Sticktard Sammy
@picklesDaMan
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
630
volunteer firefighter by day, vigilante by night. made a full court shot one time. devoted to the tide suggmabawls
Joined March 2023
No woman can give me the same feeling that opening this cooler just did
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Two of my boys got in an actual fight in a public parking lot over calling shotgun.
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@BRotsniffer I’m going b3 since it’s the most exposed and I’m a bitch about the cold. Gotta replace it instantly though.
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Drunk enough to say I’m tired of the “white boy” and “left hates this” nonsense, it was funny when it was original.
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Stg my boy just got so racked that he took a bite out of the paper towel roll. P.S.Tide by 90
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Cant put a bunch of 18-22 year olds in tuxedos, give them free liquor and expect them not to commit crimes against humanity.
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@aldotcom He finally let the intrusive thoughts win. If you’ve been to this bass pro you know the temptation.
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Took three(3) geebs from this guy and realized it was DP instead of water. May die in my sleep stay tuned
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My friend claims he didn’t do this last night while fucked up. He has a large bruise on the side of his forehead
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Friends dad caught him smoking and thought he invented the geeb.
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First day back in ttown. I think we may have lost the security deposit.
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Stats on the course today:.- 14/18 holes finished.- nearly 2 bystanders decapitated.- 1 club thrown.- 3 “how does that even happen”s.- ♾️ threats to jump off the nearest bridge.
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Movie recs? Down for anything but requesting a mind fuck.
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Need to know everyone’s favorite Christmas song. This is my GOAT
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Came across a shitty wooden ramp on the beach at the lake. Towing it to the middle and ramping a shitty surfboard off of it is a fantastic idea right?
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Got in the Uber to go home for the night and driver said “good morning guys”.
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Date insisted on sticking her fingers down my throat while i was yakking last night. I can pull my own trigger woman.
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Inexplicably hungover and I’ve been manually breathing since I took that dab an hour ago.
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I would rather staple a cheese grater to my nutsack and run a 5K than consume alcohol at the moment.
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Inevitable part of having a burner; drunk tweeting shit way too out of pocket and deleting it first thing in the morning.
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How do I get the job of being on aux in Bryant Denny for bama games? I’d have the place going fucking berserk.
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Crazy bitch of the week: my boy broke up with her a week ago and she SNUCK into his house today and split his computer in half.
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Fuck I love FDOC. Glad I didn’t wear boxers today there’s some serious talent walking around.
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Just watched @hesforsurechill play chess for an hour in stats class. Pretty much what I’d expect from a moderately chill guy.
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Sunny thursday + March madness + shots around the world date party = me ending up naked in a public area tonight.
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Rolled 15 deep into the bar on a Monday. Who else doon it like this?
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Tie on, drink in hand, watch on wrist—Sammy’s feeling good(my date has a bf)(I’m a clown).
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Real conversation with my pal:.-“yooo that girl is hot set me up”.-“last time you were here she rejected you to your face”.-“bullshit when did that happen”.
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New Year’s resolution to stop doing cheese coming back to get me 10 minutes after the ball drops
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The American troops(my boys&I) are getting ready to board the boats(charter bus) to storm the beaches of Normandy(nola). We all don the uniform(barbour khakis). “They ain’t never seen white boys like us before,” I whisper into my comrades ear.
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New fantasy punishment everyone chip in and make the loser wear these for a summer.
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Only 10:45am and i know it’s gonna a rob the Waffle House on the Strip type of night.
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So down bad I searched funny animal videos on Instagram to make myself feel better.
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At first glance it seems ordinary but this photo is a staple of the burner community
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Saw the ex lady earlier and spoke a friendly greeting. Said she had a bf before even saying hey back. Seeee yaaaaaaa
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Been here for barely 48 hrs. Phone shattered, wallet is gone, got swerved by a broad last night. Never taken so many Ls in so little time.
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I’m gonna shit n throw up everywhere in my first class of the semester my stomach feels like shredded cheese.
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Collin sexton high school mixtape is damn underrated I’m ready to run through a wall for the game tonight
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CutCo recruiters after adding every suburban white teenager in Birmingham on snapchat
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Walked into room blacked last night at 4am and got all up in her Juicifer(allegedly).
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I feel the skin burning from my flesh walking to class.
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Lemme get a Dune popcorn bucket with no popcorn and extra butter. Hope that thang grippy.
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Been told “you look fucked up rn” three(3) times. Can a kid just have a good time?.
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Fuck out of here if you think I’m walking around with a lunchbox all day, I was a brown paper bag kid #nodebate.
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“I don’t want you to think I’m a slut and have sex the first time we hang out.”. Hate to break it to u broad but either way I’m absolutely telling everyone we did.
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@kingedger76 This is actually one of the worst takes I’ve seen on this app and that’s saying quite a bit.
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Busted red truck in front of me didnt pull forward when the light turned green. Tapped on my horn and instantly a black girl around 6 years old pokes her head up in the back window and gives me a double bird.
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Two days away from the flight and I already taste the el presidente.
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Amazon prime having ads now and Netflix cant do different households. Streaming companies not even trying to hide the greed.
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@blowjackson_ Every single one of u is private now. Hate to see the fall of a growing society.
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