The way I hid my trauma behind good behavior, shyness and people pleasing as a kid. People thought I was an angel but really I was terrified to have a personality so I chose obedience. So much to heal as an adult.
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To this day, many of my family members including my parents are just now meeting the real me. It’s something I carry a lot of shame around, but it’s taken me decades to recognize and display the dynamics of my actual personality beyond just being agreeable.
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@thekayanova
@F_AName
I didn’t realize I was a “good child” until I was 20 and I’m still recovering from all those years of hiding myself. Like my family would be so surprised when I revealed things about myself that I thought they already knew
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@thekayanova
Whew chile I struggled with this for sooo long. I’m still uncovering parts of my personality
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@thekayanova
The way you’ve verbalized my whole life into actual words, that I’ve struggled severely to find for so long, should really be studied. Wow.
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@thekayanova
Love and light to you mama.... I can totally relate with what you are going through.
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@thekayanova
Wow, this sounds like my childhood as well. I felt shame… oh I mean lots of it! I figured if I hide it then everything would go away. But trauma never does, it only resurfaces. So glad I’m not that little girl anymore but I still honor her.
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@thekayanova
The healing process as the result of this is so painful and tiring I just want to sleep 24/7
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@thekayanova
@imprettylikeart
i appreciate you and your ability to put this into words for the countless adults who had this same feeling and for the kids who are going through it now ❤️
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@thekayanova
@NicoleLewisLCSW
Hmm “terrified to have a personality” is something i didn’t expect to resonate but this explains it so well
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@thekayanova
@Lishaaaa__
this was…..deep, well as most know I was NEVER considered good child cause I just had a flame that couldn’t be tamed 😂
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