Tony Cuomo-Welsh Bobsleigh Team 2007 runners up
@tony_como
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Cineaste, Raconteur, Bon Vivant. These are all French words…..My other Hoover is a “Henry”
Somewhere in England 1943...
Joined June 2020
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Two simple rules for life: Never bother with anybody who doesn’t like the music of Etta James or who doesn’t find Laurel & Hardy funny.
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May 5th 1980: Another “All white balcony”. Thats me on the rope above “Smudger”. (Why I bought talcum powder with me that day, I’ll never know)
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Artist’s preliminary model of £1Million taxpayer funded Muslim war memorial just in
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A black, gay man to play the new Dr Who....Nobody saw that coming 🙄
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Am I alone in thinking she looks like one of those modelling clay re-creations of a 4000 year old body found on an archaeological dig?
Eni Aluko says she has fled the country in fear for her safety after Joey Barton's vile comments about her
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Want to feel old? This is what The Eurythmics look like today
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The police have released a photo of the man wanted in connection with the Shortlands railway stabbing. DCI Derek Whingely has described the man as “mostly white” using their new “Stadlen scale”
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Kate Garraway shares last poignant moments with Derek Draper, at learning of his £16k a month care costs
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So. A lesbian, a midget and two black fellas walk into a pub......
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Police release photo-fit of the white person stealing Matthew Stadlen’s mobile phone
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11th August 2023: To Worzel Gummidge and Carol Vorderman, a daughter. 🙏🙏
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It’s almost like Huw Edwards never existed 🤔
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Spot the 8 differences between these terrifying psychopaths
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Happy 75th Birthday John Cooper Clarke
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So, how are things going with the man who shot Sasha Johnson? Is he still not white?
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Me and a few of the lads on our way to see the Archbishop of Canterbury for our reparations
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The back of the spoon twins
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@kelvmackenzie
Fuck giving back a piece of metal and a ribbon. She should pay a heavy financial penalty or go to jail
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Man who couldn’t be arsed to travel a few miles to see Postmaster Alan Bates, is quite happy to go to Gaza 🙄🙄
The humanitarian catastrophe in Gaza is deepening, with thousands dead and over 1.5m people displaced.
And the hostage crisis following the 7 October terrorist attacks by Hamas continues.
This week, I travelled to the region to meet those directly affected by the conflict.
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Well done to
@SadiqKhan
for making Londoners safe on TFL by making mask wearing mandatory. The downside is of course, once we step off the tube/bus/train, we’re likely to find ourselves on the sharp end of a machete. Funny old world 🙄
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I’m not a big follower of American politics, but this Paul Pelosi thing, is starting to look a bit “Keith Vaz” isn’t it?
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If she can work out how to pronounce your name, she can probably figure the other shit out for herself
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Diane Abbott and Angela Rayner in happier times
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So, 2 superficially black fellas walk into a pub
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I wonder if Lenny Henry is aware of the actual amount he’s reviled? Black people see him as an “Uncle Tom” character, who’s sold out to “Whitey”. The majority of Whitey, think he’s just a woke, divisive, race-baiter. Only a minority of managers at the BBC can stand the Cunt
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Just noticed that Jon Venables was trending on Twitter/X. Had to click on it, assuming Rishi had made him minister for children
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You all know me. Know how I earn a livin'.
I’ll catch Ezedi for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. I’ll find him for three, but I’ll catch him and kill him for ten. For that you get the head, the eye socket, the whole damn thing.
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Is “Baileys” a “Girls drink”? I quite enjoy it and am consequently questioning my sexuality....
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Carol Vorderman must be spitting feathers. All the attention seeking behaviour on Twatter recently and the Nike sports bra gig goes to a bloke with no tits ☹️
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Time for Day 3 on the increasingly ludicrous, “Advent Calendar of Cunts”(c). Voila: it’s one of our favourite “race-grifters”: Dr Shola Mecca-Bingo. Divisive Shit-Bag? Yes. But face it, if you need to remove burnt-on residue from an aluminium saucepan. Who you gonna call?
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It’s worth repeating that Omicron has killed less people in the UK than “Noel’s house party”
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“Yes sir, I appreciate that you’ve just been burgled, but unfortunately all the lads are currently out, learning their steps, for the inter-departmental YMCA “Dance-off”
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The new Windrush line, seen here on its maiden voyage, just leaving West Croydon station. Sadly the buffet car was closed due to staff shortages
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@planetjedward
Good to hear a well thought out argument from two of Ireland’s foremost history scholars
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Happy 65th Birthday to “The Cure” Front-Man; Robert Smith
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Grant Shapps being tipped as possible PM. Why shouldn’t Shapps have a go at running the country? He’s fucked up every cabinet job he’s ever been given. The country is fucked anyway. Might be fun watching Britannia sink beneath the waves, before Starmer gets a look-in
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Imagine you were given the power to resurrect a British soldier who lost their life in World War 2 and told them they died for the freedom for this prick to stand as an MP. 🙄🙄
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Kate Garraway introduces part four of her riveting Derek Draper documentary: “Knock three times for Wonga“
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Rasheed also noted that whenever Gary made him soup, he’d wake up next morning with a sore bum
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No.....I’m the BBC pervert....
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He should be on the Sikhs Offender Register....
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Sadly, Rakeem’s life of crime began at an early age, after his estranged father used him in his axe-throwing act
Man who stabbed passenger on a London train in broad daylight is finally apprehended by police.
Rakeem Thomas, 19, is currently in police custody after carrying out a random stabbing frenzy on a train- leaving the victim in critical but stable condition.
He has been charged
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One of my main reasons for voting for Brexit, was the mistaken assumption that the Eurovision Song Contest would become a thing of the past. (Like ration books and powdered egg). Instead it’s now become a whole poxy week. I’m disappointed to say the fucking least
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🚨Breaking: Dylan Mulvaney signs £1million sponsorship deal, to be the new face of Blue Circle Cement
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After much deliberation, I have decided to stand as the Taliban candidate at the next by-election for the ward of Merthyr Tydfil. I’m standing on a “Goats and Kalashnikovs for all” ticket. I hope I can rely on your support? 👍
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If only we’d have known the drama that was to ensue, we’d have picked our own fucking cotton
You white supremacists stole people——PEOPLE!!!!
England literally traded Africans for ginger and spices.
Are you really trying to convince me that y’all were too moral to steal jewels???
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”The Advent Calendar of Cunts”(c) Day 5. He’s lost more cases than a British Airways baggage handler, looks like his vertical hold is fucked and talks like a Dalek with his cock stuck in a revolving door. It’s our favourite Fox-Battering Q.C. Let’s give it up for Jolyon Maugham
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Daniel’s just about to come out of his magical closet
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Scientists at Imperial College, have discovered that Meteorologist Jim Dale is massively contributing to global warming by breathing through his nose 😱
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Day 4 dawns on the fatuous “Advent Calendar of Cunts”(c)
And it’s a man of a thousand faces, (all mushed up together): Failed Tory MP. Part time Gargoyle. Camel botherer and Alistair Campbell’s new best mate. It’s Rory Stewart, or Florence of Arabia, as he prefers to be known
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🚨🚨By my calculation and allowing for the clocks going forward, we only have 38 hours to call Humza Yousaf a Cunt….
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When you’ll do absolutely anything to be the most popular boy at school and you still get your lunch money stolen and your head flushed down the khazi
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Home Secretary
@pritipatel
: “Hmm how can we make women safer on the streets of the UK? Shall we repel 8.5k young men with uncheckable backgrounds arriving on inflatable bananas? Nah. Let’s make Wolf Whistling a crime...Sorted”👍
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She hasn’t noticed they’ve stuck her in the flag of St George 😁
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🚨Breaking: Albanian and Romanian pick-pocketing gangs visiting Liverpool for Eurovision, have been told to go home and leave it to the professionals
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To help bolster the vaccine programme, today at Whipps Cross hospital, Gareth Southgate personally gave aspiring model, Melanie Veale (18), her first jab. Sadly he completely missed her arm and hit her left temple. Our best wishes go to Melanie and all her family.
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It will if you’re a Clap Doctor
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Congratulations to the British ladies curling team. Any sport that teaches women the correct way to use a broom can only be a force for good
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Jaki’s dropped a pollock....[Please feel free to add bad fish related puns]
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@catrionalewis
In a few years time Cat, when you’re stacking shelves at ASDA, because you and your BBC colleagues finally succeeded into banging the last nail into the BBC’s liberal, bedwetter coffin, you’ll think of this “Year of the Bat” as a golden era
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Have they found him yet?
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Time to open the “Advent Calendar of Cunts” and here is December 1st…..
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Jeremy Corbyn’s address book is taking a hammering 🚀🚀☠️⚰️
🚨 Following the report confirming the assassination of Saleh Al-Arouri in Beirut, we can now also confirm two more Hamas leaders, Abu Aamer and Khalil Al-Hayya, have also been killed.
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And how long have you had the stair carpet?
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Be careful out there. Abdul Mk-10 is still on the loose 😱
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The Motor-Home has failed its MOT ☹️
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10 minutes into the job and Wales lose to Italy 😳
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He’d just finished decorating too ☹️
🔴 The house of the deputy leader of Hamas, the Nazi, Salah Aaruri, was destroyed in the Ramallah governorate
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The fact that Theresa May is being applauded today by a large contingent of lefty, libtard, limp-dick politicians and Journo’s, tells you all you need to know about the ghastly woman and her tenure as PM.
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Seems a bit heavy-handed for shoplifting an ironing board ☹️
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Its time to see who’s behind door number 2 in our
”Advent Calendar of Cunts”….Its shadow minister for Cat-Fuckery and bacon sandwich botherer: Ed Miliband
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The search for Abdul Ezedi goes on…..
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At least they wont be able to blow the roof off the bus….
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Bloody hell, John Sopel on BBC news has just said that the chaos in Afghanistan rests squarely on Biden’s shoulders...Is he on painkillers? The Beeb will have his guts for garters
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In a bad mood after getting her bollocks caught on the saddle…
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4 Boys, who looks like have gone off the road while on a camping trip and have died and Taffy is worrying about the spelling….What an absolute Cunt
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TV actress now, but what will she do when her Looks go?
Bridgerton star Adjoa Andoh says she 'didn't mean to upset anyone' after sparking backlash by calling Buckingham Palace balcony 'terribly white'
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Wonderful to hear Annie Lennox call for a ceasefire before murdering “nothing compares 2 you” at the Grammys👍
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We can all breathe a sigh of relief that Gary Glitter has been denied parole, as another 200 acid attackers rock up at Folkestone 🙄🙄
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@jamieoliver
@SadiqKhan
Why don’t you pay your creditors the money you owe them, you fat tongued ponce?
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🚨Earlier reports of Nish Kumar and Rosie Jones, being on fire, have sadly turned out to be a false alarm and was in fact, orange tumbleweed blowing across the stage.
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Alex Scott has confirmed she is stepping down from her “Match of the Day” role and will now be focussing all her efforts to being the new global ambassador for bubble-wrap
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Followed by a 21 gun salute
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If the Taliban eventually take over the UK, will we have enough fabric available for the new dress code?
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You just died. The recent photo in your camera roll is what killed you
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@WelshLabour
He’s a Cunt. About to be replaced by another Cunt. Do you have nothing but Cunts to offer us?
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Alexa. Give me an example of damning with faint praise….
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A new board member for the Beeb. It’s amazing how all that joylessness and vitriol is etched into every line of her “bag of spanners” face
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In an exclusive interview on Newsnight tonight, Gordon the Gopher has denied ever meeting Philip Schofield
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Outstanding work by Moshe Dibnah 👍👍
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@kimleadbeater
@iamaafaq
@IMWS1
Hey Kim, great to see you’re determined to lose Labour their next by-election. Perhaps a photo of you kicking a small puppy next...Keep up the good work👍
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£35k my arse. I’ve been sending saucy “boudoir”pics of myself, to Sophie Raworth for 3 years and all I have to show for it, is an exclusion order and three years on the sex offenders register 😡
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@RealBattsby
His constant deriding of the majority of British people and their values, from a Monaco tax haven probably has something to do with it 🤔
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New Talking Action Man : Pull the cord and hear Fuck All
Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer backs calls for a sustainable ceasefire in Gaza, adding that his party is strongly in favour of a two-state solution between Israel and Palestine.
🔗
📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube
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Today‘s Hymn will be “What a friend we have in Jesus” and later we will be passing the plate round to help with father Alan’s “cataract operation”
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Sometimes, words fail me🙄🙄
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Comic Relief night tonight. I have taken the precaution of eating dinner early, filling a flask with hot water and removing the main fuse from the box. Get fucked Lenny Henry
@comicrelief
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