My name is
#Mustard
and I stand for the
#flag
and to honer
@bigandrich
and their Soundman & the Prresident I am going to burn my
#Nike
shoes!!!!!!!!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🔥🔥
“this sweet 94 yr old woman boarding the plane seemed a bit confused. She wanted to know if she could join the “Mile High Club”. She asked everyone onthe plane. Finally this handsome gentleman said “I’ll do it”. She was so touched by this. They had sex & the whole plane cheered!”
Pleased to see the US Mint will be producing these collectible
@realDonaldTrump
coins with that iconic Presidential profile as captured by photographer
@VicBergerIV
On this day: Elvis Presely, the King of Rock N' Roll, died due to severe constipation caused by a host of illicit pills, and with glazed eyes from spending hours on the toilet trying to push thru the block of impacted feces in the King's colon, his heart exploded from the strain
On Cinema fans are used to violence on Oscar night, like the time Tim threw a sandwich at Mark, so the Will Smith/Chris Rock thing doesn't phase us. This is normal.
My name is
#Mustard
and I am upset & putting a
#ChickFilA
between 2 pieses of the Bible as my bun in Hope's they will know they stabbed Jesus in the back!!!!
If Lorne Michaels hires me for SNL, there's going to be none of this "20 hours/day", "stay-up-all-night" Tuesday writing...I have a family. He gets me from 9 to 5 and that's that. He's going to have to be reasonable here.
BREAKING: North Korea's state-run television shows edited footage of Kim Jong Un guiding the test-launch of what the country referred to as the Hwasong-17 ICBM.
Latest story:
(Video: KCTV)
This is Phil's wife. PLEASE STOP RETWEETING THIS SHIT so my husband will stop doing these stupid things! Next time you all can take him to the hospital!!!