Pitch
@pitchjokes
Followers
19K
Following
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Media
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Statuses
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Pitch was an app and community of comedy writers. All posts original and paid. Recollect Pitch in your home for eternity with some final merch at the link!
California
Joined July 2016
new lacroix flavors! -transported in a truck near bananas -hint of hint of lime -single skittle dissolved in water -shy watermelon -imagine like, a strawberry but with low battery
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Did you know trees have their own internet to share nutrients (and super hot bee videos)? All episodes of HIGH SCIENCE are now streaming on @hbomax and @discoveryplus! @mattklinman @bigzackpoitras @paul_bettany
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The TREES episode of High Science has some of the most mind blowing facts of the whole series. All episodes are streaming now on @hbomax and @discovery! @bigzackpoitras @mattklinman
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50 thousand years ago there were SIX different species of human living on Earth at once! One of a million crazy facts our amazing researchers @Julia_SCI and @mervyndeganos dug up! People keep telling me they can't believe how much they learn from the show and it's thanks to them!
Let's talk about some different species of humans. 🍃💨 Watch new episodes of @FunnyOrDie’s #HighScience Wednesdays at 10p ET on @Discovery.
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Chris won Pitch and all he got was a redbubble mug. Enjoy the jack, Chris. You earned it.
Beloved defunct joke writing app @pitchjokes sent me a mug in what I am sure was a heartfelt gesture and not a craven attempt to offload merch. Thanks, guys! Can't wait to jack off in this!
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Final housekeeping: - Still need to export your pitches? You've got 30 days to DM @grumpy_yin. Include your email in your request. - Merch store remains open https://t.co/HLemWJTL0H - Download @bradmahler's classic Pitch sounds! Make 'em yer ringtone!
redbubble.com
PitchMerch is an independent artist creating amazing designs for great products such as t-shirts, stickers, posters, and phone cases.
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Now that @pitchjokes is gone, where will i sell high brow comedy like this?!
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It's been a humbling and rare honor to build and run @pitchjokes these 5 years. I am so grateful for all the kind words from so many of the app's writers over the past month. It hasn't made ending it easier, but it's made it better. My final address:
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today @pitchjokes will be unplugged & sent to the big app store in the sky. @mattklinman put his entire heart into this thing & gave 1000s of comedians a place to try out their dumb ideas. it was a great first paid writing job, even if all the money went to paying Trump’s taxes.
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Worst Final Pitch Topics -A better name for “Jews” -Ways a Fleshlight has revolutionized Chewbacca's life -👽😸 Bugs & Tech Questions 🙈🤖 -Ways we could've saved Pitch if we'd tried like a year ago -This one
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Post any last things you’d like to get off your chest @marcusdayhooray @SharonSpell @beebooba @mattklinman / topic by @LowellCBenjamin #pitchjokes Goodbye, Farewell and Amen @mattklinman @grumpy_yin @pitchjokes
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Things To Make The World Better -Mimes are allowed to talk -Complete redesign of geese -Leather interior -Ask Mars what’s working so well for them -Just let your cat on the counter already
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And for you Pitch heads, co-founders @grumpy_yin and @bradmahler are gonna be co-hosting too. AIN'T TO BE MISSED.
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Dearest Followers! Pitch is SHUTTING DOWN! DYING! PLUG PULLED! We are all very sad but join us for one last blow out party and tournament tonight! 6pt/9et! https://t.co/Tt6WWCtejJ Feat. @ChrisXMorgan @Videotapezzz @HeavenlyGrandpa @important_celeb Host @mattklinman and more!
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Accessories For a Successful Nude Pic -Corn cob pipe -A diagram of healthy genitalia -A big jar of honey -Mitch McConnell’s decapitated head -Removed clothes folded neatly and in frame
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