Wankpanzer Watch
@Wankpanzer
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Following
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451
Statuses
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Big cars. Often driven aggressively by men with fragile egos. Show us your #wankpanzers here
Joined July 2021
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#wankpanzers
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I saw a tweet yesterday about how an SUV was "as big as a Sherman tank", and I wasn't sure it was, so I decided to find out. The answer is "not quite. But getting there".
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The superior off-road handling of my
@LandRover
#wankpanzer
helps me get into the countryside
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My
@Porsche
#wankpanzer
is the perfect vehicle around town. It’s so easy to get into car parks
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House’s fault. No high-viz. But don’t you dare suggest letting down my
#wankpanzer
’s tyres
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Whatever this machine is, it’s working perfectly
#wankpanzer
Der Tag kann definitiv nur besser werden
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Yeah don’t worry. I’ll just walk in the road around your massive tasteless shitbox
@LandRover_UK
#wankpanzer
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Two miles of road, costing almost £1bn a mile, destroying a World Heritage site, whilst everything else in the country falls apart
BREAKING: The Stonehenge tunnel is going ahead. The Transport Secretary has granted a Development Consent Order (DCO) to construct it. A DCO previously issued for the project was quashed by the High Court in July 2021 amid concern about the environmental impact.
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Yes
Should large vehicles like SUVs be taxed at 100 times the rate of small cars?
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Here at Wankpanzer Watch, we’re shedding a tiny tear for the lives being destroyed by NOT being able to drive your overpriced shitbox in central London
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My # wankpanzer makes me look more rugged and outdoorsy
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Out and about in the
#wankpanzer
and what do I see? Is this what they call targeted advertising?
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People say cars are getting bigger and heavier. What a load of rubbish. Now where did I park the
#wankpanzer
again?
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Yes
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Fucking hell, what a crock of shit. So wearing black and listening to music is given equivalence to speeding in your
#wankpanzer
whilst looking at your phone. Shame on you
Pedestrian safety is a two-way street. What pedestrians and drivers can do to make our roadways safer
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Motornormativity in action. Paved over their front garden to illegally drive up a pedestrian dropped kerb.
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My
#wankpanzer
helps me live the life I want to live, do what I want to do, go where I want to go
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Driving my
#wankpanzer
around town helps me to feel big and important, and compensates for my tiny manhood
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I love popping to the beach. All that fresh sea air really makes you feel at one with nature
#wankpanzer
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How are you going to transport a fridge freezer if you don’t have a
#wankpanzer
? Checkmate cyclists
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I own a
#wankpanzer
because it reflects my personality. In fact, it is my entire personality
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Cars are weapons. We don’t need any that are capable of 180mph on public roads. Until that changes, this will keep happening and we’ve accepted this as an inevitable consequence
@landrover
#wankpanzer
Here's Rida Kazem showing off in his Range Rover and crashing at 110mph, killing his passenger
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Watch me prove my collection of
#wankpanzers
are the most superior form of transportation once and for all
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Did you know that
#wankpanzers
are excellent for sporting pursuits? Our favourite is Road snooker. The only rule is that you must begin your shot with a white Range Rover
@landrover
#wankpanzer
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