Shailin Thomas
@shailinthomas
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Proto-Radiologist. Pseudo-Lawyer. NYU School of Medicine; Harvard Law School. He/Him.
New York, NY
Joined July 2009
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![サークル無所属の会[公開版]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/519119647447056384/ztx_kyco.png)
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but changing your mind as a result of new information or perspectives doesn’t make you a hypocrite. It makes you a thoughtful person.
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The CDC now says a venti iced coffee and two ibuprofen is a balanced breakfast.
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She’s a 10. I mean her hemoglobin is 10. She is anemic.
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Nobody:
Babies getting phototherapy for neonatal jaundice:
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I don’t know what this means but I know it’s accurate
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Attending: Why don’t you go ahead and test the patient’s visual field?
Me, having never tested a visual field before:
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Attending: When a patient has a bad thyroid storm we usually just call it a bad thyroid storm in the note.
Me: Ok.
Attending: So we usually don’t call it a thyroid sharknado.
Me: Oh ok yeah I see what I did wrong.
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Spotify wrapped is cool and all but what I really want is an EPIC wrapped.
“You spent 7823 minutes writing discharge summaries.”
“Your most prescribed medication was zosyn.”
“You ordered 237 unnecessary chest radiographs.”
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Me: Is your eleventh cranial nerve working?
Patient: 🤷🏻♂️
Me: Perfect, thanks.
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Attending: What’s the drip?
Me: These are my midnight blue Figs scrubs that I’m rocking with sky blue AllBird tree pipers and a light plume gray Patagonia vest!
Attending: No I mean what is running through that patient’s new IV?
Me: Oh that’s heparin.
Attending:
Me: Sorry.
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I want whatever the opposite of fast fashion is. I want slow fashion. I want to buy 4 pairs of pants and never think about pants again for the rest of my life.
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Who decided on “vaccine passport” when covID is right there
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When you ask the resident if there is anything else you can help with and they say yes
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Me putting on sunscreen before going into the hospital knowing full well there is absolutely no chance I will see the sun
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Of course they ask if there is a doctor on board my flight literally 5 days after I become a doctor. Thankfully there was a real doctor on board and everyone was ok (except for me and my panic attack).
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Carpenter: Ok so how do you want your bed to look?
Radiologist: Ever seen a CT scanner?
Carpenter: Say no more fam
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Once on pediatrics I blanked on the word “abrasion” so I presented to the attending that the patient had a booboo.
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Me: What makes ventricular tachycardia super?
Attending: What?
Me: You know, super ventricular tachycardia? What makes it super?
Attending: Do you think SVT stands for super ventricular tachycardia?
Me: …..no?….
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Students using the skills they developed in college to succeed in medical school
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Wow. In addition to being tuition-free, NYU School of Medicine announced it’s now going to meet all students’ demonstrated financial need (for cost of living, etc.) with scholarships. Proud to be at an institution dedicated to decreasing the financial burden of medical training.
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Med students wandering around on the first day of a rotation armed with nothing but an email that says “when you get here find the resident.”
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I have attained my final form: Dr. Shailin A. Thomas, MD, JD
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Everyone talks about medicine vs. surgery and cardiology vs. nephrology, but the real battleground in medicine is people who tuck in their scrubs vs. people who don’t.
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Me: Your bloodwork is back, and it looks like you have pre-diabetes mellitus
Patient: So you could say I’m sliding into the DM?
Me: Sir, diabetes is a very serious health issue
Patient:
Me: But yes
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Attending: Ok present the patient you just saw
Me: Patient is a 32yo woman...
[7 min later]
Me: so anyway that’s why she moved to Brooklyn with her new fiancé even though Aunt Lisa said it would upset her father—
Attending: But why is she here?
Me: oh she needs a med refill
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Surgeon: We’re almost done — just going to have the med student close.
Anesthesia:
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Med students in the OR holding their hands together so they don’t break the sterile field
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A cardiologist will look at an EKG and be like “hmmm…just as I suspected…the patient broke their arm 12 years ago and has a family history of Hashimoto’s thyroiditis.”
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I just discovered that the peanut butter “muffins” my fiancée has been making for breakfast are actually from a “peanut butter cupcake” recipe that she decided to rebrand as muffins so she could eat them for breakfast.
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Absolutely wild that in becoming a doctor I spent 4 years on calculus, physics, and chemistry, and like 4 days on dermatology.
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Med students when they ask a question and the resident says they should read up on it and present about it on rounds the next day
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When I’m an attending I’m going to have a lunch every week called Nuggets of Wisdom where I buy my med students chicken nuggets and talk with them about topics totally unrelated to medicine.
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Wordle 230 1/6
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Brb buying a lottery ticket and certifying my rank list.
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Scrubs are amazing. Professional pajamas. I wish it were socially acceptable to wear scrubs everywhere. At work? Scrubs. Out at the bar? Scrubs. Dinner theater? Scrubs. Gym? Sleeveless scrubs. Black-tie wedding? Black scrubs with bow tie.
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Propofol looks like it would taste good and I’m tired of pretending it doesn’t
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STOP CELEBRATING WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AND TWEET ABOUT IT SO I CAN LIKE IT
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You can tell who’s working in health care by who posts their wordle at 5:45am on a Sunday.
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Attending: How should we treat this patient’s infection?
Me, an originalist: We must do as the founding fathers of medicine intended and let their blood to bring the four humours back into balance.
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Someone should write a thriller about an infectious disease doctor who confesses to murder in the body of every consult note but gets away with it because no one ever reads anything above the recommendations.
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I recently heard someone refer to HFpEF as Hufflepuff and now I can’t unhear it.
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The guy who taught my gen chem class freshman year of college just won the Nobel Prize in chemistry. I got an A in that class, so I basically won a Nobel Prize by the transitive property.
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Medical students trying to get some research experience
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My non-medical friends were absolutely flabbergasted that I, a first-year medicine resident, did not get Presidents’ Day off.
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The med student waking you up at 6am to ask if you’ve pooped
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Attending: Did you order basic labs for our 86-year-old patient?
Me: They have a bun in the oven.
Attending: WHAT
Me: Sorry, they have a BUN in the oven. Their labs are cooking.
Attending: What is wrong with you?
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If you ask a resident how it’s going and they say living the dream they are dying inside. They are not, in fact, living the dream.
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Damn they really gave Caitlin Clark that internal medicine residency contract
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Attending: What are the signs of Horner’s Syndrome?
Me: uh...anhydrosis and miosis....and...uh...
Resident standing behind the attending trying to bail me out:
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When the consultant is mean to me on the phone but they’re on speaker and my attending is listening
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Attending: Ok, let’s check blood work again today and then we’ll do a urine sodium and potassium over the Christmas weekend.
Me: Ok, so repeat bloodwork then Christmas lytes.
Attending: Did you just say—
Me: CHRISTMAS LYTES
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Hey
@DGlaucomflecken
, I have a consult for you. Can you do a mini-explainer on why my right eye dances whenever I open my mouth? (Only visible when I tilt my head back, though.)
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Me as a third-year medical student about to call a consult without the patient’s MRN or clinical history
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Ugh if I knew she was going to wear the exact same outfit I would have changed
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Wait you’re telling me all I have to do is buy a second home and I can get *eight* free COVID tests?
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@DGlaucomflecken
Plot twist: the report was already finalized but the surgeon didn’t check the chart.
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It wasn't until I was an intern that I truly understood the pointlessness and cruelty of Step 3. Making interns, who already work the longest hours in the hospital, use precious free time to study for a THIRD board exam does nothing but burn out residents and enrich the NBME.
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We have to solve COVID soon. My $1400 is almost gone.
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I want a spin-off of Grey’s Anatomy called Harrison’s Principles of Internal Medicine that’s just a camera following a nephrologist named Harrison around the hospital all day.
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When your medical school has a research requirement for graduation but you’ve already matched
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Radiologist: I told you to get an X-ray first.
ED Doc: I did. The first beam was an X-ray — as were the next couple hundred — which were used to make this CT.
Radiologist:
ED Doc: Ohh you meant get a *radiograph* first.
Radiologist: I swear to god.
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Attending: Ok now let’s test the optic nerve and the corneal reflex
Me:
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Fourth-year medical students: *desperately trying to think about anything other than residency applications*
Taylor Swift:
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Vanc and Zosyn teaming up to fight a viral infection in the hospital
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All patients deserve lollipops — not just pediatric patients.
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You know you’re friends from medical school when you send them a meme at 5:30am on a Saturday and they respond with a meme at 5:45am.
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The senior resident after the attending asks me to explain a concept on rounds I clearly don’t understand
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I can never remember if this one is gout or pseudo-gout
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Resident: Usually when the effusion is pink we call it serosanguineous.
Me: I thought rosé was a pretty accurate descriptor.
Resident:
Me: Ok I’ll change the note.
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I am a:
⚪ Man
⚪ Woman
🔘 Medical student
Looking for:
⚪ Men
⚪ Women
🔘 Anything else I can help you with
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-Graduated from college
-Worked as a legal researcher
-Started law and med school
-Consulted neuro, will appreciate recs
-Continue Tylenol 500mg q8hr PRN
-ID and cardiology following
-FEN/GI: normal diet
-Full code status
Wait what was the question again?
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Is it possible to tattoo internal organs? I’ve decided to donate my body to medical school education when I die, and I want to leave little notes for my med students like “you can do this!” and “peep this spleen fam!”
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The attending and resident supportively listening to your Wikipedia-level presentation on rounds about a topic they already know way more about than you do
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Well it took six years cause I took my sweet time, but I finally finished law school.
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I first decided to do an MD/JD in 2012. I applied to law school in 2013 and medical school in 2014. I started my degree program in 2015. I can’t quite fully believe this is the year I finally finish.
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I told my fiancée (a veterinary radiologist) that once I’m an attending radiologist we should co-author a paper on some weird human/animal radiology finding and she said ok but only if she gets to be senior author.
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I think MRI would be the hardest technology to explain to someone from 100 years ago.
I say this mainly because many very smart people have tried to explain it to me — a person from 2023 — and I still think it’s witchcraft.
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I really tried, but I couldn’t fit this all into one tweet.
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I just
took a
DNA
Test
t u r n s o u t
I’m 100%
going to have to repeat this genetics course
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Signed a lease today for an apartment with a dishwasher and in-unit washer/dryer. Is this what it feels like to be an attending?
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As a med student, I’m so conditioned to nod along as if I understand when I have no idea what’s going on that I even do it when a patient is talking to an interpreter in a language I don’t speak.
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I only practice evidence-based medicine, which is why I’m demanding someone do an RCT to determine whether there is any actual benefit to me having to change my EPIC password like every 6 weeks.
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“Artificial intelligence will replace doctors“
Artificial intelligence:
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I just found out this is my dog’s chart photo in his vet’s EMR
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Me when the attending wants an update on what I’ve done since rounds
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The pancreas is the corn of the body:
☑️ A big lump with knobs
☑️ It has the juice
☑️ When you try it with butter everything changes**
**you get pancreatitis
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I wonder if JD and Turk couples matched to Sacred Heart
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