❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ ◡̈
@tonyhawktruther
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I’m Neil… Care to join me? All payouts donated to FIRST Collective, an organization which provides support to homeless people in my community. Cheers x
Ohio ✈️ Louisiana ✈️ Ohio
Joined April 2013
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No matter how much Bandaid the wine glass the wine will still glass Bandaid through the wine still Bandaid the wine glass
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Imagine how good it feels to sit across the street smoking a delicious Chinese cigarette and see your ex wife pop up on one of these
A government billboard in China displays the faces and identification of individuals with low social credit, May 2023.
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Not wearing these today as they’re in the wash, please be careful out there ladies 🙏
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Imagine doing this, jacking off, then going straight into a job interview
I fantasize about having a car feast like this at least once a week 😩
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A friend brought some of these over and I drank two around 8pm.
My body completely shut down and I slept from 9pm until 10am. I slept through Sunday Mass.
How is this legal, with such innocent packaging?
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When your Chinese buddy gets into grad school
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Is the sound of freedom too loud for you?
Disgusting moment NYC commuter eats an entire LOBSTER on the subway by himself as he cracks open the crustacean with his bare hands
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Just realized this was in Germany. We have to make sure this guy becomes an artist it’s important
Museum worker hangs up his own painting hoping for a big break, gets fired instead
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It’s pretty funny that “Dua Lipa” and “dual IPA” are spelled the same. Unfortunately there’s no good way to take that into joke territory. The best you can do is just point it out.
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*walks up to you at the bar and does this at you*
What a ride.
Tom Brady has officially announced his retirement after 22 seasons in the NFL.
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Anyone else think it’s low key gay that the cups are rainbow colored?
you just arrived at the party. which cup are you grabbing😭?
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Just chugged 4 of these because I thought they were blue Gatorade. We need stricter packaging and labeling regulations
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Does anyone know if we have to don our gay apparel tomorrow
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Me: Remember Franz Ferdinand lol
30-year-old mutual: Yeah lol
130-year old mutual: Yeah lol
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You should be able to leave work early if you have hobbies that you feel like doing
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She-Hulk: A woman is like a quiet storm. And she can be anything she wants.
Supporting male character: Wow, I didn’t realize that. Thank you for changing my perspective.
She-Hulk: America’s interests overseas must be protected at all costs, and Israel is a vital ally in this.
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When I was in school, we read The Great Gatsby… Nowadays it seems to me, that these days in school, students in school these days are more concerned with where the great gyatts be
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I liked all animals in every year
oh you like seals? did you like sharks in 2022 and capybaras in 2021 too?
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Pum pum under the tree tonight queen?
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This is the most succinct and accurate depiction of life in America
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*talking to woman 6 months older than me* The tax code, is simply a mess. Reforms are needed post-haste.
*talking to woman 6 months younger than me* Mitski low key went off when she said be the cowboy!
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Dudes wearing little ass beanies while their boats are unstable in stormy waters… Bro you are worried about the wrong capsizing
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They make those specifically for towing behind trucks
Cybertruck towing a large travel trailer like it's nothing.
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taylor swift dating matty healy is hannah arendt dating martin heidegger (also MH) for people whose Lacan getting expelled from the IPA is tati westbrook’s “breaking my silence” video
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Bro quit acting oafish and slovenly in front of the wenches
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*trying to think of an animal that is not enduring tremendous hardship* Trout in a mountain stream,
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People tend to think of “STEM careers” as good money but the vast majority of people I know working in wildlife/the environmental field are making about the same as fast food workers for jobs that require a master’s degree. No joke in this one sorry
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Punk music 1977: The queen’s a bloody wanker!
Punk music 1978: Is anyone else getting weird vibes from the grocery store lately or is it just me .
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The G in LGBT is short for Guy who… erm, how shall I put this… prefers the company of men
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Reading Crime and Punishment and alternating between shaking my head and nodding so people know I hate crime but love punishment
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North Carolina is Israel for white guys from Ohio
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Today’s “He/Him Of The Day” is Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Christ.
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This is the one of the most profound acts of love from a man to his wife I’ve ever seen
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NASA just revealed a heaven-like planet where you can drink a beer at the lake. And they’re calling it Earth.
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Bro pass the sunsk (short for sunscreen)
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Not my tenants trying to get ME to pay for black mold removal 💀 Are the straights ok?
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Women say stuff like this then end up dating skaters
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Stealing someone’s car and doing a “car acknowledgement” before every time I drive it
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When I was a kid I’d go to hockey games and I loved the zamboni. I wanted to be a zamboni driver so bad. Later met a coworker’s brother did this and he was basically like, it’s everything you dreamed it could be and more, you fucked up by not becoming a zamboni driver
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Nothing more embarrassing than a grown man setting an alarm for 9 am. You should have been at the steel mill 3 hours ago.
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y’all what is a painting or other work of visual art that never fails to destroy you every time you see it because BOY I’ll start:
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Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend: Just turned 25!
Leonardo DiCaprio: Oh hell no! I’m out!
Undersea Drake: You used to call me on my shell phone!
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Dune 2? I’d rather be Dune 2 chicks at once lol. Just kidding. Have a nice day everyone
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Dune 2? I’d rather be Dune 2 others as I would have them do unto me
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Bro you could have just said you like the village
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He’s asking me to let him go outside so he can kill every bird in the world
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I didn’t realize this til I was an adult but waking up on Christmas morning to a bunch of presents under the tree is NOT normal. It’s a sigh of ADHD and autism.
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What happens under capitalism if you don’t want to work?
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What bugs me most about this type of guy is that they’re trying to make it happen too hard. You haven’t really earned this lifestyle until it’s the only one available to you
This man has never been chill in his life. He’s a chilling larper
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Bro did you seriously just stun in newly shared photos
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Oh mein Gott it is so hjöt in Europe that mein Chökkolatte-Barr is mjëlting and now resèmbles ein traditional dessert söup cjömmon in mein Administråtive-Distrikt
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Thrift store mugs 5 years ago: West Virginia Youth Sportsman’s Club Human Target Practice Day 1991
Thrift store mugs now: (in Harry Potter font) Daddy’s Adulting Juice
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Wat was het "incident" bij uw windmolen?
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Not my stoned ass thinking this was Mentuhotep 😂
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Someone said these were the two genders 😭
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Oh no the only job left for me is candy taste tester 👅🍭
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When I look at this photo I am struck with the overwhelming feeling that the man is the catfish’s therapist
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Gyatt is short for Gyatthew!
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Who wants to drive me to the airport on Monday?
💬0 🔁0 ❤️0
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My wife and I saw you from across the bar and we want to know if you condemn Hamas
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My Federalist uncle is gonna spit out his turkey when my Jeffersonian ass voices my support for a decentralized agrarian republic at the Thanksgiving table 😂
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I know when that hot line bling!! Lol
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King Charles III ‘to break from tradition’ with coronation outfit choice
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It’s wild how much health/wellness advice is completely impossible to implement for people who have real jobs
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People with fake laptop jobs: I love how nobody has to take work seriously this week!
Me: *stares in landlord* Must be nice…
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Me: whats up…. Oi! Sweep ya chimney for a halfpence, mista?
Girl: Do u have a signature on your texts or something?
Me: yeah…. Oi! Sweep ya chimney for a halfpence, mista?
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Elon Musk: I am offering $43 billion, to purchase Twitter
Cajun Grimes: When ze hole in ze tin roof from ze las’ tempête still needs a-patchin’? When ze enfants Exa Dark Sideræl, Boudreaux, and X Æ A-12 still need zey new Sunday clothes? When zere ain’t no meat in ze gumbo pot?
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Oi, mista! Wot was the “incident” at your chimney?
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At the heart of things this is no different than posting a skate clip
Men, what's stopping you from looking like this?
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Lake Erie, the shallowest and most fertile of the Great Lakes, contains only 2% of the water of the Great Lakes but 50% of the fish
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Hate family drama so much I just want to have a normal Thanksgiving
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You know the latte is about to be oats milk when the barista is none binanry! The
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Gas is getting more expensive because oilfield workers have to memorize so many pronouns now
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Mental health hits different during Pride Month! That’s why Chase Bank is teaming up with the U.S. Air Force to make a credit card that kills you
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Republicans: Biden is too senile to run for re-election!
Democrats: He’s still saner than Trump!
Medieval Drake: Whencetoforth I departed the citadel thee!
Cajun Grimes: Dis AI so spicy you gon’ slap ya mama! Fo’ true!
Midwest Dracula: I vant to just sqvueeze right past ya!
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Oh look, the last ripe peach! I’ll use it as a special treat in my daily smoothie.
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If you have a gf you can’t let her see roadkill. If she does you have to say “don’t worry it was just an old coat” or something
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Arr, matey! What be “the incident” on board yer ghastly ship?
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Why have you not moved to Columbus, Ohio yet?
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When she mistakes you for a basic white boy but you actually listen to Talking Heads and New Order
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Not my agile ass leaping from branch to branch!
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My contraption is in the shop rn
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I won’t explain it but getting grossed out by the word “moist” gives the same energy as being scared of bees when you’re not allergic *the spell lifts* I just remembered! I need to bring one RARE HERB to the WIZARD of each region… Press X to view the MENU
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Mold poisoning and multiple concussions made me a free thinker
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Not bad for my first attempt designing and building a home! I put it in Mill Run, PA since it was just for practice.
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This would have been the greatest wildlife, hunting and fishing area in North America had it not been drained for agriculture
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European address:
Strasse St-Lörenz E392-Z4200
H4320
59C Beethovengasse
Österreich
American address:
100 Industrial Pollution Drive
Fucksville, AR
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He lives his entire life fighting the current. If he relaxes for a single second he will die. His habitat is shrinking and to make matters worse, he’s delicious. Look at the fear in his eye
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NFL this, NFT that… Does anyone still cook Roast, potatoes, onions, and carrots anymore?
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