Tan Smith. Political Pisstaking, Commentary & Satire. Like the Tories? You’ll hate me. Sweary. Dystopia Warner. Labour🌹 You can sub/shout a coffee here👇🏼
The issue isn’t Lineker tweeting about politics. It’s that the BBC bosses (Gibb, Davie and Sharp) are all Tories and to them, he was criticising the wrong side.
We need to reclaim our country from corruption. It’s not about stopping the boats, it’s about stopping Tory votes.
Prince Andrew is on Epstein’s flight log. Don’t forget, the Queen paid £12m of our money to silence his rape accuser. Then the Royals/ media paraded the nonce about to to rehabilitate his image, a young man was arrested for protesting it.
Stop doffing your cap to those monsters.
Don’t want to watch GB News? Don’t worry, you can watch
@MarinaPurkiss
destroy Jacob Rees Mogg here 👇🏼
This is actually the closest I’ve ever come to pitying him.
Ps: Wonder if he supports fracking due to his alleged financial interests in the fossil fuel industry via Odey?
Alastair Campbell is absolutely smashing the shit out of this tonight.
The corruption of Sharp and Johnson needs to be pointed out on national TV, but the fact he said it live on BBC News after they tried to undermine his viewpoint, is delicious. Legend.
"Powerful men shouldn’t be allowed to commit sexual crimes and get away with it" says Rory, arrested for shouting at Prince Andrew on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh.
Thank you for standing up for survivors of sexual violence, Rory.
I feel jealous watching the Paris riots. They’re doing what we should have done a hundred times over by now. Legends. We’re a simpering, mugged nation that lacks self respect and inexplicably favours an unequal, corrupt state. I hate it. Vive la France 🇫🇷
Right, Huw Edwards has been named. Now focus on what matters, like Boris Johnson failing to hand over his phone and WhatsApp messages to the Covid inquiry. It’s a high court order.
Corrupt bastard.
He can’t hide forever.
It’ll come out eventually.
I often think about that time Danny Dyer was on a mad panel with Corbyn and Pamela Anderson and went on a furious rant about Brexit before delivering the most perfectly timed "twat" in history.
"Oh Camilla has had a hard time" yeah, I agree. It’s really tough shagging someone else’s husband for years whilst his vulnerable young wife was cruelly left to deal with a severe eating disorder and intense press intrusion all on her own. So brave.
Fuck off.
After Brendan Clarke Smith tried to shame me for thanking the Samaritans for their support at Glastonbury I want to say:
1. Mental health difficulties are nothing to be ashamed of. Talk.
2. The Samaritans are wonderful.
3. Get registered so you can vote those Tory scumbags out
Wow the BBC have really fucked this.
Wrighty and Shearer are now both boycotting MOTD. They’re going on an impromptu strike and anyone that steps in is a scab!
They’ve cancelled national treasure, Attenborough, for fear of upsetting the right with facts.
This is fascism.
I think everyone should send love to
@carolvorders
She’s tirelessly highlighted Tory corruption and taken a stand for for those suffering under a hellish government. Her heart is in the right place and her moral compass is pointing in the right direction.
She’s a good woman.
Cathy Newman calling Starmer boring on Channel 4 News was out of line.
Britain needs a PM that will ensure you won’t die before an ambulance gets to you, not a Butlin’s cabaret act that shags everything it sees.
#c4news
A gay Tory man quietly vocalises his disdain at Braverman’s "homophobic rant" and is promptly escorted out by the police?
The police?!
If they do this to their own, what do you think they’ll do to you if they leave the ECHR and remain in power?
In the past 24hrs, the BBC made sure that everyone in Britain knows:
1. Their chair is a corrupt Tory donor.
2. Tory policy is horrific, their language is akin to 1930s Germany and many national treasures oppose it.
3. The Tories influence BBC output.
Beautiful own goal.
Hi Britain First,
Just letting you know that I walked the entire length of my train home finding all of your leaflets so I could rip them up.
You aren’t patriots.
You don’t represent British values.
You’re just racist fucks.
Infosys, the family firm of Sunak’s wife, made $1.5 billion from a BP contract months before Sunak announced new gas and oil licences.
Infosys is still trading with Russia.
Yet they claim those shoplifting to feed their babies are criminals.
We should be fucking rioting.
Diane Abbott was the public victim of racist and misogynistic abuse, possibly even a hate crime. Today she had to sit in her workplace silently watching mostly white men discuss her as if she was invisible because another white man denied her the right to a question.
Abhorrent.
Prince Harry: “Democracy fails when your press fails to scrutinise and hold the government accountable, and instead choose to get into bed with them so they can ensure the status quo.”
Say it louder! Harry is telling the truth about the press and Tories and I am HERE FOR IT.
Smiling Tory MP poses with Jubilee memorabilia and dead child for photo opportunity. This is abhorrent.
Every adult involved in this photograph happening is a disgrace. Poor Archie. He deserved dignity.
I’m hearing now that players are considering whether or not they’ll give interviews to the BBC tomorrow.
This is epic. If the football legends of my youth help to bring down corrupt BBC figureheads and government, it’d be a dream come true
It’s not a football match you knuckle dragging filth, it’s Armistice Day. A day when we remember men, of different faiths and skin colours I hasten to add, who gave their service and sadly their lives, to rid the world of ugly little fascists like you.
In the latest episode of ‘Mick Lynch handing Tory MPs their arse’ is knuckle dragging, backbench ballbag, Gullis.
Mick is fast becoming a national treasure.
People are talking about the biggest challenges facing Liz Truss when she (inexplicably) becomes PM. I'd say her biggest challenge is the fact she's an absolute fucking idiot.
No vegetables on the shelves, what will come first, scurvy or rickets? We’re broke, cold, miserable and facing rocketing energy, mortgage and rent prices, you can’t see a dentist or get an ambulance, those Brexit benefits just keeping coming don’t they? They’re fucking clowns.
Tory MP Jonathan Gullis said "well they shouldn’t have come here illegally" when Tulip Sadiq raised the issue of missing, likely trafficked children from migrant hotels.
Get that despicable bastard deep in the sea. He truly is a disgusting piece of shit.
This woman was a hero, I hope she is proud of the way she took a stand for refugees and asylum seekers. It gave me hope, she represents the kind of Britain I want to live in. No human is illegal.
#bbcqt
The amazing Marina Purkiss effortlessly proving that when you take away Carol Malone’s shouty culture war nonsense, fluff and unsubstantiated claims by providing basic facts, she falls apart like wet cake.
Malone is a moron.
Marina is legendary.
Oh my god, the Led By Donkeys expose of Tory MPs (requesting huge rates to work for shady overseas companies) is all over the papers and BBC News!
Only joking, this is Britain, so most of the public is unaware because the press and BBC are led by Tory donors.
30p Lee Anderson isn’t saying what people think, he’s saying what they want you to think. He’s another fake patriot, a useful idiot, distracting you from 13 years of Tory decline.
Know your enemy.
It’s not people in small boats.
It’s the lying racists shilling for votes.
As nurses and paramedics ran towards a deadly virus without PPE, Tory MPs wheeled suitcases of booze in to Downing Street and partied till they puked.
Never forget, never forgive.
#NursesStrike
PMQs was like a roast battle today. Starmer absolutely destroyed Sunak, at one point referring him as a “reverse Midas that turns everything to…” then pointing to Cleverly to fill in the blanks. This was a fucking slating.
Lovely stuff.
#PMQs
A damning day for Britain.
Today the Conservative government has proven, beyond all doubt, that they’re nothing more than an ultra rich National Front tribute act.
Absolutely fucking despicable.
Michelle Mone is "stepping back" from the House of Lords. Unless she’s stepping into a jail cell, I don’t want to fucking hear it. NHS workers died due to a lack of PPE, she bought a yacht.
Mhairi Black turned PMQs into Burns Night with this beautifully brutal reply to Oliver Dowden.
Politics needs people like her, now more than ever. She’ll be such a loss.
#PMQs
This video shows the lengths some guys will go to, their entitlement and refusal to respect consent. Utter scumbag.
It also demonstrates why it’s wildly dangerous to remove staff from train stations at night and the terrifying impact it has on women.
Would you be surprised to discover Tory MPs were tipping off hedgefunders or tanking the economy on purpose?
Those shorting the pound are linked to specific political decisions and specific MPs. This was what Brexit was about, read JRMs dads books.
I say we arrest them.
As we died, watched the funerals of loved ones on zoom, refrained from hugging family and as NHS workers battled to save us, severely lacking in resources and protected only by plastic bags - the Tories partied.
As a reward, a number of them have been made lords.
Bastards.
Braverman is inciting a Jan 6th moment. She’s hijacking Remembrance Day, using fake patriotism to incite the far right to attack those of different religions and races. That’s what our men fought against and died for in the World Wars. She’s the only one desecrating the cenotaph.
Johnson wasn’t at PMQs. Whilst making us pay his legal bills for Partygate, one of many disgusting scandals - he’s inexplicably in the US meeting McCarthy. He’s a backbencher for fucks sake. Shamelessly showboating on the world stage despite ruining Britain. I despise the bastard
Why does the entire country need to know about the kings arsehole or Catherine getting weeks of private luxury hospital care?
The NHS waiting list is nearly 8 million.
There are people in Britain on chemo who are forced to use food banks.
Do you not see how mad this is?
As a Labour member, I’ll say this once and I’ll say it plainly - If Labour fails to repeal the Public Order Bill and Voter ID when they attain power, they’ll create powerful enemies in those who have shown loyalty and helped them to get there.
Support isn’t unconditional.
If you see someone doing this, no you fucking didn’t. Look the other way.
I’ll tell you what’s criminal, people having to steal baby products. Meanwhile, our economy takes a £1b hit and the Tories spaff £100m on a Coronation for the richest family in Britain.
Fuck this country.
Liz Truss is an over promoted clerical worker with zero self awareness and a vastly inflated perception of her usefulness as a human being. She is too mind numbingly thick to know she’s thick and an emblem of everything that is wrong with this utter binfire of a government.
With what appears to have been an assist from Farage and Sunak, the GB News owners hedge fund has reportedly cashed by in betting against NatWest. This requires an urgent investigation so we can find out what has happened.
So do reports of Truss and Kwarteng reportedly having…
People are reaching their limit… I’d guess that woman has never done that before, it took enormous courage. She’s incredible.
This the reality, every word of anger and pain. Steve Barclay and the entire Tory party need to see it and hear it.
In 2021, in a Q&A piece for The Guardian, Paul O’Grady was asked which living person he most despised.
His response?
"Every single stinking member of this lying, self-serving government"
Good answer, Paul.
We’ve lost a good one.
Diane Abbott, who was in the chamber, had to not only sit there and watch Sunak downplay racism against her but watch (mostly) white men speak on her behalf because the speaker didn’t give her the option to ask a fucking question!
Seriously? Betrayal after betrayal.
#PMQs
Brendan Clarke-Smith found to be in contempt of Parliament regarding his response to the Privileges Committee.
Excuse me whilst I play the worlds smallest violin 🎻
On a personal level I’d like to say a huge thank you to the lovely man volunteering for
@samaritans
near the Pyramid stage. He noticed that I’d paused near their truck after Lizzo and asked if I was ok. I wasn’t, it meant the world to me. That chat made such a difference.
1/
I observed the 2 min silence as usual. I felt sick knowing far right scumbags had hijacked Whitehall, climbing on fencing and bollards just before 11am, the police struggling to contain them.
Braverman and Sunak did this.
Give us our fucking election.
You may not like it but at the next general election, it's Starmer or Truss. You can vote tactically for change after 12 years of the Tories decimating us or willingly drop your trousers and bend over the barrel.
Everything else is fluff.
Those are the options. Pick one.
@Bren4Bassetlaw
Here we have a Tory MP mocking a person with poor mental health. It’s not trolling to call a cunt a cunt, Brendan.
I built my anti Tory platforms after my friend took his own life due to Tory covid negligence and NHS cuts.
You’re the reason people want to twat Tories.
I said the £1k bet about refugees was Sunak’s lowest point, you said I was wrong and you were right.
Making jokes about trans people as Brianna Ghey’s grieving mother sits in the gallery then refusing to apologise for it, proves what Sunak is…
A complete cunt, frankly.
#PMQs
The simulation is broken, it’s just getting weirder and weirder.
Everything has gone tits up.
We are definitely in a collective coma.
#ToryCriminals
#BrexitReality
Urgent appeal to reclaim Britain.
By deporting Conservatives we’ll save at least £80,000 in salary per MP. If implemented it’ll be the only financial decision by the Tories this year which makes sense.
I’m glad the national press are on it.
Thank you all for your support, it’s moved me so much I’ve had teary eyes. It means the world. It also shows that we’re progressing. At least we’ve raised a bit of cash/ got a few more volunteers for the Samaritans.
The 33 point Labour lead is so significant because it has been achieved without the Murdoch press onside. It has been achieved *despite* them. It is huge.
"China is becoming more authoritarian" says Sunak, the unelected Prime Minister of a country that recently gave police the power to pre-arrest people for thought crimes.
Sunak claimed he’d scrapped policies that never existed yesterday and today tabloids are praising him for it?
This is another level.
THEY NEVER EXISTED.
This is what happens when a government normalises lying to its population and the press are bought.
Fucking chaos.
Join me in wishing
@carolvorders
a happy birthday.
Carol isn’t just passionate and dedicated but one of the kindest, most lovely people I’ve met. Always laughing, always supportive and absolutely unstoppable when it comes to destroying the Tories.
Have a delightful birthday ♥️
When I heard about the letters of no confidence in Sunak, I laughed out loud. Seriously, who will they replace him with? That party is a wasteland of misfits, rejects, far right dangers and fucking idiots. Just give it up, call a GE and accept the Labour landslide you deserve.
Fucking HELL.
Look at these texts exchanged between George Osbourne and Matt Hancock obtained by The Telegraph.
Ever wondered how the Tories remain in power? How they poll high despite killing so many people?
THIS IS HOW IT WORKS.
Despite multiple serious allegations being made against Dan Wootton, GB News allowed him back on air where he was joined by Stanley Johnson, a man alleged to have committed horrific domestic abuse.
You couldn’t make it up.
“They don’t intend to make this a viable policy, they’re just desperately throwing up clouds of dust to distract from the absolute catastrophe that this government has become for the great majority of this country”
George Monbiot, hats off mate.
#bbcqt
One of the biggest mindfucks that the Tories have pulled off is making us think that people on Universal Credit surviving on a pittance are scroungers when the PM is a multi millionaire ex banker who lives in luxury, flies everywhere by private jet then makes us pick up the bill.
I’m going to REALLY enjoy this one on election night, I can picture it now, ‘Labour Gain’ will appear alongside his stupid face on the big screen. I’ll have a glass of fizz in one hand, the rest of the bottle in the other and I’ll laugh my fucking arse off