my hobbies are walking home at night listening to my awesome playlists…….

walked past a couple of girls running through the east village. one of them told the other “I wanna like this place more than Chicago” earlier in line for the bar this guy was telling this girl “don’t you wish we were just in love again” and she didn’t say anything back

my boss's boss's boss has started sitting in the desk right next to me and he gets to the office probably hours before me and leaves probably hours after me. it doesn't feel good at all but thankfully i think he finds me amusing

every since i was a young girl i dreamed of being upwardly mobile .... like DUH my parents didn't leave everything they knew at age 25 and move to a foreign country for me to be a BUM. my brother on the other hand

today the office operations lady at work physically blocked me from my third cup of coffee on an empty stomach and handed me a banana. i've had that one coming for a while

we literally had a perfect friday halloween and yet some of yall insisted on dressing up WEEKS before and that's why it's pouring rain now and tomorrow. it's a karmic downpour fr

i'm not saying anyone can get those jobs bc they do require credentials but i just don't think it's that hard to learn about the steps needed to apply to them

its funny that all the replies to this are like "their parents told them what to do/got them their jobs". not to be a bootlicker but like you can just go to career fairs or find this information on the internet if you try medium hard. anyone can find a free pdf of the victor

half the time I’m not even trying to go on my phone it’s just I need to do duo verification every 10 minutes and then it ends up devolving

I think this is my favorite song this year. I love how every time she says “take a sexy picture of me make me look [age]” the age decreases by a year or two

sometimes I hear a song and immediately think “this would be so good on the killing eve soundtrack”

my baddie

they're inventing new ways for me to suffer @ work

Baddies in religious psychosis create beautiful things. Insanity is divine genius in disguise.

online shopping for baby clothes for the first time in my life and having soooooo much fun. getting a new baby cousin at age 26 rules

im actually genuinely confused what you would call your father's cousin if not your aunt.....

type of guy who believes in AGI 2027 but doesn’t want New York to have a socialist mayor

that people are trying to use "auntiegate" as some sort of gotcha in the week preceding the mayoral election is actually very funny and reassuring to me