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ape attack survivor Profile
ape attack survivor

@pissvortex

Followers
20,603
Following
650
Media
2,489
Statuses
10,523

“Purveyor of misinformation” - Dan Evon, Snopes | @gorilla__radio

donkey kong's house
Joined August 2018
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
6 years
online and ready to upload posts
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 months
imagine seeing a jewish guy crawl out from a secret sewer tunnel in new york city, not having your phone out to record it, and trying to tell people without sounding like the most antisemitic person alive
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
damn that’s crazy. btw what was he doing in somalia
@CNNPolitics
CNN Politics
3 years
BREAKING: CIA officer killed in combat in Somalia
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
it’s so funny that Spaghetti Westerns are called that because they were directed by Italians. imagine if people started calling marvel movies Hamburger Shonen
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 months
Shut the fuck up Joe Biden this is important please pay your respects to Goku
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 months
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
opening animal crossing and just watching your villagers on the title screen
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
6 months
i think it’s so beautiful that “going nonverbal” means getting shy and quiet at a party to a bunch of people now. social media is so cool. have this many people ever wanted to be autistic like this before
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
7 months
something unspoken but absolutely true is that if you are ever grievously injured you can increase your swag tenfold by doing shit like this. if you ever lose an eye you can just roll up looking like venom snake
@NFL_Stats
NFL Stats
7 months
David Njoku arrives to the stadium in a mask after suffering burns to his face and hands in an accident… He’s questionable to play today.
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 months
Her: Quit playing My silly ass:
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
you can tell the free market is working really well when nobody can buy a graphics card for months because a handful of rich dudes running coal-powered crypto mines with the electricity usage of a small country buy the entire stock in .6 seconds
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
can't imagine anything more miserable than communicating with your friends like this at all times
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
Can they do that??
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
10 months
Oppenheimer would have been a better movie if all the famous physicists were introduced like Hideo Kojima characters with their names on screen
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
17 days
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
you people are all going to die
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
10 months
he’s gonna die of something really funny
@ColinKeeley
Colin Keeley
10 months
Bryan Johnson spends $2 million a year to be 18 years old again. In 2021, he reduced his epigenetic age by 5.1 years in 7 months (a world record) His 13-steps for a long healthy life:
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
the 14-19 year old demographic is running this website like the Navy this shit is so crazy
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
6 months
sorry but it’s really fucking funny that biden handled the palestine situation so bad that there are white teens on tiktok posting that Osama Bin Laden was right. he’s so fucked
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
dont listen to this fuckin egghead steal anything you want from disney
@TillyTweets
Chris Tilly
5 years
Don’t pirate anything. Even it’s something you really want to watch, but which doesn’t launch in your country immediately. Just don’t pirate.
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
Conservatives currently buying pronoun candy bars. Monitoring the situation closely
@PrayTheRosary12
Pray The Rosary
1 year
@JeremyDBoreing This is great
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
7 months
i love that youtube wealth has allowed Mr Beast to self-fund Harry Harlow style unethical psychological torture
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 months
idk who twomad is but it’s crazy to see someone livetweet overdosing and just die at their computer. this is like a digital forensics scene
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 month
The sun is actually like this forever now. Because you smoked weed
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 months
This guy is a fucking sicko
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
i think its finally sunk in that i’m completely out of touch with a massive chunk of society because why does one person who appears in Mr. Beast videos sometimes have almost 30000 replies from hustle grindset finance psychos screaming that this person is doing a gender
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 years
French man reacting to flavor that is not “ashtray” for the first time in his life
@lavitalenta
Lord of Leisure
2 years
A French man reacts to trying Coca-Cola for the first time (1950s)
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
11 months
on the pride parade “boyfriend of bi girlfriend” float with the other guys we’re chopping it up and hanging out. we’re all standing on the float holding a beer and they’re all cheering for us. more than the other floats even
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 month
Bro hop on this new 4 player online indie game with me. it was made in Unity in 3 weeks and it costs as much as a disappointing meal from a fast food restaurant. Yup, stylized graphics. No we will not be playing it in two weeks.
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
8 months
i no joke just got permanently banned from twitch with no chance of appeal for Terrorism (building the twin towers in minecraft)
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
Imagine if you will a big fucking scary ape pulling you apart and killing you and beating and biting you to death
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
this is how the views feature makes me feel
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 months
I told him he can’t eat my food so now he’s looking at me like this
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
Yeah baby
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
conservatives are going to hate the military by 2024. they are going to call marines “antifa soyboys” and it’s going to be so fucking funny
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 month
kinda cooked us here
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
23 days
CATEGORY 5 REDDIT EVENT IMMINENT 🚨🚨
@DiscussingFilm
DiscussingFilm
23 days
Keanu Reeves has been cast as Shadow in ‘SONIC 3’
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
7 months
only gay people heard that beep
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
Greta Thunberg: Andrew Tate, your momma is so fat, that, when she steps on the scale it shows her phone number 😛 Young Adult Fiction Author: No. No! I’m sorry Greta, but body shaming is NEVER ok. You can do SO much better than this (gif of ABC original show)
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
9 months
Obama was pioneering the world’s most powerful Bi woman acquisition techniques in the 1980s
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@nypost
New York Post
9 months
Barack Obama told ex, ‘I make love to men daily, but in the imagination,’ letter shows
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
11 months
look at the replies on this one. new york conservatives are gonna start going outside and sucking in smoke until they turn into a fallout 3 super mutant over this shit
@TheInsiderPaper
Insider Paper
11 months
JUST IN - US experts say to wear N95 mask for safety from Canada's wildfire smoke - New York Times
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
YESSSS
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
conservatives are going to hate the military by 2024. they are going to call marines “antifa soyboys” and it’s going to be so fucking funny
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
sorry to be a Hater but this dog is being rewarded when he says funny and interesting shit that goes viral. it doesn’t actually know what its saying. the dog is on antidepressants because its a fuckin Doodle mix and their human-pleasing behavior drive makes them insanely anxious
@ShenaeCurry
The Rogue Princess | 🇵🇸
1 year
Y’all remember that dog on tiktok that was trained to communicate with those buttons?? Why the fuck the dog on antidepressants now and having an existential crisis asking why it’s a dog…………
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
6 months
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
anyone who has ever bemoaned living through world events in the age of social media is lame. the day that guy blew shinzo abe apart with a doohickey was the funniest couple of hours on the internet ever
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
the cia, well known for stopping terrorism in foreign countries
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 years
Grug Find Rock (2,600,000 BCE)
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 months
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
11 months
i know they had these animators chained up in a room screaming foaming at the mouth trying not to animate her doing the Akira bike slide until the second movie
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 months
What was supposed to happen here exactly. Why did he let this happen
@HasPause
HasPause
2 months
esteemed wikipedia reader stephen bonecelli the third:
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
6 months
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 months
CEO of Tumblr is currently having a SomethingAwful-mod-level public meltdown trying to flame war his own users. it’s incredible, they really are not sending their best
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
8 months
i love how you can tell when he’s just finished watching youtube shorts or something and assumes everyone in the crowd has seen it like it’s the news
@mannyfidel
manny
8 months
i cannot breathe WHAT is he talking about
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 years
Customer: SUPER MARIOS CATCHPHRASE, SAYS IT WHEN HE JUMPS IN THE GAME DMV: NOT WHAT HE SAYS Verdict: DENIED
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
11 months
Paradox Interactive had to hide like 100 replies of people arguing about lolicon hentai on this post
@PdxInteractive
Paradox Interactive
1 year
"In Sweden people make games but they're just maps. Nobody knows how to play them and people just stare at them for hours and watch them change colors."
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
10 months
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
6 months
Breaking Transgender 👩
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
5 months
what if this post said mouse instead of mousegirl. has anyone ever thought to ask this before
@_Holly_Fox
This Fox is Listening and Engaged 💍🦊💖
2 years
Good evening
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
10 months
I’ve always found Dril’s humor highly Caucasian
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 years
JK Rowling: Today a homeless bloke tried to mansplain me into handing him some spare quid. Imagine his shock when I told him that I am the woman who invented being poor 40 year old who still watches Harry Potter: Youre an inspiration to us all Joanne. You’re all I have left
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
"hey ive been really going through it lately, do you mind if i vent for a bit?" "yeah look im already making myself emotionally available to someone else right now, do you mind if i screenshot you reaching out in a time of need and post it on twitter for clout though?"
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
Chris Pratt
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
no way they aren’t stuffing him full of other peoples’ organs like frankenstein’s monster. nothing in that body is prince phillip’s anymore. he’s a human ship of theseus
@ABC
ABC News
3 years
📸: Prince Philip leaves King Edward VII’s Hospital in London after a one-month stay.
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
it’s kind of hilarious how quickly “decentralized currency” was immediately centralized entirely into the hands of people who already had a lot of money
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
6 months
Searching “Hot dog” on footy scran just to piss myself off
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
DOG LOVERS! Please, please do not vote for Joe Biden! This is so sick and heartbreaking!!! 😢😡
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
azealia banks is really funny to me because no matter how much open contempt she has for her gay/trans fans they love her anyways so she has to keep playing to that audience. she’s pidgeonholed herself into being a gay icon and she hates every second of it
@AzealiaNews
Azealia Banks News
1 year
Azealia Banks shares her thoughts on Candace Owens’ recent transphobic comments via Instagram
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 months
do yourself a favor and search “Sheetz White chocolate” on the platform of your choice
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
@Riggs024 wow really? i hope the CIA finds the villains responsible for training and arming Al Qaeda,
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 months
King Charles after one sip of that Potion of Fortify Smithing
@GBNEWS
GB News
3 months
'The King will not be one for chemotherapy, he has always argued against it. He's a great believer in natural herbs, potions and things like that.' Royal expert, Tom Bower, discusses the King's cancer diagnosis. 🔓 Become a GB News Member:
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
treating all interactions with my close friends as if they were a transaction and wondering why i dont have very many friends
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
i know these peoples pee is dark as hell. i just know that shit burns
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
EEAO is one of those movies where everyone seemed to agree it was an interesting and enjoyable movie until it started becoming massively successful and now people are acting like it’s normie slop
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
10 months
this is for sure a top 10 thing to tweet right before being executed by the taliban
@real_lord_miles
Lord Miles
1 year
Who unfollowed me? was it you? *grabs you by the throat and slams you against the wall* YOU’RE MINE! You’re NOT allowed to unfollow me! *growls and playfully bites you’re neck and pees a little bit*
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
the liberals took away lola bunny’s fat fucking tits cancel culture has gone too far!!!!
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
i want all fast food to come out slower. i want people to wait 10 minutes for their slop while the workers get paid 20/hr to smoke a bowl in the walk in freezer
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
baby yoda canon baby yoda canon baby yoda canon
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 month
he didn’t win the magazine photo contest so we’re shipping him off to the oil rig
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
it’s gonna be so cool when a tesla malfunctions and catches on fire in this tunnel and the people inside can’t open their doors to escape and the emergency vehicles can’t fit inside the tunnel and it just becomes a multi-billion dollar concrete tomb with RGB corsair lights
@saint
SAINT
3 years
Kylie Jenner showing off The Boring Company tunnel in Las Vegas 👀 🔥 @elonmusk
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
7 months
this is quite possibly the most successful assassination in human history
@nowwarmom
NoWay2022
7 months
By Kyodo: >Many in Japan have reported financial problems involving the Unification Church, which has also been notorious for "spiritual sales," in which it pressures people to buy vases and other items for exorbitant prices through the use of threats,↓
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
29 days
The foul and odious toad
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
5 years
me watching the pizza man drive to my location on the domino's live map
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
conservatives are going to hate the military by 2024. they are going to call marines “antifa soyboys” and it’s going to be so fucking funny
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
youtube algorithm suggested shorts of wealthy men on a podcast talking really fast with single-word-at-a-time captions has ruined an entire generation of men. this is what kids were watching all day while they had their zoom classes muted for 2 years straight
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
bro WHAT
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@GameSpot
GameSpot
4 years
Bethesda Games issues a statement regarding the death of board member Robert Trump
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
5 months
last words voice chat is the funniest feature ever put into a shooter game. killing someone and immediately hearing the gunshots from their mic and a guy screaming “doggg this game is FUCKING TRA-“ and going completely silent
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 years
Pro tip for anyone moving to tumblr because of the elon musk buyout! ✨💖 Tumblr users will often list what is wrong with them in their bios, or in special informational “carrds”. You can use this information to score a critical hit in battle
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
i know damn well the twitter employees were fighting for their lives trying to hold back the reddit gold update for this long. god rest our fallen soldiers who tried to prevent this
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
imagining a conservative guy with a peanut allergy tearfully eating a She/Her chocolate bar and trying to hide the wrapper
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 years
disney logging into a dead guy’s account to plug their new movie
@chadwickboseman
Chadwick Boseman
2 years
WAKANDA FOREVER
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
10 months
in this AMA the CEO of Tumblr said they are “seriously in the red financially” and are “considering adding a donation system like Wikipedia” lmfao
@tumblr
tumblr dot com the website and app
10 months
psst — are you tuning into our live AMA happening RIGHT NOW????
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
10 months
genuinely curious if the people who follow elon around like this all day are sentient in any meaningful sense of the word. i’m not sure if they know they’re alive
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
2 months
Please check in on your Mexican friends
@DB_official_en
DRAGON BALL OFFICIAL
2 months
Information ; Dear Friends and Partners
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
3 years
people on tumblr are making fun of twitter because of all the insane discourse on here recently. humiliating! it’s like getting bullied by the band kids
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
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@ShaykhSulaiman
Sulaiman Ahmed
1 year
Andrew Tate - Medical Update possible Cancer The CT report is extremely alarming. Andrew Tate may have lung Cancer. Urgent biopsy needed & a 6 month delay could be fatal There are reports he lost 10kgs in weight which is also a sign of cancer. Cancer could be incurable now
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
4 years
goku gets punched a lot in dragon ball z
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
1 year
sorry to join in on making this guy the main character of twitter today or whatever but i’m interested to know what his definition of Gentrification is that it includes seasoning crackers but not a Seattle-based pop-up restaurant chef opening a private dinner club in Raleigh, NC
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@pissvortex
ape attack survivor
7 months
Pickles’ first birthday party
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