social anxiety
@thedarkprowler
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Statuses
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ur a sick fuck for what u did on that island
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me: *trying to conceal tears after learning my wife cheated on me*
my 5 year old son in the back of my gmc grand sierra:
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i’m giving my kids fl studio and telling them if they can’t sell enough beats by christmas i’m gonna put the dog down
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he kind of looks like sidney sweeney
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awkwafinas mom: 아버지 울리게 하는 그런 말 좀 그만 하세요
awkwafina: what is you talmbout
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bro said i’m gonna make indians from scratch
Dirk’s kids look like those 2050 humans
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his voice cracking and like audibly trembling as he tells that 18 year old girl to get out is so funny man
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i was gonna make a joke about these guys looking like mac demarco and nathan fielder but it turns out that actually is mac demarco and nathan fielder
me to the gas station attendant that still sells salvia
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damn 6’9 u playing with the wrong wolves
Cop pulled me over and I accidentally handed him my fucking furry ID at first instead of my drivers license because it was in the front pocket of my wallet 💀
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that’s kid is like a pet to him at first he didn’t fuck with it but now he’s letting it jump on the couch and shit
Drake’s son Adonis can’t stop saying “21, can you do something for me” 😂
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why does the wolf have a bron jersey
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he looks like an eastern european guy before joining the nba
I like how every photo of the GTA6 hacker shows him holding a nice fish
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this is how it feels to smoke weed and go to the store
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they’re easier to make. any other grand inquiries retard
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i’m perched up on the chair in the restaurant casting illusion spells on ur girl
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this picture makes me want to kill myself. i feel so awful for this dog
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me: what’s up today man
50 year old coworker: i’m sick of all these fucking guatemalans
me: word
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fym thoughts bro
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pornhub should install a button right next to the play button that automatically sends the link to the video that you’re watching to all of your contacts
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she doesn’t know about our secret lives we lead
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wife: you better not be hanging out with that vampire who pretends to be drake
me: what no i told you i don’t hang out with him anymore
drakeula: *voice muffled behind closet door* i need a vun dance
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me: pulls out a cigarette
chinese guy: pulls out a chinese cigarette, gong noise plays
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wife: you’re 43 years old if you don’t stop talking like a teenager i’m going to leave you
me: wym by that goat ⁉️👀
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video of a guy using his deformed penis to pick a lock
american reaction: bruh 😂😂 bro really got that lock rizz 🤣
chinese reaction: 真正的战士即使生活只给了他失败的工具，仍然能取得胜利
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concussion lowkey good as hell when you don’t got the doctor in yo ear saying it’s making me more rerarded
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me: pulls out a cigarette
chinese guy: pulls out a chinese cigarette, gong noise plays
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straight up haven’t seen comedy this dog shit in my entire life. this is groundbreakingly awful. well done
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he looks chill about it
Alabama set to be first state to execute a prisoner by forcing them to breathe pure nitrogen
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my parents did this to me as a child
Apparently they socialize endangered shoebill storks by making them play with a terrifying muppet version of themselves lol
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almost heaven
xinjiang province
bukadaban feng mountain
yurungkax river
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dealer: aight bro so today i got girl scout cookies, sour diesel, and ancient chinese wisdom
me: let me get some of that ancient chinese wisdom
dealer: *flute playing* A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song
me: that’s what’s up
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A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song
what is some ancient chinese wisdom that will get you like this?
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this is the kind of tattoo ur coworker shows u that u gotta stifle ur laughter for when u see it before telling him it looks dope
Yall think 56k was too much or too little for this tattoo ?
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@sexwithuruncle
it’s like watching a baby playing with a jack in the box and getting surprised each time it pops up
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looney tunes ass situation
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me: *takes out a cigarette*
chinese guy: *takes out a chinese cigarette, gong noise plays*
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yeah we should all like cool things like smoking epicly in freaking hell
tim robinson (screaming): HEY this SOUP isn’t supposed to be COLD
the internet:
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if they think that’s bad the carts in 2016-2017 literally diminished my iq by like 30 points and gave me schizophrenia
There’s a whole phenomenon on TikTok of young people who self-claim they are now functionally retarded from hitting too many homebrew concentrated thc pens during the pandemic
They call it the cartdemic
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do you think black teens in the 1920s fucked with Popeye in the same way they fuck with Goku today
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me looking at the green bananas i bought from the store
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every palestinian person born in the past 80 years has been born as a hostage
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i hope everyone who would ever go to a sam hyde show gets mugged immediately after leaving
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Paris Hilton shares first photos of her 10 months old son, Phoenix.
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if it was me it would be
-rage
-horny
-horny
- playing madden
New emotions in ‘INSIDE OUT 2’ will reportedly be:
• Envy
• Ennui
• Anxiety
• Embarrassment
(via:
@CanWeGetToast
)
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drake: i hate how i have to hide our love from the world. i don’t know how much longer i can take it
his 9 year old boyfriend: you have to be brave drake
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i’m a roofer from new jersey and i’ve got a pretty good grasp on what’s going on. not sure why you don’t
I have a Masters degree in Middle Eastern politics and conflict studies, and I can't tell you what tf is going on in Israel/Palestine rn, so just be sure to take "experts" with strong opinions with a big ol' pinch of salt
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giving my son a very somber piggy back ride in the death camp
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u gotta respect someone willing to go this hard
8-year-old beaten to death by martial arts instructor only one day after parents enrolled him
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i’ve put on like 30 since he joined the nba
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hmmm idk man maybe the side with the fucking dragon?
The world is now fully divided into good vs evil. On which side are you?
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Breaking: Netflix confirms that there will be a
#strangerthings
and
#wednesday
crossover within the next year. Would you drink cum if you were paid $100 for it?
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just passed out and woke up to all of this coming out of a gash on my head
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don’t ever do that at the aquarium. if i was there that guy would be leaving in a body bag
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american mother in 1998 seeing pikachu on the tv
The Japanese be inventing new rodents in a lab and posting them on instagram what even is this
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ariel pink looks like what roger from american dad would look like as a human
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boss: hey man what ru watching on there
me, apple pro goggles on, visibly hard, wet spot forming on jeans: oh i’m just playing angry birds
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you should see what the guys who built ur house were like at work
Taco Bell employee appears to be high or on something while working 😳
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an important piece of the male psyche is the deep seated underlying belief that if you were in the right situation you could defeat most animals in unarmed combat
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are you people actually retarded
🚨| Adin Ross is set to interview Kim Jong Un tomorrow.
Time: 7:30 EST
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imagining him getting picked up by a large bird
This has to be the hardest, most futuristic exit of a Cybertruck owner anyone has ever seen thus far 🔥
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whenever people post a scene from that babylon movie this is what it looks like to me
Kai Cenat has a questionable way of celebrating winning Streamer of the Year... 💀
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me: *wears a new hat that i’ve never worn at work before*
black coworker: man there he goes with that hat again
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he thinks he’s him
In 1995, a man named Sonny Graham received the transplanted heart of a suicide victim. He then married the donor's wife and later killed himself, in the exact same manner as the donor did.
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this is a really gay awful tattoo and it also looks like absolute shit
Peeps: "tattoos need to have meaning"
*The tattoos tattoo artists love the most *:
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george lucas: his name is dagunga he looks like an amputee with fetal alcohol syndrome and green skin
7 yo me: excellent, this is really good stuff george
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senator john “sloth” fetterman celebrating his favorite holiday, hitlers birthday
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i don’t even fuck with fantano but the leaks made him look cooler
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guy on here: my life is awful i’m. a fat piece of shit and my wife is leaving me
the suit guy: the problem is that you wear bad outfits
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