joelroberts
@realjoelroberts
Followers
78
Following
9K
Media
219
Statuses
3K
not funny
United States
Joined January 2017
This quote literally describes reading instruction in schools over the past several decades:
2
5
66
Chicken pox airplane BS
A massive new study on peak performance included 34,000 international top performers: Nobel laureates, renowned classical music composers, Olympic champs, and the worldâs best chess players. It shows early specialization is a trap, and the road to greatness is long and varied.
0
0
0
Everything reminds me of her
Blood Falls in Antarctica, a glacier that looks like it's bleeding due to iron oxides in the water
0
0
0
Wrong! Theyâre actually in America
0
0
1
Not a good sign
The Chicago Bears are a serious Super Bowl threat.
0
0
0
Caleb Williams is 1/2 on fourth down game tying fourth quarter touchdown passes against the packers this season
0
0
0
Remember that it doesnât have to be smart to take your job. It just has to look good on an executiveâs resume.
0
0
0
Letters of Marque should also be issued to go after the Chinese fishing fleets that are vacuuming the oceans dry of any marine life, destroying entire ecosystems as they move like a plague of locusts over the seas That is intolerable, will destroy our oceans, and must be
Would you like to seize cartel assets as a privateer? My bill would allow the president to issue you a letter of marque. Time to take these pirates down. đ´ââ ď¸
159
1K
7K
I was working at a vegan cafe once when a Mexican dude came in and ordered a latte. I made the vegan latte and handed it to him. He took a big drink, then looked at me with wide eyes. âSoy⌠allergyâŚâ I reached a hand out to him. âHola, soy Joelâ Then he died.
English is such a robust, flexible, richly-endowed language that puns come easily. We have such an abundance of words, and there are so many natural conduits flowing between them, that all but the most sophisticated wordplay is just not impressive. Other languages are different.
0
0
2
PIANO. *plays the softest, most heartbreaking melody you ever heard in your life* TOM WAITS, leaning into microphone.
95
1K
8K
A piece of written music but it's just fancy rests written together to create the illusion that it describes something other than silence
0
0
0
When the sloppy rebound thinks theyâre wife material
The Chicago Bears recognize Indianaâs pro-business climate, and I am ready to work with them to build a new stadium in Northwest Indiana. This move would deliver a major economic boost, create jobs, and bring another premier NFL franchise to the Hoosier State. Letâs get it
0
0
1
everyone wants it clean and no one wants to get their hands dirty
0
0
0
I hate apps: girls treat men like candidates and men treat women like job applications. No one looked each other in the eye, saw the shift in body language, not a single human interaction was had. Just two recruiters wondering why a guy sent the same cover letter twice. Sad.
In case youâre wondering what the dating pool is like: I messaged with a guy in September and the conversation got boring and fell off. A friend of mine started messaging with him recently & asked me why it didnât work out (because she was also experiencing the convo becoming
0
0
0
this but cigarettes
I wish they sold bacon in packs of one or two strips. Like sometimes I want just a little bacon to start a dish with for some oomph, but I donât want the responsibility of an entire pack of bacon.
0
0
0
Think I might be a genius, give me ten minutes to see if I'm just dumb
0
0
0
Can you prove that you are not AI?
0
0
0