… you ever pooped so hard you had to take a nap afterwards? Good night.

#AwkwardMissedConnectionAd Do you like long, thick sausages? Than head on down to Hausner’s House of Meats.

#AwkwardMissedConnectionAd I miss my special friend who would clean my pipes on a daily basis. Would someone like to be my special friend? You clean my pipes, I’ll talk to your little man in the row boat.

#Change1LetterChangeAMovie The Lion, The Bitch, and the Wardrobe

#Change1LetterChangeAMovie Jeep Throat

#Change1LetterChangeAMovie Debbie Does Wallas

#AddAlcoholToMusic Keg Stand And Deliver

#AddAlcoholToMusic 🎶You make a grown man Cum In A Hot Tub🎶

#GodAsMyWitnessIThought I was drinking Virgin daiquiris! … what’syour name again?

#GodAsMyWitnessIThought I used enough lube! At least the nurses are cute…

#MillennialYoMammaJokes Yo momma so shady, Eminem is threatening intellectual property theft.

#MillennialYoMammaJokes Yo momma is so wet, she could rehydrate California and still have some left over.

#MillennialYoMammaJokes Yo momma is so fine, she could make silver shine without leaving a mark.

#BadOpeningLineToALoveSong She said, “There’s nothing wrong with a little penis,” but why did it have to be on her?

#BadOpeningLineToALoveSong Is three inches really that bad?

#BadOpeningLineToALoveSong I wish you were 18…

#BadOpeningLineToALoveSong Will you purr if I stroke your kitty?

#BadOpeningLineToALoveSong Shave it or else I won’t go down, I hate the taste of hair.

#PutChocolateInAShowOrMovie Rescue 9-1-1: Hershey, PA

#PutChocolateInAShowOrMovie 2 Girls, 1 Cup of Chocolate Mousse