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andre Profile
andre

@warmmoistpizza

Followers
973
Following
498
Media
283
Statuses
3,297

thank u very cool

26 // Law maj.
Joined July 2022
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
4 months
by age 26 you should have fumbled your only chance at true happiness like 6 times
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
u relapsed on yearning again didn't u
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
5 months
i can't kill myself yet i can get so much weirder
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
the sluttiest thing a girl can do is be weird
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
if i had a gf i would ask her for permission to like a girl's tweets
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
6 months
yeah bro i'm fine why do u ask
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
(flirting) what a fucked up little creature u are
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
ur honor the substances were actually abusing me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
4 months
@Executivejeff1 i'm still 26 for a few more months, i'll get there
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
no one gaslights me like me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
7 months
deleted all dating apps and embraced the idea of dying alone
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
my horny ass could not have a doppelganger
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
2 years
do u wanna come over and i'll read my tweets to u
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
babe you'd tell me if u were sharing esoteric knowledge with other people right
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
hey i see you've been posting nothing but bangers how depressed are u rn
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
can i come over and give u a quest
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
u seem weird let's get married
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
damn shawty you're kinda low key whimsical
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
ur parents are paying me to like ur tweets btw
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
i'm not arguing with a weird girl whatever u say god's most perfect creation
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
sorry i ghosted u i singlehandedly decided that u definitely hate me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
radiohead boy / deftones girl
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
no i can't take a hint i'm fucking stupid
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
2 years
@crim_tweets_ @phattsie brother you horny as shit
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i am back and more weird and off putting than ever
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
8 months
i tweet so my children won't have to
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
2 months
i have decided to no longer be weird and off-putting. instead i will now be deranged and unsettling
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i didn't have a praise kink until hot girls started liking my tweets
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
sorry i blocked u i was scared for my life
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
[desperate for pussy voice]: h̴͇͈̝͉̺͛̊̀́̿̾̕͜s̸̨͎̯̣͚̺͖͇̟̬͓̠̪̈̎͗̆̓̀̏͜͝j̸̛̥̥̦̣̱̞̯̯̙̓̏́̓̏̍̽͌̀͊̐̈́̓̕͜͝š̷̥͇̘͓̪̜̈͑̏͊̾̀͜͜͜͠ͅj̴̛̩͖̜̩̞̘̇̈́́ḑ̷̧̰͓͚̭͙̜̓j̴̨̫̲̖́̋̀̇̓̿̉̓̌̈́̈́͊͒̈́̓͐̕͜h̶̨̧̰̻̼̥͉̮͂̃̏̐̃̅̇͗̽̊̃̐ͅf̷̳̭͙͚̙͔̄̐͐̌̇h̶͖̖͙̩̐͊̌̾̈́
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
why the fuck is colonel spelled that way
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
first date idea we deal with ur struggles in a healthy and appropriate manner and then do cocaine
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
can u guys watch him while i go smoke
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
misreading the vibe and licking the hand that feeds me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
this is where i tweet from
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
"do u need a receipt" no bro i need someone to love me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
that's it slut no more naps until u stop yearning
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
they should make vapes for guys
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
at a birthday party i don't wanna be here i'm gonna put a bomb in the bathroom
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
wait babe no don't leave me i can get so much worse
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i don't know what i did to deserve the consequences of my actions
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
bro did u seriously just bite off more than u can chew
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
hi i'm joe biden and uhhh uhhh uhhh welcome to jackass
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
how dare u reply to a tweet i wanted to delete
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i'd make a great heroin addict
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
i'm the breadloser in this household
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
smokin that shit that got two birds stoned
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i'd go to hooters if they replaced the girls with owls like the name implies
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
microdosing being a psychopath by just replying to tweets and not liking them
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
my horny ass could not go anywhere near that ufo
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
my tweets don't flop it's all part of a worldwide conspiracy to keep me down
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
are u taking care of ur mental health slut
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
girl dinner and it's just some guy's arm
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
hey do u wanna marry me and have a wonderful life together for the bit
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
killed myself
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
death grips? i sure hope it does
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
if you're my friend i'd take a bullet for u if you're not i'd also take a bullet for u moral of the story is will someone please just shoot me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
(flirting) i can see why ur parents are divorced
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
endearing rubber chicken daughter or drugged out of his mind parrot son
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i'm dying of too much love in my heart
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
bro that sort of behavior will not get u into the kingdom of heaven
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
why are u, as a man, not out looking for bigfoot rn
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
ur in her dms i'm 86 years deep in her digital footprint
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i'm a very holistic person i love holes
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
9 months
me n who
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
what if they made cars that also suck u off
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i need to rewatch bojack horseman about this
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
sorry for gaslighting u i didn't know it was a bad thing to do
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
bro did u seriously just bark up the wrong tree
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
sundays are for dressing like a fuccboi
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
a dating app called fumble would be perfect for me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
9 months
smells like uploveofmylife in here
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
posting arm again like a whore bc i can't sleep and am bored
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
beating the "has never showered" allegations 💪😤
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
alright nobody panic but it's my birthday
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
pussy from a girl that treats her plants like they're her children
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
*jumps in front of a subtweet aimed at u*
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
8 months
why do people say "your guess is as good as mine" like no my guesses are superior to yours in every way fuck you
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
hey would u mind filling out this survey regarding why u hate me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
my tweets don't flop they're just avant-garde and misunderstood
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
not now slut i'm spreading misinformation on the internet
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
nice grudges mind if i hold them
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
9 months
(flirting) please stay the fuck away from me
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
10 months
if that's ur girl why is she congratulating me on duolingo
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
9 months
deleting all my tweets bc u had to be there bro
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
if i had a wife i'd work 8 jobs so she could not work but still spend $70 on starbucks everyday
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
see u later nerds i got a date and she's real and we're in love
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
9 months
get in slut we're falling in love
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
i'm now a mustache guy and if u knew my lore u would find it hilarious
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
if i had a gf i'd be so nice to her we wouldn't even have sex
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
fuck marrying a nice girl i'm marrying a hairdresser so i can get those scalp massages everyday
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
4 months
I ACED THAT BITCH CAN I GET SOME FUCKIN W'S IN THE CHAT
@warmmoistpizza
andre
5 months
defending my thesis tomorrow i got this bitch
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
👏 how 👏 many 👏 shrimps 👏 do 👏 u 👏 have 👏 to 👏 eat 👏 before 👏 u 👏 make 👏 ur 👏 skin 👏 turn 👏 pink 👏
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
11 months
ok so smoking weed didn't fix ur problems but have u tried cocaine
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
i'm going to sleep nobody move til i wake up ok
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
grown ass man using snapchat
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
if u love something don't set it free instead chain yourself to it and make ur entire mental health depend on it
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@warmmoistpizza
andre
1 year
they should make gasoline cologne
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