raccoons be like

eat ur fiber kids. my poop is hard like rocks and i think it was why my day was so bad cuz i’m squeezing it out and i don’t feel impending doom anymore. is this freudian?

MY INTUITIONAL GUT IS MADE OF STEEL walked in after dominating a water slide to a recruiter calling my phone…. I’m like dennis rodman i’m so badass

ratio

when ur gf dad think you bang ur gf sister bf

https://t.co/tTq63u7XIM

just asked kassidylynn to stretch me out good tonight, forgot to tell her that my hamstrings are tight today

Cocky want TV show!

accidentally became important at work

the fuck did my sweet boy tweet?!

i’m bored tonight so i downloaded this new app! it’s called tiktok, wish me luck!

hey which arrangement has more feng shui

do not call ur gf medium ugly… she will not like it

makin my mouth do a solid workout sucking on this slurpee

just made a comment to grandma that us kids have gone woke and she’s gives a solid mmmhm, sorry grandma people shouldn’t be discriminated against…

More like

i’m so effing giddy

erm… grandma tried to kiss me?

accidentally started the vaccine conversation at the dinner table….. YIKES!

Anyone fw nerdy gamer guys?

bro how tall is todd howard