lizzie serber
@reptyle05
Followers
505
Following
11K
Media
3K
Statuses
10K
ideal dinner party: both obamas, lennon, bourdain, jane fonda, padma, peggy olson, paul simon, sharon horgan, andre3000, issa rae, slug, julia child, vonnegut
Joined April 2011
Somalis are not garbage. Immigrants and refugees from anywhere are people like you and me. They should not be demonized. This country is built on the backs of people who have come from other places. It’s what our country is all about. 💙
17K
5K
41K
some high school nicknames are cute, funny, or endearing. mine is jiz.
0
0
0
my mom’s tweets were unintentionally soooooooo funny
PEOPLE, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IS KILLING US!
0
0
1
this one says: dear auntie lizzie, rubber chicken rubber chicken. i know you like rubber chickens cause they are THE FUNNIEST
0
0
0
👀
0
0
0
highlight of my weekend. (and i had a pretty good weekend, all things considered)
0
0
0
really sweet of husband’s colleagues to send flowers, but this made me lol
0
0
0
at least i don’t have to write any more obits for my parents
my mom died monday while i gave her a manicure. she was surrounded by people she loved. she was a tough cookie, and i admired the way she pushed forward after we lost my dad. i have zero parents now. fuck cancer, get your mammograms.
0
0
0
my mom died monday while i gave her a manicure. she was surrounded by people she loved. she was a tough cookie, and i admired the way she pushed forward after we lost my dad. i have zero parents now. fuck cancer, get your mammograms.
1
0
1
30 years ago yesterday was my dad’s reddest letter day
0
0
3
the rancid cheese stands alone
0
0
0
dear boss, can i please order a new keyboard? mine is old and broken* *i spilled soup on it
0
0
1
i hope these stupid assholes never get laid again
Feel like that fertility crisis thing might going on for a bit longer.
0
0
0
got chased down the street by a big ass coyote this morning, i swear this guy turned into a cartoon turkey dinner right in front of my eyes 🍗
0
0
0