tash:)
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🇰🇪ur gf’s favourite tweep💗media page: @kingtuviii 🌸 @nexttolewys stan acc
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Pinned Tweet
I am funny on here <3
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Idc if ur parents don't have an issue with it, I'm not entering somebody else's parents' bedroom😭
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Kikuyus are always like “tulienda shagz asubuhi tuka rudi jioni”excuse me what???😭
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I would hurry home, speak to no one and just lock my bedroom door
I finally got a butter chicken pizza from this indain/Italian restaurant up the street. I'm talkin heaven!
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Oraimo will never understand what they did for us broke people🙏🏾
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Having a Luhya dad is not for the weak. Mnaeza fika home 11pm from a restaurant, alafu usikie “nani anapika ugali?”🙃
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Primary school was so unreal, we weren’t allowed to speak Kiswahili in literal Kenya😭
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Kenyans saying “finna” is so funny to me😭wym “we finna cook githeri”😭
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As a woman in an African household, it is important that the family believes you know how to do absolutely NOTHING😭
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“Locking eyes with my soulmate in town” na kumbe anakumark uibiwe
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Not knowing Kiswahili as a Kenyan is a serious character flaw actually
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One day we’ll just admit that Pizza Inn pizza, is actually way better than those expensive ones
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White washed Kenyan kids with rich parents gotta be the worst genre of African
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An icon!
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In church and people are talking abt their experiences with God and I’m just thinking: “are u sure that’s not schizophrenia?”😭cos wdym “Mungu ananichapanga viboko”
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Chapati, kama zimekatwa into triangles, unaeza jipata umemaliza 20 bila wasi wasi
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The way this has me dying each time😭
Quote this tweet with a funny meme or video that makes you laugh when you’re sad.
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Very many of you are suffering from alcoholism in the name of sherehe! 🫵🏾
Unpopular opinion about Alcohol that would get you in this position?
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Mimi nataka tu matatu enye route ni kutoka Railways hadi Koja😭
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Gave some street kids muffins and one said “Mungu akubariki upate mimba”😭
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Older generations literally hate us cos tumekataa kuteseka😭please💀
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That politicians shouldn’t be allowed to use private institutions. They should only be allowed to use public hospitals, schools, transport etc.
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Me randomly at any time: “MALI NI NYINGI NYUMBANI, KIPI KIMEKUKIMBIZA?”
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Mkue tu law abiding citizens, tuko hapa na ChatGPT tukisaidia mawakili kuiba exam😭😭😭🙏🏾
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Red shoes, especially paired with an all red outfit. Like I physically hate it.
What is your pettiest fashion gripe? I don't mean something super serious and important. Give me PETTY.
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As a middle child, it is ur duty to be rebellious and lead ur siblings to freedom
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How do people go on solo dates?😭how do u entertain urself? Y’all just sit and think or…
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Bf yako, hana pesa ya maua but ananunua mzinga kila siku😭okay!
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Honestly, mi naona wanaume ndio wako equipped na nguvu ya kuosha sufuria
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I used to watch Varshita and think she was insane, but she was literally just a girl😔
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Seeing your agemates with ugali on their plates at a function is crazy😭 act your age and eat rice!
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We’re oddly calm for a country, that’s about to get one of the worst financial bills in history
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Everyone talks about "am" and "I'm," but the real villain is ",,," instead of "..."😭
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When I finally reach Westlands, where wearing tiny clothes is not illegal:
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You’ll just be chilling and BBC will drop a documentary to remind u, u live in a 3rd world country
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We must accept that the Bible was written by human beings, not God
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Turns out when u study, u actually know the answers in the exam. Who would’ve thought?
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Me looking through those “at least my ex” slideshows😭people are just dating to date
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If u drink the coffee flavoured Dairy Fresh, najua wewe ni mchawi
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Everyone’s always talking abt getting lost in Sarit, but House of Leather is a literal maze???😭
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Chad Kirubi will casually record a crime in the background of his videos
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The way I have a fear of rejection, walai siezi kua makanga😭
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“Don’t do like that, I’m too small dada. Seduce me like what a hell” what was bro saying?😭😭
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As an African, you don’t get chill parents, you MAKE chill parents
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Shekhinah is so underrated. Like…Suited is one of the best songs ever made.
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“Grant them journey mercies” is a banger
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One day, we’ll have a serious conversation abt the severe repercussions to children’s mental health, that were caused by KCPE and KCSE
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hii kuishi pekee yako ni ngumu, nakula Weetabix na apple, breakfast, lunch na supper😭
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His love language is physical touch but haezi kushika mkono in public🤣
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“My name is Natasha, I’ve been Apple Minute Maid free for a week now”
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The man should love the woman more❤️good day😊
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Every man posting a song from that Drake album, is a certified baddie
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I fear my inability to kiss ass, is gonna be my downfall in this life
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Ubaya yangu ni juice ikiwa kwa fridge, lazima nimalize yote ndio niendele na maisha
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I told my friend “Chelsea, come on now” this girl asks me “oh, u watch football now?”😭😭😭
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The bravery it takes to sit sideways kwa bodaboda, is from God Himself😭
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If u find me without jewellery, just give me a hug, I’m clearly going through sth to walk around uncovered😭
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matatus will endanger your life, while playing one of the best playlists you've ever heard
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That new Sauti Sol, Lil Mama😭is not the Sauti Sol I know and love
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People will be mad😭houses will combust💀but I truly don’t believe you look good for only yourself. “Looking good” stems out of comparison and it’s okay to admit it😭
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This video was really informative abt this shenanigans.
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Watu wa Rongai tunashangaa, Nairobi mlichagua nani huyu akue governor
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If Gabzy passes me by in the street, I unfortunately wouldn’t know😭🙏🏾
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Not taking any music opinion from anyone with Drake as their top artist😭
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I really don’t think crop tops should be causing the commotion they cause in this country
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All the problems would have gone away, if she had just died
"Characters that don't deserve the hate" fuck that give me characters that deserve to be hated on for the rest of time
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I don’t think I’ll ever be mature enough to choose ugali over rice
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Nairobi is so funny, cos unashangaa mbona mtu hajakua online, kumbe amelala police station😭
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Following men on Twitter is so bad😭I keep learning about football against my will
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