I hereby issue an open invitation to every human on the planet to kill any mosquito that's all me no matter what part of me it's on

You know what to do 🐝

“Tom Sandoval was so fun on The Traitors!” Me:

stop normalizing men

https://t.co/ThlrDzhWpj

Straight up “bearing it” and by “it”, haha, well, let’s just say The Curse ⓘ 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗧𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁

Every morning when I take my medication and vitamins, Scout comes to beg for them. I got her some dog probiotics and now we get together every morning for pill time.

https://t.co/f0QJZN87at

Sorry I can’t make it, it’s dark by 6pm and I have an astigmatism and also I don’t want to.

she’s a 10 but she communicates her feelings by reposting

in retrospect, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords really might've been a better basis for a system of government.

i liked everything you liked 5000 years before you liked it. i was in the temples reading scripture and prophesizing.

coworker lookalike contest in my Antarctic research base

https://t.co/KmLB1Gn241

if you catch me smiling at my phone it’s because i'm looking at the photos of soup

not now bro i’m romanticizing vampirism

A reminder.. the perfect definition of feminine strength and beauty that all true women strive for:

Being giddy about a man I didn’t know 2 weeks ago? That’s just a normal week for me, baby