Paul New
@paulnew
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Turns tea into games.
London, UK
Joined January 2008
What proportion of pumpkins carved worldwide this Halloween will be of Drumpf? Correct colour, pumpkin guts as realistic hair, etc, etc
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Brexiteers are sounding increasingly like Marxists: the theory is perfect, it just hasn't been implemented properly...
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The only thing more exhausting than going to IKEA is going back to IKEA because one of the boxes you picked up was the wrong box
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Carl Sagan wrote this in 1996, and now I think he’s either a time traveler or a witch.
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This headline is so precious. Like a puppy seeing snow for the very first time:
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TIL that saying “six hundred and sixty six” in Welsh can cause serious larynx injuries for electoral returning officers.
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Tory insiders now saying that they've lost every marginal constituency that Theresa May has visited #BBCelection
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And they say Shoreditch is getting less Shoreditchy: just seen a man wearing an air-pollution mask, pulled down so that he could smoke…
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Every time I see a baby boomers vs. millennials tweet I wonder if they realize there's a whole generation in between who hates them both.
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“Well, you see, that part of our game’s story is explained in the upcoming tie-in novel where thearrrghleblaaaarghht;suu&edvbijf!bmorpmorp…”
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Sci-fi where the president has lost his mind and everyone knows because his private thoughts keep appearing on little slabs in their pockets
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If you had discovered there was a massive multilayered conspiracy in the deepest levels of the government against you, would you go golfing?
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Dear @GiantStPauls, I think this email subject line could have done with a grammar check before being sent 😳
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Corporate life is having to ask the building manager to disable the smoke alarm before being allowed to make pancakes.
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Here is your hourly reminder to never buy any “Internet-of-Things” devices:
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