andre
@warmmoistpizza
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![Headcount[dot]Guru](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/666095081787539456/sJ5Qqosb.png)
Pinned Tweet
by age 26 you should have fumbled your only chance at true happiness like 6 times
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if i had a gf i would ask her for permission to like a girl's tweets
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deleted all dating apps and embraced the idea of dying alone
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babe you'd tell me if u were sharing esoteric knowledge with other people right
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hey i see you've been posting nothing but bangers how depressed are u rn
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i'm not arguing with a weird girl whatever u say god's most perfect creation
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sorry i ghosted u i singlehandedly decided that u definitely hate me
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i have decided to no longer be weird and off-putting. instead i will now be deranged and unsettling
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i didn't have a praise kink until hot girls started liking my tweets
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[desperate for pussy voice]: h̴͇͈̝͉̺͛̊̀́̿̾̕͜s̸̨͎̯̣͚̺͖͇̟̬͓̠̪̈̎͗̆̓̀̏͜͝j̸̛̥̥̦̣̱̞̯̯̙̓̏́̓̏̍̽͌̀͊̐̈́̓̕͜͝š̷̥͇̘͓̪̜̈͑̏͊̾̀͜͜͜͠ͅj̴̛̩͖̜̩̞̘̇̈́́ḑ̷̧̰͓͚̭͙̜̓j̴̨̫̲̖́̋̀̇̓̿̉̓̌̈́̈́͊͒̈́̓͐̕͜h̶̨̧̰̻̼̥͉̮͂̃̏̐̃̅̇͗̽̊̃̐ͅf̷̳̭͙͚̙͔̄̐͐̌̇h̶͖̖͙̩̐͊̌̾̈́
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first date idea we deal with ur struggles in a healthy and appropriate manner and then do cocaine
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at a birthday party i don't wanna be here i'm gonna put a bomb in the bathroom
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i don't know what i did to deserve the consequences of my actions
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i'd go to hooters if they replaced the girls with owls like the name implies
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microdosing being a psychopath by just replying to tweets and not liking them
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my tweets don't flop it's all part of a worldwide conspiracy to keep me down
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hey do u wanna marry me and have a wonderful life together for the bit
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if you're my friend i'd take a bullet for u if you're not i'd also take a bullet for u moral of the story is will someone please just shoot me
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endearing rubber chicken daughter or drugged out of his mind parrot son
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bro that sort of behavior will not get u into the kingdom of heaven
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pussy from a girl that treats her plants like they're her children
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why do people say "your guess is as good as mine" like no my guesses are superior to yours in every way fuck you
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hey would u mind filling out this survey regarding why u hate me
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if i had a wife i'd work 8 jobs so she could not work but still spend $70 on starbucks everyday
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i'm now a mustache guy and if u knew my lore u would find it hilarious
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fuck marrying a nice girl i'm marrying a hairdresser so i can get those scalp massages everyday
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I ACED THAT BITCH CAN I GET SOME FUCKIN W'S IN THE CHAT
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👏 how 👏 many 👏 shrimps 👏 do 👏 u 👏 have 👏 to 👏 eat 👏 before 👏 u 👏 make 👏 ur 👏 skin 👏 turn 👏 pink 👏
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ok so smoking weed didn't fix ur problems but have u tried cocaine
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if u love something don't set it free instead chain yourself to it and make ur entire mental health depend on it
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