Time Machine: “Enter date and time.” Me: The day I discovered “I Will Follow You into the Dark” on Limewire.

Jess falling asleep: “do you hope I have good dreams yes or no?” @jess_stouffer18

Didn’t eat any pumpkin pie today what thE FUCK

Nothing like a bologna sandwich and a bottle of wine

Let’s get… @MotionCityMusic

OKAY 👏🏻 WHICH 👏🏻 MOTHER 👏🏻 FUCKING 👏🏻 ONE 👏🏻 THO @tacobell

🚨Our brand new single “Bitter” and the official music video are live everywhere today! We’re beyond stoked for you to finally hear it. Stream it, watch it, share it, and crank it as loud as you can! Available on all major streaming apps! #metalcore

Astigmatism***

Lamar Jackson is short for Labubu Marlboro Jackson

Went to the eye doctor for the first time ever today and he said I have autism 🤓

Forever cursed with opening the variety pack on the side of the bad flavor

Imagine all the hot dogs or whatever John Lennon said @sheetz

Ozzy Osbourne 1948 Ozzy Osdied 2025

4️⃣ FANTASTIC FOUR GIVEAWAY 4️⃣ to win the full set dropping friday retweet & like this post then comment #FantasticFour 3 winners announced july 25th 🔥

I got guns in my head, but don’t call me a gun head. Spirits in my head, but don’t call me a spirit head.

here comes honey labubu

Want a chance at $50 Free Slot Play?! For a chance to be today's one lucky winner: ✅ Follow @WinBigRivers ❤️ Like 🔁 Retweet Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-Gambler.

🚨 GIVEAWAY TIME 🚨 Win this exclusive Angry Orchard LED sign and let your decor be as crisp as your cider 🍺 How to enter: 1. Follow us! 2. Repost this post 3. Reply with your go-to Angry Orchard flavor Winner announced TOMORROW at 12PM ET. #Giveaway

Wasn’t gonna drink tonight but I’m missing that yorkie that my town facebook page has been looking for like a mf

Everyone in my contacts named Jim is a giant fuck ass

Gonna wait til tomorrow morning to get gas before work my innie is gonna haaaaate me