knife-wielding rabbit
@xLightsOutx
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autumn | CRPS endurer | sXe | i don't read most DMs | art: @lalalycheeee | priv: @missilia_amori
36. she/her. kansas.
Joined August 2012
i am pleased to inform you that it is love and cherish halo time
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wtf she bit a hole in the bottom of her tunnel and then stuck her arm through it
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i love you, mom. i wish i could hug you one more time. so, so badly. i wish we'd had a chance to truly repair our relationship. if only you'd been gifted more time. it's all so unfair.
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i wish my relationship with my mom hadn't been so complex and tumultuous. it makes me feel stupid and embarrassed to miss her so much when she treated me really, really badly. like in ways i could never fathom treating another human. but i still loved her. i still miss her.
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cried and cried and cried yesterday, all the way until i fell asleep. it was a very hard day. but it felt cathartic to just mourn, to let myself grieve. i woke up feeling better.
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i wish i could do everything over again. i wish i had went to the hospital even just one more time. i wish i'd gone there a thousand more times. i wish i'd just stayed there the entire three months and never left.
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it's been 19 years and i still feel this grotesque hole rotted into my heart from losing my mom. i feel heartsick over it, literally sick to my heart, because every single time i wake up, every day for the rest of my life, she will be gone.
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whispered stupid inside jokes that we had. eventually her words slowed, and then she stopped talking all together, and then suddenly i was standing in the hospital lobby and a nurse was saying that i wasn't allowed back up to the room because she was dead. i woke up.
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she whispered, "do you remember that time none of us could sleep so we went to mcdonald's at 3am and got mad because they didn't start serving breakfast until 4?" and i burst out laughing, saying, "THAT'S all you were trying to tell me??" i stayed there for hours as she
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last night i had a dream that my mom was still alive. but it was during the time that she was dying in the hospital. she was so sick that she couldn't speak above a quiet whisper. i lied down on her hospital bed with my face pressed against hers so i was close enough to hear her.
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NEW PAINTING IS UP!!!! GO LIKE IT OR ELSE NO MORE HALO PHOTOS EVER THIS IS MY ART ACCOUNT: @lalalycheeee
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oh my fucking god. it's a silly little dream of mine to see them in GA and it's happening
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NEW PAINTING IS UP!!!! GO LIKE IT OR ELSE NO MORE HALO PHOTOS EVER THIS IS MY ART ACCOUNT: @lalalycheeee
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when is it going to finally be my turn to find a rich beautiful asexual boyfriend with long hair who doesn't care that i'm insane
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