Yumna
@yumnna
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محمد
• 607124 Tweets
namjoon
• 381772 Tweets
メイドの日
• 218883 Tweets
WIN NESPRESSO SUMMER
• 142634 Tweets
メイドさん
• 89411 Tweets
علي النبي
• 78968 Tweets
メイド服
• 69014 Tweets
#ArvindKejriwal
• 57186 Tweets
अरविंद केजरीवाल
• 53123 Tweets
太陽フレア
• 39433 Tweets
Hayırlı Cumalar
• 39045 Tweets
#يوم_الجمعه
• 37910 Tweets
通信障害
• 33488 Tweets
#それスノ
• 31230 Tweets
चुनाव प्रचार
• 29915 Tweets
オーロラ
• 28374 Tweets
ポケミク
• 28190 Tweets
Lunin
• 20647 Tweets
マスターソード
• 18081 Tweets
アフターエポックス
• 13177 Tweets
天保江戸
• 12835 Tweets
group Debut Tour
• 10339 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
You know what's easier than a war
@narendramodi
?? DHANDLI.
Try it next time, we do it every election.
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We didn’t but if you guys need any tips to beat NZ or Eng do let us know
No Pakistan, you didn't deserve to be in the knockouts in place of this NZ team.
#CWC19Final
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When Indian comedians need Pakistani humour to make a comeback on Twitter.
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Bakhtawar realizing
@AribaShahid
has more clout than her & the only thing irrelevant was her comment 🌝
I seem to have upset some people with this comment. I stand by it. Need to check their own elitist ignorance if they think their opinions somehow outweigh the votes of 90,000 people that elected
@BBhuttoZardari
as their MNA for the past four years 🙂.
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I am pretty sure Bollywood discovered "Nach Punjaban" through our memes.
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Throwback🔙 to the time my child celebrated his first birthday under the mulberry tree in Hunza. The apricot cake is from the Glacier breeze restaurant.
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Appalled by the high level of patriotism today.
Angry Indian lady: We don’t want surgical strike, we want Lahore.
Pakistanis on Twitter: It’s all yours, so is the Lahore Qalandars, the smog, the minaar & the Lahori accent.
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My greatest fear came true. Taking a loved one to a hospital for a medical emergency. My husband who is in his thirties suffered from a stroke.
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My son was really worried today. He told
me that he did something kind today & teacher gave him a hug. Then he whispered in my ear “I think she wants to marry me.” 🤣🤣
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WTF is Ali Noor’s Instagram story. Dear Nano, I harassed a girl but BIY.
Can’t believe this guy was my teen idol. 🗑
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Saw a school trip at McDonald’s today & it was a bit sad. Our school trips would go to Taxila, Margalla hill or Khewra mine.
These places aren’t well maintained but gave kids a chance to explore history, nature & natural resources. What does Karachi has to offer? Cheese burgers?
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Took my son to a birthday party & he decided to take a dump (as usual).
I was changing his diaper when a maid shockingly asked me, where is his Aya & I was like I AM HIS AYA, DRIVER, COOK and everything.😭😭
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Don’t want to to offend anyone with my tweet but it’s still AC weather in Karachi.
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A few years ago when I decided to switch from architecture to branding & design. I looked up to a studio based in New york. I used to follow their work.
A few days ago they contacted me and told me they are coming to Karachi & would love to hang out.
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Glorious day today. Marched with my son in Karachi, while my niece marched in Islamabad.
Super proud of my mother too 🙌🏼🙌🏼
#AuratMarch
#HappyInternationalWomensDay
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Trying to be strong for my family. My son who is only two, doesn’t understand why Baba went in an ambulance & told me he doesn’t like hospital.
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The Prince that was promised.
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My great, great grandfather Adam ate the forbidden fruit & here we are
But on a diff note, never really understood great, great grandfather Hazrat Ali’s famous saying ‘Beware of the mischief of those you have done favours for’ until recently. Now I do.
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My brother’s twitter account is atrocious. Most of his tweets are anti military. He has retweeted shit about uncles we have known.
Have some shame, the poor guy gave you a fucking carpet on your wedding.
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Just told my employer to fuck off & keep the 4 months salary as a donation. 😰
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When you finally realise that you were the toxic person in a relationship 🤷🏻♀️
Guys maybe it's not Pakistan cricket team thats the problem. Maybe it's the team that Pakistani people choose to support that becomes a problem. The problem is us
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Fucking declare an environmental emergency in Lahore already. Delhi has enforced strict restrictions on the use of private cars for the month of November.
Lung cancer wouldn’t give a shit which political party was responsible for the smog.
#LahoreSmog
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Told my 3 year old, I can’t play with him because I am fasting & I have a headache.
He gave me ice cream & said “mama if you eat it, fasting will go away”.
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Shahid Afridi not giving a fuck about Gautam Gambhir's existence is every Pakistani right now.
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Everyone should hire
@palwashaminhas
for their wedding. She’s the loveliest.
@RizwanPehelwan
knows the subtle art of telling the guests to F off from stage after taking a photograph & he’s so polite that you can’t hold it against him.
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200 million people in Pakistan 😰😰😰
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Meme game so strong, that "Pawri horahi" hai got featured in a recent Bollywood movie.
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Twitter humor history.
2009 - Pure gold sarcasm
2010 - Slapstick
2011 - Cheesy
2012 - Cheap
2013 - Faisalabadi juggtein
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Just realized the song, "Liaquat Ali ko goli lagi. Saari duniya ronay lagi. Rotay rotay bhook lagi. Khalo beta moom phali" my classmates used to sing was a reference to the assassination of the first Prime minster. What sort of morbid shit we were exposed to as children?
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My son just ate the entire hot n spicy roll paratha.
Is it safe to say that’s he is a true Karachiite now?
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My Pakistani-Punjabi cousin is getting married to a South Indian boy next month.
It has been pure comedy so far. Hope everything goes smoothly 🤲🏻🤲🏻
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Great insight Imam but your uncle could still hit sixes despite being nicknamed after carbs, “Alu”.
Imam Ul Haq said, "we've to eat more protein instead of carbs to start hitting some sixes".
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There’s a guy threatening my friend on Twitter, tagging her employer & calling her unprofessional.
I really want to tell him, her brother owns the company, stop wasting your time. (but that’s not fun right?) 🤷🏻♀️
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I am really excited & a little nervous too because I switched late & I will always have imposter syndrome. But it would always mean a lot because I am mostly self-taught. These people are one of the best in the industry.
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"I am a Fashion Designer". Standard reply of every housewife with a rich husband.
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My son took the Halloween costume assignment way too seriously. Couldn’t decide between Super Mario & Among Us so kind of did both 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
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Gave my son a horrible haircut during quarantine. To restore the balance in the toddler universe, he decided to give me one too.
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Such a waste. Mango Shezan is the best & I haven’t found these bottles in Karachi 🙎🏻♀️
MashAllah a momentous day in the history of Islam, as these two Pakistani clerics save the faith by breaking bottles of Shezan mango juice. What a glorious victory for Muslims the world over.
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Who do kids like to tweet about their GPA? Twitter isn’t an admission office. Nobody asked for your transcript. 🤷🏻♀️
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Indian media keeps asking Kangana Ranaut about her opinion on the attacks because of her expertise in national security matters. Should consider appointing her as the minister of defence.
I am sure she will do a great job.
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I am in this Facebook Mommy group & they had their first awards. The award (trophy) is swankier than the Lux style award. 😱😱
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Have you ever been invited for breakfast & they give you weetabix?
Worst day of my life 🤢
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Bhut mazza araha hai, dollar is 147 kal 200 hojaye ga.
Pakistan the next asian tiger.
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Once you start watching trash-reality shows it's very difficult to switch back to watching meaningful content.
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Brown culture is moms visiting a new city and go for crockery shopping.
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Indians on Twitter
Yesterday: Masterstroke by Modi, wipe Pakistan from the face of the earth, Jai Hind.
Today: War is young men dying and old men talking.
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Are you even a Potterhead, if you’re not dressing up your child as Harry Potter?
P.S He broke his actual glasses.
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Food would still be better than Isb Monal.
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People in Karachi are coming up with such creative names for their restaurants.
Exhibit A
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Curious if he’s using a paid VPN or the free one.
I am alarmed, shocked & deeply disturbed over the current situation in the country arising out of the arrest & manhandling of the former PM Imran Khan. The loss of human lives as an aftermath is heart-wrenching, regrettable, unfortunate & highly condemnable.
Protest is a…
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Indians who were cracking jokes like, Pakistanis want
#Abhinandhan
to teach them some more words in English are finding, Trevor Noah’s trolling of Indian Army racist.
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Adult grown-up men, who ask questions like, so you can't fast during periods?
How on earth did you pass your O' Level Islamiat?
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It’s unfortunate that I have my entire family on Twitter now. Sometimes I am trying to be funny & change the facts. One of them will immediately reply, “Nahi Yumna, aesay nahi yeh toh aesay tha, don’t lie”. 🥵🥵🥵
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It’s fucking rude to comment on a newborn baby. If you don’t have anything nice to say just shut the fuck up.
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Mazaris are in good form today. 👏
Why don't you mansplain from the bathroom? If you weren't embarrassed by PM House ke bathroom ka mahaaz, why is this embarrassing to you?
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Mad respect for married friends in their thirties & waiting for the right time to have a child.
Gave birth to *one* child in my twenties & I am DED.
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@HaiderKAbbasi
50,000 people in the stadium & I am pretty sure I was the only one supporting Islamabad 😭😭
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Everyone who told me in my twenties, that they would never get married are married now.
90% of the people who hated kids, have kids now. 🤷🏻♀️
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Duolingo has an English test that is currently accepted by 2000 institutions. The cost of the test is $49. Really hope this test replaces IELTS, TOEFL & PTE.
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I am all for banning Bollywood movies but why the fuck, Teefa in Trouble is playing again in the theatres.
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