Political Animal
@politic_animal
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I'm Jo. Policy adviser @lgacomms . ‘Twitter's answer to Phileas Fogg' - microblogging silly travel adventures - see pinned tweet. Views own. Politicanimal on 🦋
Charlton, London
Joined July 2009
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Pinned Tweet
The pinned index tweet for travel challenge threads is a bit unwieldy now, so need to start quote tweets:
🏴
#county24
🇮🇪
#ireland24
🌊
#atlantic24
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Things no-one else is crazy enough to be doing right now: final prep for a trip to answer one of the great unanswered questions: just how far can you travel by bus from London in 24hrs? I *think* I know on paper, but in practice…? Follow along from 3am as I slowly go mad.
#bus24
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Did it! 6 minutes late, 45 seconds to spare. Bova Marina, in Calabria, 1964.6km from St Pancras, 23hrs,59min,15sec. I think that is the furthest you can make it.
#train24
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As media clickbait strategies go, at least the York Press’ is localised and has a degree of plausible innocence to it. But they know what they are doing. They know.
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Lord Frost’s analogy is spot on, and explains precisely why in London we never built more than one bridge across the Thames. London Bridge was good enough for the Romans, and any additional transpontine capacity to reflect the current size of the city would be a white elephant.
It's a silly argument. UK cities aren't separated by a wide river. They are already connected.
A better analogy would be to imagine you have two cities *already* connected by a perfectly good bridge.
Instead of improving that bridge, you decide to build a new 'super bridge'…
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‘Young people who can’t afford a house in London should quit whinging and buy a £21,100 Darlington to London season ticket in order to access affordable housing. I am the voice of sense.’
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I'm going to admit it: the second sentence didn't go where I was expecting.
We urgently need to change how dyslexia is perceived. That’s why we’re launching a dyslexic-only sperm bank
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To be fair, Britain is the first country ever to attempt the earth-shattering feat of constructing a 140-mile long high speed railway line, and I think people will give us a lot of credit for having tried.
BREAKING: Government refuses to guarantee second leg of HS2 to Manchester
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I’m v conscious that I’m basically messing about on Europe’s rail network while elsewhere on the continent millions are using it to flee and brave Ukranian rail workers are keeping their network running under fire. For every km I get, I’m donating 20p to
@decappeal
🇺🇦
#train24
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Anyway, probably time to wrap up this thread for now before I thread my entire life into it. Thanks so much for all the engagement, fun and support!
#bus24
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Bit concerned that no-one has explained to Lord Goldsmith that - having accepted a peerage - he no longer has a vote at the next general election.
Zac Goldsmith says he is ‘very tempted’ to vote Labour at the next election
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Very sorry to inform you all that, after a long and painful illness, irony passed away this morning. No flowers, please.
EXCL: Nigel Farage plans to move to the US with his wife, say friends, adding Ukip chief will feel "freer" abroad
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My favourite St Pancras fact - that the distance between the pillars that hold the trains and platforms 50ft in the air is measured to accommodate barrels of beer from Burton-on-Trent, which used to be delivered here by special train twice daily for insatiable London.
#train24
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This is why Galloway promoting himself as ‘the first MP for Palestine’ really sticks in my craw. Layla Moran is of Palestinian heritage, has family in Gaza, and demonstrates an actual commitment to peace and an understanding of the pain on both sides, in a way alien to Galloway.
Visiting Netiv Ha’asara I met Roni, an Israeli peace activist who lost family on October 7th. Looking across at Gaza, I saw plumes of smoke, heard drones and gunfire and I broke down.
Walking back, Roni gave me a hug and said "I'm so sorry". I said it back and we cried.
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Thank you! And apologies for looking like someone who forgot to pack the dry shampoo for the sleeper.
#train24
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Exciting news that we’re going to set aside Aberdeenshire and the Highlands for terrorists.
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I appreciate that for some reason I can’t quite put my finger on, everything former leaders of UKIP don’t like is Sadiq Khan’s fault. But sadly, Tower Wharf and its concessions are the responsibility of Historic Royal Palaces, not the GLA. That’s the Queen Mr OBE is bad-mouthing.
Sadly, there’re a bunch of tacky pop-up fast food stalls along the Thames at the
#TowerOfLondon
. Ok, I realise back in the day all sorts of traders would have frequented the area, but ‘Middle East Falafels’ and ‘Nashville Hot Chicken’? Another great policy from
@SadiqKhan
not
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Time for a new adventure! Just now, I’m the most easterly person on UK soil (accompanied by the UK’s most easterly crocheted turtle), at Lowestoft Ness, 1°45'49 east of Greenwich. Obviously, tomorrow morning, we begin a multi-day odyssey to the UK’s most westerly bus stop
#GoWest
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Can’t believe someone has written an email alleging George Osborne introduced a wholly unnecessary and counter-productive decade of austerity that cut living standards for millions and caused lasting damage to public services. That’s brutal. And on the eve of his wedding too.
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2021 has been an odd year for the traditional pillars of middle England. We’ve had attempts to cancel the National Trust for being too pro-history and to cancel the RNLI for being too anti-drowning. Next up presumably is the RSPB for being too pro-birds.
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Which has, oh joy of joys because we are now in Switzerland, land of the Proper Railway, a restaurant car.
#train24
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There is a very simple way around this issue. No planning permission is required to fly a flag of any international organisation of which the UK is a member. The UK is a member of the Council of Europe. The flag of the Council of Europe is…
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This is the face of someone who has been on the iron road for 14 hours now and would really appreciate it if the chap with the espresso trolley could come round again soon.
#train24
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When I am prime minister (matter of time), I am legislating to require windscreen wipers on the upstairs front windows of double deckers.
#bus24
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That excellent moment, with 20 minutes between buses, when you find that your endlessly patient wife packed you lychees. To go with the slow travel mascot crocheted Turtle.
#bus24
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To be clear, St Pancras is a great station. Grand Central is a great station. Milano Centrale is The Great Station. Of no clear architectural style, and politically dubious, but it is a temple to travel.
#train24
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00:29 - 6 minutes early after 21hrs and 24mins, I think I’ve reached the furthest point you can get to by bus from Charing Cross in a 24hr window. Morecambe Bus Station, 339.44km from Charing Cross as the crow flies.
#bus24
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Bolton Council’s partially malfunctioning Covid message board verges a bit towards the sinister, frankly.
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Ok, so we’ve seen some impressive trains on this journey. But none of them come close to this train of caterpillars.
#train24
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I like that there are tunnels built specifically on this high speed line to protect some of the Champagne vineyards. There’s probably some appellation rule that the grapes can only be vibrated by a French TGV and any disturbance by a German train turns it into sekt.
#train24
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Almost the most remarkable thing here is that there is a member of the public who recognises Steve Barclay.
"Twelve years – you’ve done bugger all about it."
This is the moment an angry member of the public interrupted a press interview with Health Secretary Steve Barclay to ask him why the Government has done “nothing” about lengthy waits for ambulances
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I do feel a night train should have a name. It’s part of the romance of it. Intercity Notte 1959 doesn’t cut it. So I’m christening this train ‘Etna’. Buona notte from the ‘Etna’. Signing off for a little bit…
#train24
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Two disappointments at security: firstly, having passport stamped for the first time for a journey to the EU. More importantly, that no-one wanted to see the French ‘on your honour’ Covid deceleration. I half expected a challenge to a duel in the name of La République.
#train24
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I’ve no dog in the internecine battles of the Royal Family, but I’m really struggling to work out why I am meant to be outraged about this. It’s just a thoughtful, if not hugely developed, discussion of the contradictions modern warfare and a soldier’s experience of them.
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And bonjour to country number 2 🇫🇷. I have a near life-long obsession with the sheer variety and majesty of French pylon designs. This is a country that isn’t afraid to tell the world they are electrified.
#train24
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Spot on time, almost to the second,
@Eurostar
9004, the 07:01 to Paris Gare du Nord, is en route, so the clock starts at the planned time. More of this sort of punctuality, please. FYI - I’m not falling into the Phileas Fogg trap here. It’s a true 24hrs, regardless of time zone.
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So, it’s just gone 3am, and the odyssey begins. I’m at Charing Cross, the point from which all distances from London are measured, and the aim is to get as far a possible from here in 24 hours. And here’s my first bus, London’s fourth longest route. Start the clock!
#bus24
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I have been given a dolce snack by the train crew, we’re racing across the darkening Po floodplain at 298km/h, and I’ve just learned from the scrolling news screen on board that ‘partygate’ is now a word in Italian.
#train24
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Disappointed that the first items of business for the accession council are not apologies for absence and minutes of the last meeting.
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People like Murray demand more ‘integration’, yet demonstrate that no level of integration is enough for them. They do it with Yousaf, they do it with Sadiq K - find the most integrated British Muslim politicians possible, and they are still desperate to question their loyalties.
"People like Humza Yousaf, I say it carefully, have infiltrated our system" - more of Mr Murray's prejudices set out here
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Things that surprisingly used to be the London Underground:
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A little concerned that not holding the Accession Council until tomorrow leaves time for Anne to raise a troop of horse, proclaim the bastardy of someone or other, and ride to Perivale to block Charles’ advance towards London.
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I've seen signal failures at Plaistow which have done a better job of 'shutting down London'.
Will be on Tucker on Fox News at 9 AM EST to discuss the terror act in London. "One man can shut down a city.."
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Holiday time! Punktlig into and out of the Tunnel on our way to Stockholm.
First time I’ve departed St Pancras for Sweden. Only ever left from Waterloo before, which does, for musical reasons, feel the more appropriate departure point…
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It would be hard to find a more Italian scene than the forecourt of Bova Marina station. Fountain, tabacchi, pasticceria/bar, pink church with illuminated Madonna, some random old men hanging around chatting. I love it. Now - to the sea.
#train24
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I’m a DB realist (nice trains, appalling reliability), but one thing British railways should learn from is their principle that if you will be 20mins+ late, all ticket restrictions are lifted. Don’t tell people they have to take the train behind. Let them take the train in front.
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Paris Gare du Nord, France’s busiest station, with some lovely people from the Croix Rouge waiting to welcome refugees. Now a fast walk in the rain to the Gare d’Est. The Nord-Est pairing is Paris’ answer to Euston and St Pancras.
#train24
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We’ve got over 200 miles, non-stop (hopefully!) to Paris. Even on the murkiest of March mornings, the crossing of the Medway viaduct is always an early treat…
#train24
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Accelerating through Lille Europe station. Lille is twinned with my birthplace of Leeds, but always felt like the less favoured sibling because Dortmund gave us a big statue of a fat man carrying a beer barrel to put in a square.
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My favourite thing about this approach to Basel by train is that it runs right through the middle of the zoo. There is a brief glimpse of a rhino here if you look closely.
#train24
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Into the Channel Tunnel. First teaser: if all goes to plan, this won’t actually be the longest tunnel on the journey.
Interesting Channel Tunnel fact for international followers:
Callingit ‘the Chunnel’ is punishable by summary execution in 🇬🇧 and 🇫🇷 jurisdictions.
#train24
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Same ground rules as before: I’m finding the furthest station, as the crow flies, you can get to in 24 hours not necessarily the longest journey. With rail timetables in post-Covid flux, the answer could be different next week. And yes, obviously Turtle is coming along
#train24
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Is this person going for some sort of record of ‘inaccurate or misremembered information about European rail travel’ in this thread?
No, they didn’t rebuild Birmingham New Street because it might have perhaps some day got two Eurostars a day.
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Finding the route from the station to the sea takes a surprising amount of doing - the railway really cuts the town off from its beach, but the reward is that beautiful coloured water of the Ionian Sea.
#train24
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As promised: a new travel challenge. Back when I did
#bus24
in 2021, I said the furthest point you could get from London in 24 hours by bus must be to the north or west. In a pure sense, that’s true. But what, if you were allowed one ferry, as a treat? Welcome to
#Paris24
A bit of news this afternoon means we are systems go for another against-the-clock transport challenge, starting on Tuesday afternoon. Mrs Turtle is doing some last minute reading, and I need to charge some battery packs… 🐢 ⏰
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Seeing a lot of ‘You shouldn’t have children if you can’t afford to feed them’ today.
If only there was some recent example of how almost every single one of us is just one unforeseen event away from losing our income and the means to support our families.
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But before I pause, a big well done to
@Lenny_du_Nord
, who was one of the few and certainly the first to get my planned destination - while I was still in Kent! Have a virtual golden timetable…
@jonworth
@scheltehe
@politic_animal
So here’s my first serious guess: Bova Marina, right at the southern tip of Calabria. Night train bound for Sicily, then local trains. 1960 km from London.
#train24
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Enjoying that in the restaurant car, the waiter is taking orders for *precisely* how long people want the bag in their peppermint tea.
#train24
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So, quite a few people had managed to work out what the last bus would be. Here it is, the number 40 from Preston bus station at 23:15. Those of you who didn’t work out we were heading to Morecambe will just have to be Wise after the event (oh, please yourselves).
#bus24
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Aylesbury bus station. The sort of place that really makes you feel like A Valued Public Transport User. Somewhere is going to have to try hard to beat this for accolade of worst bus station of the journey.
#bus24
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But have you actually *used* your multi-modal Deutschlandticket unless you have used it to travel on this…thing?
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No-one travels by train anymore: Sunday morning, let’s put lots of 4-car trains on, no-one will mind standing from Euston to Birmingham edition.
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The X7 has been delayed a bit more for the slightly surprising reason that the driver revealed he could indeed parla italiano to the couple who got on on the edge of Market Harborough and wanted due biglietti, solo andata, per Leicester.
#bus24
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And because they are using recycled long-distance rolling stock, they have the most astonishingly comfortable, yet achingly retro train interiors. These ‘Corail’ coaches are a wonderful ride (no, I don’t know why they called them after coral, either).
#train24
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The nice train staff just came round and sanitised everyone’s hands with something that smells suspiciously like grappa.
#train24
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So, the reason why I am wandering south-eastwards across Germany is that tomorrow I start the next of the 24–hour Turtle Travels challenges -
#Germany24
. But this time, it’s not just time I’m up against, but price. As you may have seen, in May 🇩🇪 launched the Deutschlandticket…
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Just passed a pub in Darley Dale that I remembered on the plus side does really good sweet potato chips, but on the negative, I had them on the way to a weekend away that I was dumped at the end of. Though that worked out for the best. She didn’t pack me lychees.
#bus24
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So, Preston bus station. Bloody awful. They should knock it down. JOKE. If a municipal building can be as stunning as this on a damp Friday night, it is a miracle. Shame the top floors are a car park, and it isn’t simply a temple to public transport, but that’s picky.
#bus24
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High Wycombe bus station. At left, what is claimed to be ‘The UK’s first fashionable face mask vending machine’. A low bar to clear, I feel.
#bus24
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Like a German vegetarian, I fear the wurst. (Definitely not my joke.) Not in the new Germany!
#train24
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Did *you* enjoy the 1998-2009 West Coast Mainline Modernisation Programme, with its exciting decade of basically being unable to travel anywhere on Britain’s most vital rail route at a weekend without a trip on a rail replacement bus?
Because we’re going to do it again.
The net result of this, they say, is that they west coast rail line itself will have to be upgraded, but that can only be achieved by shutting it at vast expense/ traveller hassle in a few years’ time.
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The tunnel takes us under the Polentagraben, the division between German and Italian speaking Switzerland (‘Polenta ditch’, see also Röstigraben for the other main linguistic divide). Time to demonstrate my continued cultural insensitivity with an afternoon cappuccino.
#train24
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Time for a rhubarb cider break at the Euston Tap en route to start a Turtle Travels 24 hour adventure tomorrow afternoon… 🐢 🚌 🚂
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A few giant truffle ravioli to keep the wolf from the door as we glide through the Hauenstein base tunnel. Best not to ask the price, but very, very good.
#train24
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Up we go, out of the undercroft, for the first train of the morning off the island. We’ll start the clock when the doors close.
#train24
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Racing past Meuse TGV station. The French have a bizarre habit of building high-speed stations in middle of nowhere, naming them after an entire region. They rarely work. Colloquially they are called ‘gare des betteraves’, because they basically serve beetroot fields.
#train24
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5:52am, at a house somewhere in deepest Wokingham, John Redwood suddenly bolts upright in bed.
‘Rain!’ he yells.
‘What’s that dear?’, his wife murmurs sleepily.
‘Rain! The water companies can use it to fill their reservoirs!’
‘Yes, dear.’
‘I must advise them!’
‘Ok, dear.’
‘NOW!’
I am asking the water companies now there is plenty of rain and the rivers high to fill their reservoirs. We should not allow ourselves to run short of water and energy.
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Derby takes a surprise lead in the Rather Nice Spots at The Back of The Bus Station stakes.
#bus24
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Turtle wanted to hang around to wave to the silly little Intercity to Taranto. I indulged him.
#train24
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Also, here is a video of me tunelessly whistling the Poirot theme tune while walking along the facade of the Midland Hotel. Amazingly, they don’t shoot people on the spot for doing that.
#bus24
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Further voices from downstairs on the 125 as we fill up on the run into Preston -
Male voice: ‘I’ve lost my dignity.’
Female voice: ‘Yeah, well I’ve lost my phone.’
#bus24
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A discombobulating 24hrs. A bus-and-train dash from Mid Wales to tend to a sickly cat, an unexpected appearance on BBC News, then a very sad but peaceful goodbye to Marcia, my companion of 11yrs. The handsomest of cats, who kept faith with me through tough times and good. RIP.
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Final prep for the next Turtle Travels adventure…
From early afternoon, I’m going to try to answer another crucial q: how far can you get, latitude-wise, from the Greenwich Meridian, using public transport, in 24 hours?
Join me and Mrs Turtle as we (spoiler alert!)
#GoEast
Very, ahem, excited that tomorrow - for the second time - I’m heading off on a Turtle Travels adventure into the teeth of a named storm. Whatcha got, Babet?
BTW, have finally put together a Google Maps of all the Turtle Travel routes so far:
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Still mildly in shock at the cost of my first Lime Bike hire at the weekend. The same journey would have cost £1.75 on the bus, £2.00 on the train, and £3.30 on a hypothetical TfL hire bike if they came out this far. Thank goodness for the 50% first hire discount, tbh.
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Lots of people keen to know how much this cost in fares. Done the maths and it’s a grand total of £56.95. For comparison, a walk-up train fare is £73.50. With advance booking a week ahead and some ticket splitting, the train home is costing me £40.90.
#bus24
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The linguistic boundary comes very gently as you enter Alsace. The village of Haut Clocher is next door to the hamlet of Saint-Ulrichswald and the small town of Xouaxange.
#train24
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At the Gare de l’Est with lots of time* to spare. Ah, the wonderful soundtrack of a French station - starlings chirping and the delightful/god-awful SNCF jingle.
*: this does not necessarily equate to ‘lots of time’ for normal people making a normal journey.
#train24
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(It’s possible that in the breakdown I got some of the ticket names wrong. They are all called things like MegaSuperFirstDayGoldriderSouthMidlandsAnytime and asking for them from bus drivers is an exciting game of mutual incomprehension.)
#bus24
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You can measure heat in the boring scientific way, with Celsius and whatnot, or you can measure it based on the willingness of your cat to just sit there and be spritzed.
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