so cool and surreal to see this much love for a new release of mine... made my week, super thankful 😁🙏

the japan trip did heal me so theres thar

The Cranberries: with their tanks and their bombs and their bombs, and their guns Me on the floor holding my head: AAAAGHHHH!! AAAAAHHHH!! Therapist: Quickly, turn it off! Scientist: Remarkable (scribbling on clipboard) and the boy is of Irish ancestry? I stand shaking and

i’ve mastered the art of shutting the fuck up. now i just have to master the art of talking

Today is I’m Not Going To Take It Anymore Day.

Breakfast creates strong men. Strong men cook breakfast. Breakfast creates strong men

bouba son or kiki daughter

they should make a job specifically for the people who are funny in the group chat

theres a right way and a wrong way. but the what if the wrong way is the right way

me watching the pot, as it starts boiling: they said it couldnt be done

I have officially become the chopped boyfriend

i phrase all my tweets in such a way that if a judge or lawyer were to read one under oath, they'd look like a gay slave dumbfounded by the dick in their ass

The words "emerald" and "verdant" are the 2 most green sounding words in the english language. Is it the E usage that makes them sound that way? E by itself is clearly orange

she had a dream I cheated it was nice knowing you guys

https://t.co/LHJQfGkTRG

ive been getting into swearing lately what are some starter swears i should learn

winning the idgaf war through scorched earth policy

my friends answer to any fictional weapon they could own was “a rope i swing around with scorpions on it (poisonous kind)”

i care so so much about winning the idgaf war

Its about time I looked at funny internet images again. Computer, show me the funny images, posthaste.

streets are saying i was so brave at the dentist today