Sohaib Saeed د. صهيب
@tafsirdoctor
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Scottish Azhari. Purveyor of ḍād jokes and Great Exegesis. Director @IbnAshurCentre
Scotland
Joined November 2016
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Talking to yourself in the shower is called مشاورة.
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An Arab asked me what’s the capital of Peru and I said “Lima” and he was like “I just want to know.” 🤷🏽♂️
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Some of you have a severe deficiency of Vitamins A, D, A, B.
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I can finally share with you that “Explaining the Qur’an through the Qur’an: Intratextual Tafsir in Theory and Practice” is forthcoming with Edinburgh University Press!
@EdinburghUP
[Pic is just a draft I did for fun]
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When I finally write my tajwīd book the chapter on ‘sun letters’ is gonna be called: The Silence of the Lāms.
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Imam's sister: Had the crowd been truly out for blood he wouldn't have managed to shield him. All respected the imam's role & made us proud.
The extraordinary decency and courage of this act has brought me to tears this morning. I hope this imam gets the recognition he deserves.
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Every husband should follow the Māturīdī madhhab, as in ما تريدي “Whatever you want, dear” 😏
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This blew my mind/heart. Aisha (R) would send donations to needy households, then ask the messenger “What did they say?”
Then she’d make the same du’a for those families so that she’d receive her reward fully and exclusively from Allah.
لا نريد منكم جزاء ولا شكورا
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Did you know “Instagram” is derived from Arabic استغرام – looking for love?
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What if I did a short video summarising themes from each juz' of the Qur'an, to help you during/before Ramadan?
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Let the Azhar maintain its silence, but I will always remember him upon its minbar.
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Did you hear about the guy who ordered al-Bidaya wa’l-Nihaya of Ibn Kathir, so they sent him the first and last volumes of his Tafsir? 🤦🏻♂️
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Shaykh can I accept all cookies while fasting?
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I still chuckle about that march for Palestine 🇵🇸 years ago in Glasgow when a racist shouted at us “Go back to yer ain country” – aye pal that’s pretty much the point 🙄
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Aboo Fulaan al-Wannabee: "Quran is clear, init."
Hanafi scholars:
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This is being shared as an entertaining smackdown, but let’s not downplay the very widespread misunderstanding about the Quran being “clear” and “easy” (both valid descriptions but need to be understood in light of our lived experience with the text).
Sheikh Adil al-Kalbani destroying the liberal and secularist Nadeen al-Budair is the most entertaining thing I've seen during this entire pandemic 😂😂 Her blank face at the end is absolute gold 😭
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I’m not saying you have to be religious, just be a decent mumin being.
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Controversial opinion: a lot of what you call “joking about religion” is actually joking about life from a religious perspective but you don’t see the difference because you have imbibed a secularised notion of “religion” as a separate thing 🧐
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I know converts don’t have to change their names but I did enjoy seeing Barry become Abdul Bari 😄
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Me to manuscript: you’re so attractive, I can’t believe no one ever dated you—
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Okay but where are Khazraj gang supposed to exit?
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As Imam Tabari wrote in the intro to his Tarikh: RTs ≠ endorsements
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Non-Arabs pronouncing ع is guttural appropriation.
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Waiting my turn (that’s my Dad behind me!) – Eid mubarak everyone! 🇵🇸
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I seek Allah’s refuge from the shaytani regime!
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In awe of all you guys with opinions on things you don’t know, and here I am struggling to have an opinion on the thing I know.
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Us: Have you considered posting an Islamic reminder vid without a humming track?
Them: Hmmmmmmmm 🤔
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Why is Hand of God trending... we debating the Ash’aris??
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Do you follow a madhhab or are you “too cool for school”? 😆
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Unpopular opinions: this isn’t even that eloquent in Arabic so shouldn’t be used to sing the praises of the language. Little tricks can be done in probably every language on earth. And the translation looks off to me while we’re at it. Goodnight.
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Happy Father’s Day to Sayyidna Ibrahim (pbuh) and all who love and respect him.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but “Summa ameen” means “He was poisoned, amen.”
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PDF was invented by the Arabs. “Adobe” is derived from “al-ṭūb” which means the building blocks of a research paper or refutation.
~The Adab of Adobe, p. 16.
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“If it happens in public I gotta respond publicly.”
~ Usul al-Twitter al-Muslim, p. 3
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You know when you’re reading something and a bit seems off, like someone other than the author inserted it there, and you’re like “This is mad sus” – well the Arabs call that madsūs and I think that’s beautiful.
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Love this! It’s my first time seeing an English hashiyah like this and I want to try. It’s by Turkish philosopher Rıza Tevfik Bölükbaşı on his copy of Sharh al-Mawaqif. 😍
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Who said tafseer would be easy? Is it called "easyseer"?
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“There’s still time this Ramadan
for a cycle of prayer /
a supplication /
a teardrop...
that could turn your life around.”
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I just got hold of this brand-new edition/study of Ibn Taymiyya’s (d. 728 AH) «Muqaddima fī uṣūl al-tafsīr» which challenges key assumptions made by scholars – and my thesis! – about the authorship of this work, particularly the last 2 of its 6 chapters. 🧵🧵
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I always wondered why this tafsir is so sweet 😋
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I want to say something profound about running to your destiny or destiny running to you, something like that
First time in my life to see someone running for a slap 👋🏼 #صفعة_ماكرون
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Are you even an Arabic teacher if you don’t answer كيف الحال with منصوب ?
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So much marketing fetishises “hidden pearls” of the Qur’an when what we need most urgently are the surface meanings.
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Needles to say, I won’t be commenting on the latest MT knit-picking.
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Of course Twitter is famously from توتّر – tension/anxiety.
Did you know “Instagram” is derived from Arabic استغرام – looking for love?
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I recently discovered that “et cetera” is from Arabic وسترى – literally “and you will see (more than that)”.
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Someone just tweeted at the man from whom I first received ijāzah in Qur’an recitation:
“Have you even read Surat al-Ikhlas?”
Oh, Twitter. You truly are special.
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I have a Razi joke, but it’s everything but a joke.
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Most people don’t know that the NFT was invented by the 9th century Arab grammarian Nifṭawayh
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Just got off the phone with Prof. Abdel Haleem who’s providing another generous reference for a job. May Allah sustain his barakāt upon his students, the academy and the ummah! 💜
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For all who were social media fasting, Happy Eid-ul-Twitter 😁
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If this person had a fraction of the respect for our religion that he so regularly tells us he has, he would think twice before posting his own exegesis of our scripture.
I ❤️ the Qur’an because it emphasizes humanity.
“The Cow” (2:62) says: Jews/Christians/Sabians & whoever believes in God will be rewarded in heaven if they do good deeds.
What does it mean?
Actions are more important than our identifying as part of this religion or the other.
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Bros be talking about “manhaj” when all they really need is a man hug.
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Flashes of inspiration⚡️atop the Mount of Light and the Hira cave.
Please
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Tafsir teacher: “Where’s your homework?”
Student: ُأكلهُ الذِّئب 🐺
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I actually got a great deal on these, I didn’t rob a bank.
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“No my darling, you age like the Milk of Jannah” 😇
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I learned from social media:
~ It takes a village to raise an idiot. ~
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Like any serious student, I’ve read a range of Muslim scholars, and even had the honour of serving some through translation or research. I watch some of you arguing bitterly that this one or that is a hellbound deviant, and here I am just hoping I can meet them in Jannah..!
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Captivating recitation in the reading of Ya’qub which restores yā’ of idafa and adds hā’ of sakt to masc. pl. nouns. Al-Shu’arā’ 26:70-89.
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What if I did a course on Surat al-An’am, specifically about how each ayah is related to other parts of the Qur’an? Also explaining how the multiple qira’at affect meaning & translation? 🧐
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Did you hear about the guy who married a Levantine woman just so he could live in her country?
It was a Sham marriage.
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Ruqya, istikhara, istighfar and du’a: do it yourself, get good at it and hopefully you don’t need anyone else.
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The du’a for Laylat al-Qadr centres the Lord and His attributes. You’ve focused on good deeds so far this month, but now you make no mention of them.
O Allah, it is because YOU love to pardon that we beg to be included among those freed from the consequences of our errors. 🤲🏼
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By now we should have educated our non-Muslim neighbours enough that we could say “During Ramadan, I don’t miss any of the night prayers in the mosque.”
And they’d be like: “Not even witr?”
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If Matthew McConaughey were a Hanafi he’d be like
أرأيت، أرأيت، أرأيت
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Arabic has a phrase for “houses of jasmine” and I think that’s بيوت فل
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I swear, poorly trained Muslim personalities posting bogus “gems” about Quran & Arabic on the Internet and failing to take on board even gentle and well-sourced critiques is gonna be my villain origin story…
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Every day we hear people lament that they don’t have enough time. Actually, the real problem is we waste so much of it that we lose track of time! Take stock of how you spend your time. Don’t make excuses. Start doing what matters most. You’ll be amazed at what you can achieve!
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Which pasta dish opposes sex before marriage?
لا زانية
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“Brother can you do this FEE SABEELILLAH, like we won’t pay you ever and you’ll end up living on the street...of Allah.”
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“Conversion” to Islam ✖️
“Reversion” ✖️✖️
“Meccanisation” ✔️✔️✔️
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Wife watching me trim up nicely for the Interfaith Zoom:
“Why don’t you do that more often just for ME?”
Me: “You won’t leave Islam because of my appearance.”
Shaykh Saeed al-Kamali Receives a letter from a Woman in Jordan 😳 watch until the end
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Every now and then I just think about this clip.
يا سِتّير
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14 years ago I held this Quran recitation event in Edinburgh. We brought a humble qari from Manchester known as Muhammad Rif’at. He had sweet Minshawi vibes. That’s him on the bottom right. 👇
Today he is the imam of
#AyasofyaCamii
😂😎🤩
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I’ve always wanted to do a “Who’s gonna tell ’em” and here I’m getting one in while Twitter still stands.
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This is an important question and I’d like to start by taking a few steps back and look at how tafsir content has been produced, presented and consumed before now on al-Internet. 🧵
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الله أكبر
God is greater... than anything and everything.
When you say it, you declare His greatness; but when you say it again, you admit that He is greater than *that*.
And so it continues, for He is greater than any creature can conceive or express.
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