a tree, so that when they cut me down and I grow back up, I would never miss the opportunity to whisper “yeah, I’m bark”.
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i don’t know what it feels like to have a shirt with two pockets. must be 9ice
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I wrote a song about strapless bras yesterday. I hope you like it though because it has no hook.
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i couldn’t work as an accountant until i became chartered. now, ican.
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I was angry with my sister so I got her poorly-made semovita. She started to complain, shouting that the semovita had lumps.
Lmaooooo na the koko be that now 💆🏾♂️
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this particular movie is centred around a doctor overloading a patient with so much potassium. i enjoyed it too much for someone that hates K Drama
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first thing to buy as an upcoming musician is a standing fan. that way, even if you get zero streams, you’ll still have a loyal fan base.
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Somebody asked me if I have jokes about unmarried women and frankly I have nun.
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This actually means a lot to me. I’m so happy for how far I’ve come, and how much more is in store. Happy birthday to Blumotif 🤩❤️
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I saw my friend arguing with my crush and she kicked him in the balls.
I meant to defend her initially, but I had to strike her because I saw what she Didier.
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Edouard Mendy as a kid once defecated on his bed but the sheets were still clean. what a man
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I roasted one plantain that is as big as my house. Relax, it’s hyper-bole
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i really wish i could reply everyone individually but i’ll probably never finish. big thank you to everyone who took time out to wish me. God’s blessings ❤️
It’s official, I am getting inducted today.
It has been a very long journey, and I am very happy to be done!
2K18, I will miss you all!
Dr. ALI P.Z. (MB;BS Ibadan).
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This babe one time reached out to my guy to ink her breasts but she couldn’t afford his rates. He then said he would suck her titties and he would tattoo them for free. I know it’s wrong, but it’s tit for tat.
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carried a baby today, he opened his eyes, saw me and wailed till someone else carried him.
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I went to my friend’s place to get some movies and chill a little. The sister made food for me but she used rotten tomatoes. Na because say she no rate me sha
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Biden - 264
Trump - 214
Nigerian government - 419
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once again, Reddington hospital is accepting casualties and treating them for free! pass it on!
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@badboymelv
@TheEuropeanLad
@VI_nl
he has only taken one player. and he wants the second. it’s not like he’s ripping the whole team apart
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i know a neurosurgeon that’s good at his craft. my guy dey always burst brain steady
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Boaz was definitely a wicked man before he met his wife, because he was clearly ruthless
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Look at that new FiyinAtinmo logo text. Na me run am 🧏🏾♂️
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once again, i am a brand identity and ui ux designer, pretty creative, fun to work with and hardworking. include me in your projects please 🙏🏾
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good morning everyone. BuyABH is a fictional idea of mine, an online platform for medical students who live in ABH to buy and sell stuff easily. i designed the ui of the platform, using adobe xd and it came out like this 🙈. please help rt
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whenever i talk about my woman, i use my bass voice. now i’m wondering why people know about us because i kept it low-key
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na ring them dey use find engagement, no be cap o
The Johnsons beats Aki and Paw Paw when it comes to being funny, idc.
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the pride of a hen is her eggs. if you break one, you’ve shattered her eggo
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sorry but i couldn’t help it 😂😂. Check out the Sapa app design today, made by me with Figma.
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study advanced dissing and become a rapper because why settle for mere dissing?
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I just can’t seem to urinate but at the same time, I’m not bothered.
Inner piss.
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this thing has lasted too long. lives are on pause, people are getting disinterested and the mental health of many people are endangered. we students need to go back to school. please,
#EndASUUStrike
now.
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so i made this app design, IBConnect 😂. it’s fictional though but i don’t mind if we can make this happen.
you know how people complain that ibadan people know each other too much and the social circle is small?
what if there’s an app to connect people, specifically for ibadan people?
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8 got tired and decided to lie down. now 8 is living forever because it’s infinity
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i’m considering moving to senegal, but i won’t tweet jokes while i’m there. that’s because they’ll always seem dakar than they really are.
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i think the hallmark of adulthood is not money or secondary sexual characteristics. not even critical thinking. but the complete formation of an identity, not relying or living life based on people’s opinions or standards, and making decisions for oneself.
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it should be passed into nigerian law that all politicians must never send their kids abroad to study. because this disregard for us is excessive. eight months at home ffs
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you remember that dragon Lai Mohammed said was swallowing money? they didn’t give the dragon its cut so it’s very angry rn. that’s why it’s spitting fire everywhere
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wow see how social media just killed 11 people in Chibok
#SayNoToSocialMediaBill
11 killed as Boko Haram levels village to ashes in Chibok, Borno
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I’m trying to cook this vegetable but before that, who wants to buy a wheelchair?
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clean yeah? na me design am. 🧏🏾♂️
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Oya now, Rotten Tomatoes.
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random nigerian girl: i’ve never had an orgasm
6000 nigerian men in the comment section: “ah let me show you 😋” “you’ve been doing it wrong 😉” “am here for you”
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“all this blockchain talk has made me realise that i would still have been chained to you, if you hadn’t blocked me. gender wars left and right, but i’m at war with myself for letting you go. you don’t have to reply but i just have to tell you that i still miss you”
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