Zach Schwartz
@zachzachzach
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Host /producer | wine and NBA | Former: @wave @yahoosports @NFL @ringer | Seahawks & ASU & Liverpool & some F1
MEMES BLVD
Joined May 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Friends that are Patriots fans ... do not watch this
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Bought flowers to bring to staples center. When the florist saw that I wanted purple and yellow she asked, “for Kobe?” I nodded. When she finished I asked what I owed her. she shook her head, handed me the flowers and said “it’s LA”. I almost cried. LAs love for Kobe is powerful
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Kids don’t know the pain of destroying your family computer for a low quality version of Nellyville
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You guys this is the person who helped me. Pls forward the kindness to her
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Trump: *spends 4 years talking shit about John McCain*
Arizona:
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Chris Paul: asked to be traded
Anthony Davis: asked to be traded
Zion: rumored to be unhappy already
New Orleans has been in the bottom 10 in attendance for the last decade. Stars don’t stay there. Maybe move the Pelicans to Seattle.
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Someone I know just sent this to me. A dude dropped this cameo in their company all hands slack to quit
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NBA really needs to bring back the Where Amazing Happens ads
(🔊 on)
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@hugoa_tech
@FabianArdaya
It was a florist
@vons
. I don’t want her to be in trouble for what she did.
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Joe Rogan got Covid and decided to take Ivermectin Jfc Stop taking horse dewormer and get vaccinated
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The Chargers doctor before this one was also a huge problem.
-2 DUIs
-raided by DEA for writing himself 108 prescriptions
-malpractice for severing a patients artery
-malpractice lawsuits for multiple career ending misdiagnoses
-loses surgery license in 2013.
The Chargers’ team doctor accidentally punctured his own quarterback Tyrod Taylor’s lung just before kickoff Sunday while trying to administer a pain-killing injection to the quarterback’s cracked ribs, league and team sources told ESPN.
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Brother I put that amount on in one vacation
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Wild that the Warriors didn't go with these as their city uniforms
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Snoop yelled “ooooo lord” after Nate got KOd.
ESPN GET THIS MAN IN THE MNF BOOTH
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In honor of March madness here’s a picture of me grinning with joy as we got bounced from the NIT and I could go have a spring break 😂
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My therapist: Shaquille Oatmeal isn’t real. He can’t hurt you.
Shaquille Oatmeal:
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So today I tried Dan Campbell’s coffee regiment. 2 venti iced coffees with 2 espresso shots in each. It didn’t go well
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Enes outside LeBrons house trying to get a 10 day
The Rockets are waiving Enes Freedom, source tells ESPN.
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"Lakers open the second half starting newly signed Cephen Sturry"
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@amfoster07
This was earlier in the afternoon. When I was leaving more Lakers fans were arriving.
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Warriors twitter nicknaming Jonathan Kuminga “Kum Bucket” is fucking wild
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Texans: *get rid of Clowney, Hopkins, & Watt*
Deshaun Watson: will you pls trade me?
Bob McNair and the Texans:
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“Hey Kawhi, playoffs are crazy. Maybe we should meet up and talk this week?”
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A guide to the NFC West
Pete Carroll owns Kyle Shanahan
Kyle Shanahan owns Sean McVay
Sean McVay owns Pete Carroll
Kliff Kingsbury owns Kliff Kingsbury
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Daft Punk: we are breaking up
Me, delusional: can’t have a reunion show at Coachella if you don’t break up first. Makes sense.
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Quay Walker got ejected twice this year. BOTH times for shoving staff on the opposing team. This was the first one vs the Bills
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NBA wine 🍷 🏀
-LeBron had a $150 bottle of Chardonnay with lunch. The bottle is essentially impossible to buy so it could be more $.
Kuz- With two bottles that are $680+ total. Letting that new contract BREATHE
Want a cheap comp of this? (CONT)
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How Aaron Rodgers thought the last dance would go vs how it went
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Can't decide if Bob Costas is dressed like an eccentric hit man or Carmen San Diego's Estranged brother
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Pelicans: There is no offer you can make us for Anthony Davis.
Lakers:
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me, a Jewish Lakers fan
The Lakers and Mavericks are among the teams Brooklyn is expected to engage in Kyrie Irving trade talks as next Thursday's 3 PM ET trade deadline approaches, league sources say.
More NBA from me:
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Wore a
@hasanthehun
t shirt to get coffee and donuts. The dude working saw the shirt, comped my order and said he loved the streams.
Socialism babyyyyy ❤️
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Bill Belichick post loss zoom press conference, I’m fuckin dying 😂😂
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Someone said Giannis is just Wesley Johnson + Muscle Milk
wildly disrespectful but equally funny
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Me absolutely zooted at 2am watching my pizza bagels in the microwave
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With the gas shortages it’s important we recognize these two visionaries
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Los Angeles: The only place where I can see John Wick 3 at 2pm on a Saturday and find myself sitting next to Zlatan
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Me showing up to dinner with my family after making $9 on stonks
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Kyrie is just Kanye w a layup package
A Rolling Stone Review: “venomously antisemitic” noting that the book included commentary that “many famous high-ranking Jews” have “admitted” to “worship[ing] Satan or Lucifer.”
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Mark Jackson saying Mike or Kobe wouldn’t have helped CP3 up ....... get this dude off my fuckingg tv
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Lifelong Clippers fans are taking this with an eerie level of calm. They saw the smoke entering the cabin two games ago and have experienced too much pain to not see it.
New age Clippers fans (lob city era and on) are handling this like they lost the Larry O’Brien tonight.
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Lol @ the ivermectin hogs that think their mean words matter. Bruh I’ve been making memes on here for a decade. You smooth brains aint shit.
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10 years ago today audiences were first introduced to Heath Ledger's version of The Joker. It is believed that this interview of Tom Waits helped Ledger land on the sound and voice of the character.
#TheDarkKnight
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You get 10 million dollars but you have to eat EVERY meal in an Applebees for the rest of your life.
Do you take the deal?
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Jason Whitlock is and always has been a piece of shit
Fox guest credits Tyre Nichols' death to "young Black men and their inability to treat each other in a humane way."
He then compares the Memphis police chief to a single mother, blames her for the "chaos, disunity + violence that we see in a lot of cities run by single mothers."
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What do you think set off this clipper on clipper violence last night 😂
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Daniel Cormier just said “Jake Paul is pointing at me. He better knock that off. I’ll slap that shit out of him. I don’t play those games.”
😂😂😂😭
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Teams hiring and firing the same seven mediocre coaches
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Tyreek Hill making THIS tiktok is some of the least self aware shit I’ve ever seen
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@Lakers
@JeanieBuss
you might want to hurry tf up with this Kyrie trade. Steve Ballmer, Jerry West, and the clippers are circling
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I think about this fb post at least once a month
“don’t worry about the logo he did that dunk too” 😂😭
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@GQMagazine
@Max33Verstappen
You gave man of the year to a man child who throws temper tantrums, refused to kneel with other drivers in solidarity against racism and got gifted his first title. This is lame.
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Rondo looks like he’s about to slap the shit Kawhi for that shot 😂😂
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Which button on this donda machine adds Jay Z and Cudi back
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Knicks fans tried to give the Knicks a standing ovation for this season.
As soon as it started Trae pulled from 3 and took a bow. I love how evil this man is rn😂
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It appears that Chris Mortensen is subtweeting
@IanRapport
with 🐀’s for snaking
@AdamSchefter
’s tweets
[A THREAD]
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Years ago
@LaJethroJenkins
started calling yeezys “Air MAGAs”
Look at what one of the capitol clowns was wearing 😂😂
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Today I said goodbye to my dog Theo. He was this wonderful little weirdo that I desperately wish I could lean on for a smile right now. Here’s a video of him that I hope helps make this scary week better for you.
If you’ve got a funny video of your animal please reply with it❤️
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Ok so this is an odd request but can anyone on here help me find this actor from the famous Sportsmanship basketball ad
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Im still in shock at this news. Thank you for everything you did for this city. You meant the world to Los Angeles. Thank you 24. Forever a fan.
RIP KOBE💔
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His watch is done. Today I said farewell to my dog of 15 years. Rest easy Becker ❤️
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In Italy, this wonderful man took to his balcony to play John Lennon's 'Imagine' for his quarantined neighbors ❤️
(via IG/italysegreta)
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Brother, they are 70+. They are supposed to be retired. I fuckin wish politics had this same problem.
Bill Belichick, 71, got one interview in the latest hiring cycle. Pete Carroll, 72, got none. Multiple former coaches have been relegated to "assistant head coach" status. Does the NFL have an age discrimination issue?
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