the himbo community is accusing me of stolen valor.

i wonder how long my fly has been down.

my bff (person i exchange the most memes with) and I have taken to using the 🚬 emoji to indicate "taking long drag on cigarette" as a reaction or response.

I missed the town jubilee and now I have a headache :/.

if my name was Kate, I'd make a beat for beat biopic parody called K8 Mile.

check out this podcast bro, it's super unsettling and will make you really pissed off all the time.

hey Macarena, it's me Margaret.

maybe once my multivitamin kicks in i'll have the energy to get going.

not "sale" as in temporary price drop, but "sale" as in advertising blitz to try and move products.

changing my name to RoundBoy BigFella.

I love how people are like "marriage is for life" when it's almost never for life. it's just for whenever. no one gives a shit. it doesn't matter.

firth of July I guess

Happy Don't Participate in Mass Gathering Tomorrow Because You're Afraid of Mass Shooters Day tomorrow!.

maybe I go to bars, not because I like to drink, but because I love to piss.

no one making over a livable wage needs one. but billionaires alone could fund every advancement needed to make this country good for everyone without them missing any quality of life.

RT @RossKneeDeep: Why do billionaires need tax breaks? That's what I'm trying to figure out.

local man making big deal of minor annoyance.

for sale: crazy straw, never sucked.

maybe it's the heat AND the humidity.

I wish bort was still around. I just saw a Jeep that I know would infuriate him.