Just a reminder for when you go vote tomorrow that if you take a half-eaten hot dog from the trash can at 7-11, run it over with your car, scrape it off the pavement and sauté it in the cigarette bin, it would still be a better candidate than Mike Lee.

Do you use Nextdoor? If so, will you send me screenshots of your favorite posts? These can be things that made you angry, things that were absurd, funny, astonishing, you name it, just something that made an impact.

(in the body of the paper, not in the citations)

MLA experts, I'm in a pickle. Virginia Woolf's "A Room of One's Own" is an essay...in book format. Do I quote the title like an essay, or italicize like a book?

Some people say you can tell writers are writers because they are compelled to write but I know I’m a writer by the way I will do literally anything to avoid writing.

In second grade @BioLayne brought his awesome shark tooth collection in for show-and-tell, and I stole one. I gave it back later and he - rightfully - asked me what the earthly fuck, and the sad truth is that I was just a weird impulsive kid. I’m still sorry about that.

There are so many smart, logical, witty, clever, incisive, and politically savvy women out there And then there’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Utah’s house passed a voucher bill despite plentiful evidence that they do not improve educational outcomes. Also, the way HB 215 is flying through the legislature is wild. Take a minute if you can to let your senators know this is a garbage bill. They vote Monday.

You know what really wads my quads Early aughts me agreed that successful balance of power looked like a divided Congress, checks are real/important & working together to find common ground SHOULD BE A GOOD THING. But 2010+ me knows when they show you who they are, believe ‘em

This is important or I wouldn’t bother to use this character-limited iteration of a limp, bloated billionaire’s genitalia Would Dr. Manhattan be hot to the touch?

Once again my cat refuses to understand that I did not sit at my desk to provide a bed for her.

Just watched my cat try to scratch her face but miss entirely for like a full five seconds, just clawing the air moisturized, unbothered

Who the fuck is out there cutting round cakes into FOURTEENTHS?!

WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS

OK but WHAT IF…. the Cavs trade for Joe Ingles and Rudy Gobert

I’m still gonna wear my @spidadmitchell and @Joeingles7 jerseys, I don’t even care. Once a Jazzman…

Imagine being elected to the national legislature without having any understanding of how voting or math works. What would that be like, Tom Cotton?

PUNCTUATION QUESTION! “This was par for the course; someone fell behind at work…” Colon or semi? I have lost all knowledge in my attempt to finish this on time, I am typing from a place of frenzy and terror

I know it’s part of the game, but there is something really dehumanizing in the way the NBA talks about players as assets they can move around like chess pieces. It bothers me.

It’s always fun to be randomly scrolling TikTok and spot a Dexcom/T:slim out in the wild, doubly so when it’s @jizziemcguire - thanks for helping T1D be visible!