Philosopher King, Oracle
@signalborder
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R https://t.co/xrjEEfBLwe Remember to reinstall your phase converter to 31° left of center.
directly behind you
Joined October 2014
Consider the lilies of the field;.They toil not, and while you’re doing that, I will be over here going through your stuff.
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RT @dankcharnley: my therapist is frightened of me and my jar of fog.
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Sure. I had a ‘no sex with Asians’ rule in the 80s, but one day you walk into Sharper Image and there she is.
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You think you've had troubles? I knew a stripper back in the 70s who was put in a dog crate and tossed overboard a yacht for displeasing a sheik.
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I hired a new cleaning service. It’s $500 an hour, but worth it.
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Once in a while my grandpa used to fly his World War I vintage biplane. He mostly just circled his farm and occasionally tried to drop a brick on the cat.
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RT @SunshineJarboly: i remember as a kid going to my grandma’s house, walking in the front door & smelling the fresh scents of virginia sli….
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RT @Ann_Hedonia1: Along with the lake of fire I bet hell is mostly constant construction.
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RT @barrel_rolls: eating a couple silica gel packs to take the edge off.
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I’ve been in hiding for 25 years, fearful that Columbia House is going to come after me for that eight track tape of the Supremes.
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RT @Bob_Janke: The internet is so great. It's a place where you could say 2+2=4 and someone will reply with "Why do you think all Indians s….
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Judge, under breath: Good luck, finding a jury of your peers, asshole.
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Even though she passed a long time ago, my suit against Angela Lansbury’s estate continues.
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RT @nayele18maybe: It’s so awkward when you’re taking your bra off in front of a guy and it gets stuck and he’s all, “Ma’am, you can’t do t….
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RT @CornOnTheGoblin: [fantasy football group arguing over what embarrassing shirt last place has to wear].me: loser has to sneak a gun onto….
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Approaches grandma on deathbed, leans down to whisper:.Why do you still have 5 Rudy Giuliani for President stickers on your car?.
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Commentator at the U.S. Open: This final match will determine once and for all what is the greatest country on earth, Romania or Portugal?.
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RT @TheOnlyDSC: How out of control is black crime in America?. Let’s put it this way: this black woman is in three different police arrest….
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RT @FrankieBuIIshit: If I say “All the leaves are brown” you best respond proper.
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RT @Benjones2Jones: Sorry, folks. We accidentally made your pizza half pepperoni, half anti-pepperoni, and it exploded into gamma rays. Hav….
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