Patches O’Houlihan
@sondraa
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How can you not be romantic about baseball
Imagine blowing her back out here and Ohtani hits a piss missile right through the window
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Oh come on
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HOF
If there were a “Sports Twitter” Hall of Fame, honoring the best sports-related tweets of all time, what would be your nominee?
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19 million people saw someone say they would feast on my milkers in a super market bathroom
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I don’t know why he’s complaining, his seasons are short
Anthony Rendon wants shorter seasons. He hasn’t played more than 58 games in a season since joining the Angels in 2020😳
#MLB
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I don’t give a fuck what anyone says but I’m saying “we” when referencing my favorite team
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I’ll own it, I bookmarked this
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Congratulations, you played 3 more games than us and looked embarrassing while doing it 💙
Yankees are eliminated. Red Sox are eliminated. Giants are eliminated. Padres are eliminated. It feels good to be a Dodger fan 💙😎
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Every time I see Huntington Beach trendy I know some MAGA shit is happening lol
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MLB, why tf we having playoff games middle of the day during the week?
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I feel like the one thing that the right and left can both agree on is Sydney Sweeney’s yabbos
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This off season has shown why Jeff Passan is the goat of MLB insiders. He’s quiet unless he has confirmation of something, unlike these other guys who just want to be the first so they’re constantly just yapping
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I’ve had a good laugh tonight so thanks to those who aren’t assholes. But to all the haters -
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Max Scherzer for game 7 seems like a terrible idea tbh
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Someone could post the saddest tweet you have ever seen and the thread will be naked chicks doing the Gluck Gluck 9000, it’s wild what this app has become lol
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Yeah she’s better
Women don’t like to admit the truth that Jessica Alba is no longer as sexually attractive as a average 26 year old because it would beg the question - if Jessica Alba cannot sexually compete (one of the most beautiful women ever) what does that say about me?
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Opening MF Day and although I’m stuck in an office, I’ll be secretly watching everything. GO YANKEES 🩵
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I’m absolutely dying that all this Ohtani drama with his homerun ball traces back to an account called sugartits lol HOW CAN YOU NOT BE ROMANTIC ABOUT BASEBALL?!
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Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No but it’s sterile and I like the taste
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Wearing all black leading up to my birthday at midnight because I’m mourning age 27
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I don’t really like sharing a lot of stuff about what I do for work on here but ngl, this was pretty cool seeing my name in the credits on one of the most popular shows on Netflix. If only it said Patches or “big titted bimbo wh*re”
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you gotta be a sick mf to give yamamoto $300 million
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His wife is actually unreal looking
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@JeffPassan
So that means I can only drink for like an hour and a half at a baseball game now, how lame
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Yeah this guy is putting up Derek Jeter numbers
Pete Davidson and Madelyn Cline are now dating according to Us Weekly.
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Little miss I got dressed to go out and drink just to take it all off to watch Halloween movies in my robe
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I mean this is funny but I’m still a believer we need to stop taking photos of people on their phones. V weird
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I’m judging anyone who thinks Fast Car is originally by Luke Combs and not by Tracy Chapman. Despicable.
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‘23 Yankees -
• a guy gets suspended for sticky stuff, has a perfect game then goes to rehab
• Judge ran into a wall
• played a guy who was concussed for months
• josh donaldson
• the kids play!
• last place
•almost gets not hit, goes into extras & has a walk off win
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Shouldn’t have thrown that pitch then
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This tweet should’ve been the cover of MLB’s The Show
Imagine blowing her back out here and Ohtani hits a piss missile right through the window
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Nestor - dead
Montas - dead
Sevy - worse than dead
Rodon - dead
German - alcoholic
Cole- ace
Best rotation ever
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I’m embarrassed for all the people in this video who got beat out by this Voldemort looking motherfucker and for gassing him up
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FUCK
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Kay is so hot
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If anyone tells me I deserve to get raped because I fuck around on here and look a certain way, I will be blocking you without hesitation. Stop with this tired narrative that a woman who is confident in her sexuality is subjected to rape
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Let this man do peds so he can break the record PLEASE
Pete Alonso is going to donate $1,000 to animal shelters for every home run he hits during the 2024 season
"Hopefully there's a lot of homers and we get to save a lot of animals."
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Just got offered a job to work for a popular network full time while I’m at the Cubs game. This might be the best day I’ve had in a long time. LETS FUCKING GO
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You sure?
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