fangmeli
@pangmeli
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there may come a time when I leave twitter. should that time come, if you want a one-time email update on where I go next, you can sign up here:
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about once a week I think of that redditor who posted to r/legaladvice that he was finding unsettling post-it notes inside his place (presumably from his landlord) and another redditor clocked that the poster had carbon monoxide poisoning and was leaving himself the notes
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I don't trust girlboss companies who use intimate gal pal language with their workers any more than I trusted techbro companies who installed ping pong tables for their workers. absent of actual worker protections, informality is just an accelerant for work-life boundary erosion
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I love when there's physical chemistry but it would be a bad idea to act on it so whenever you're around each other you both diplomatically pretend there isn't this ancient animal awareness between your bodies
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this is the most on-the-nose representation of marijuana sales as a vector for anti-blackness I've seen yet
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landlords are the only investors I've encountered who expect their investment revenue to remain constant & level no matter what the market forces are
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white people think diversity is 50% white people and 50% every other race lol
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the fuck are you honking at me for??? you're flying around in a climate controlled invincibility chariot while I'm out here on my hind legs propelling myself through unfiltered space one step at a time with only my muscles I don't give a SHIT about your hyperconvenience
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I didn't know this. it makes me think of how private sector companies (and their politicians) cultivate the perception that they're an upgrade and would 'do it better' if they took over public services, when they're actually punching in an astronomically lower weight class
Reminder that USPS makes more deliveries in sixteen days than UPS and FedEx combined ship in an entire year
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apropos of nothing here's an incredible QWOP cosplayer from 2013
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explaining 'the cloud' to beginners: when a file is saved to your computer, it's like having money under a mattress. you can only access it at home & if your home burns down you lose it. whereas the cloud is like a bank: you can access files anywhere, but the institution is evil
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wild that disney made a movie about a hot fat dom lesbian sea witch who dies desperately & unsuccessfully trying to use her witchcraft to prove to a straight girl that her father is a maniac & her bf only cares about her superficially
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interesting to see how instagram reels, tiktoks etc have perfectly reproduced teen girl magazines. 1000 hair styling ideas, workouts that promise miraculous results, romanticized lifestyle shoots featuring only thin, conventionally attractive models, melodramatic stories etc etc
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huge injustice that orange (left) has had more commercial success than orange (right). orange (left) is an insult to orange – corporate, spiritually weak, no umami at all
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the poster had also set up a webcam, which he thought his landlord tampered with. he later figured out that in his carbon monoxide-addled state he never connected the webcam to anything. he just... created a computer folder named WEBCAM thinking the files would somehow go into it
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anyway the obvious irony is that the poster was right that the problem was his landlord, he was just wrong about how lol
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I really resent the idea that what mainstream porn lacks for the female viewer is 'romance' when what's actually lacking, to a pathological degree, is sexual tension
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staring drunkenly at the splayed-open chip bag on our table at the bar and was so struck by its beauty I took a photo and it really is that beautiful
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plotlines about shallow, uptight big city people coming to a small town and discovering community, human kindness etc drive me insane because – as someone who grew up in a small town, population 2,500 – it works the complete opposite way. big city culture is the humanizing one
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I found the webcam subplot interesting because it reminds me of how impaired my analytic thinking is when I'm dozing off or dreaming — my mind either thinks things 'add up' that don't, or it senses that things aren't linking together logically and strains to correct it but can't
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fond AIM memories
me: [installing AIM just to chat with girl I had a crush on]
AIM: [door opening sound, girl is online]
me: [heart leaps]
me:
me:
me:
AIM: [door closing sound, girl is offline]
me: that
me: was
me: amazing
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one problem with imposter syndrome discourse is that some people are actually imposters who are correctly sensing that they're out of their league, and we're talking them out of their own self-awareness
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I can't stand love actually but the scene where emma thompson's cheating husband says "I'm a classic fool" and she replies "yes, but you've also made a fool out of me. you've made the life I lead foolish, too" is the most succinct distillation of heterosexuality I've ever seen
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me vouching for a man's character: he has been, during the time that I've known him, in the capacity or context in which I know him and in that capacity or context alone, notwithstanding any potential deceptions or omissions on his part which I have not detected or been privy to,
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the wording 'that body of yours is absurd' is not nearly interesting or idiosyncratic enough to warrant canonization as a meme. not in 2022. god. logged back in and I feel like moses discovering his israelites regressed back to idol worship
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I don't get it. rental income is very simple and straightforward in terms of investment risk: you get a substantive cut of someone's employment income, so if their employment is hit, your investment is hit. yet here we have all these landlords with the shocked pikachu face
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'changing your body irreversibly' is an interesting terror given that all beings undergo a cascade of irreversible physical change from conception until well after death. if you want to lie still on the conveyor belt that's your prerogative but you WILL get transformed either way
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finally dug up the shania twain song that no one but me seems to remember. absolutely astounding opening verse
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all my respect to this barista who willingly made my order "hot chocolate with so little chocolate it's more like a memory of chocolate" and then called out HOT CHOCOLATE WITH A MEMORY OF CHOCOLATE in front of everyone when it was ready
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you'll never be done moisturizing. you skin will never stay moist. you'll have to keep manually moisturizing yourself until the day you die. the day you dry
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companies with casual cultures get coded as good/cool in opposition to the stuffy, formal white collar workplaces of yore, but that opposition is solely aesthetic. if your company is actually good/cool, it'll put worker benefits, a union or a cooperative model where its mouth is
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a lot of cis people use 'learning someone's pronoun' as a copout from doing the important internal work of actually reconsidering their impression of the person's gender
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I resent how today's white collar companies invoke personal concepts like 'passion' and 'values' to obfuscate the true transactional nature of work, because they know they gain advantage in the transaction if they convince workers to not see it as transactional at all
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ursula: this guy?? this guy??? this guy wouldn't even care if you couldn't communicate
ariel: feel like he really *saw* me in that rowboat tho
ursula: look I literally just made myself a brunette & now he's marrying me instead
ariel: idk he's had a hard life. he almost drowned
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feel like it's so important to develop a taste for being humbled. like taking it as a reprieve from your ego instead of a blow to it
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I think even moreso than being shocked by the prospect of tenants defaulting on rent, landlords are shocked by the prospect that if their tenants default on the rent, they could be morally or legally compelled to shelter them anyway. they're shocked by the backflow of entitlement
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wait do people understand I'm talking about walking, not cycling?? I worry people think I'm a cyclist now. not being a cyclist is an important part of my identity
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I am mentally counting the whole pandemic as 1 year. I don't care how long it goes on for, it's 1 year. it's just a longer year, which is fine. years have no defined length. years are just containers
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the passive, submissive state I slip into when I'm a cozy passenger taking public transit on a cold winter day is just unparalleled. probably what it's like to be a baby in a stroller
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my point is not that I'm hardcore or harder-working because I'm a pedestrian. my point is that I'm pitiful. perambulating around only as fast as my frail little flesh sac can go (not fast). buffeted by the winds. burnt by the sun. why you honk
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there's a real cognitive discrepancy in thinking tenants can and should somehow be compelled to cover your mortgage payments, irrespective of their material realities. like morality aside — surely you can see that the food chain only works if your prey are also fed?
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a couple months ago, a fellow millennial colleague and I tried to explain the 'whimsy' fad of the early 2000s to our gen Z colleague. we were like, you don't understand how bad it was. we participated in public pillow fights — we did graffiti that said 'you are beautiful' —
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the problem with straight women calling their bfs 'partner' isn't that the women aren't gay. it's that the men aren't partners
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it feels insane to have to assert that people can't afford what they can't afford, but landlord logic is that while a landlord's "can't" (can't afford my mortgage without rental income) is immutable, a tenant's "can't" (can't afford rent without a job) can be willed into a "can"
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mainstream porn reminds me of when a sock's elastic loses its elasticity or when a bike chain slips off. there is simply no tension or momentum at all, it slumps. it's ironically the most anti-climactic genre in the world - one with no ascent to begin with
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canada is that frat boy who seems decent bc he's quieter than the other frat boys but really it just means he's the one who holds the camera
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if you're engaging with an israel sympathizer, something that can be generative is telling them about Breaking the Silence (
@btsisrael
) – an israeli org sharing the testimonies of over 1000 IDF soldiers blowing the whistle on the occupation and how israel treats palestinians
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script for instantly motivating people to pay your invoice if they've been jerking you around via email. RT to save a freelancer
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privilege isn't the absence of problems but the presence of solutions. with extreme marginalization, solutions simply evaporate. that absence isn't just materially bad, it's also psychologically bad. it takes a massive toll on people when they can't find any foothold for optimism
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this, companies want to 'skip the bottom of maslow's pyramid.' because it's cheaper to suck out all your labor and puff up your spirit with self-actualization scented febreze than take a profit cut for your basic physical, mental and material wellbeing
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some of you are bringing up a 'similar' reddit solve involving bedbugs. for the record, that one was neither similar nor a solve — the bedbugs were likely a separate problem from whatever else was happening to her, her 'paranoia' may have been founded, and it's not a good story
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one thing I think you don't fully realize until your 30s is that your perspective on your past will continue to evolve over time, and in fact never stop evolving. no narrative is ever finalized, no matter how sure and settled it may feel in the moment
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my issue isn't companies having vibes. my issue is companies trying to pay you in vibes instead of proper pay and working conditions
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when a straight girl says prince eric is her favourite disney prince
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for anyone outside the paywall re: how to help homeless:
- dollarama's 50% wool work socks (all sizes) > sweat socks
- refillable/thermal bottles > disposable water bottles
- 4x6 tarps > useless mylar blankets
- a cheap 3-4 man tent is a life-saving gift
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for one thing, there's the idea that small towns have idiosyncratic, salt-of-the-earth cultures. I can tell you they do not. the culture of most small towns is generic and suburban (or suburban-aspiring). like, driving 50km for the suburban prestige of going to a starbucks
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I think a lot about the idea that allies need to be grounded. like, spiritually steady and chill instead of pursuing — consciously or otherwise — approval, attention, authority, absolution, a sense of moral superiority, an outlet for aggression, a source of self-worth, etc
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I think this landlord (who is commenting unironically about a prospective rent strike) expresses the underlying crux of this mentality perfectly: landlords shouldn't be 'screwed equally'. if renters are screwed, it's only 'fair' if landlords somehow get to be less screwed.
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my theory is that night water tastes better because your palate has had a longer respite from the tyranny of Flavor and can therefore pick up on water's subtle sweetness
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this is the most dramatic video of candle ice I've ever seen. if I didn't know it was candle ice I'd think it was cgi
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I'm sorry but jameela jamil is 'queer' like I'm 'intermediate in microsoft excel'
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in lieu of calling straight men 'partner' I propose something more reflective of the heterosexual condition. like 'project' or 'investment' or 'mommy's little man'
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flipping open a flip phone was so galvanizing. nothing amped me up for some phone use like flipping one open. and nothing punctuated the end of phone use like snapping it shut. it had the short declarative rhythm of an aaron sorkin walk and talk
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I realize I'm basically circling around
@nanpansky
's observation — people can debate the morality of a rent strike all they want, but for many renters it isn't a choice, it's an outcome. if people can't make rent, the outcome is that they won't make rent.
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@erikbowitz
what I'm pointing out is that while black canadians & indigenous people continue to suffer the effects of disproportionate, race-based criminalization for pot use that's now legal, non-black people are not only profiting but decorating dispensaries as iconic sites of segregation
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I feel like realizing and accepting that you suck at something — or are just 'okay' at something and don't have a lot to offer — is an important type of wisdom that we sometimes smother in our efforts to buck others (or ourselves) up
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my issue isn't companies having values, either. my issue is companies demanding you embody their values instead of embodying your actual body, which needs rest and space and an apartment and a dentist. my issue is companies who have values for everything except workers' rights.
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there's also an idea that small town people are happier, but I find them just as likely to be sad/unfulfilled – just in a more stifled, isolated way. and what happiness they have hangs entirely and precariously on the nuclear family unit, which small towns are structured around
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to be clear, what landlords are really protesting isn't your potential inability to pay rent — it's their potential inability to evict you. landlords are indignant because they thought they'd get all the perks of investing in a vital resource and none of the moral imperatives
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'your feelings are always valid' never made sense to me; it seems obvious that feelings are often invalid – misdirected, misleading, out of touch, out of proportion. I think what's truer is that every feeling has an origin story, even if its final manifestation is bonkers
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like let's be real - the reason you have a hard time "remembering" her pronoun is because you don't really think of her as a her. if you practiced thinking of her as a her, her pronoun would just come. and then you wouldn't be privately betraying her in your head all the time.
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I'm all for activist communities, queer communities etc, but communities are few and far between. what we have more of are scenes. two signs that it's a scene: it doesn't have multiple generations (children, elders) and the members all have a suspiciously similar aesthetic
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there's also the idea that small town people are nicer – but I find that small town niceness is often a) predicated on hitting a high threshold of homogeneity, in which "others" are considerably outnumbered and b) detached from political solidarity/support
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I think that fad feels shameful to me because it's a confluence of things I don't believe in anymore — pushing intimacy instead of letting it grow at its own pace, performing community/connectivity instead of building it, seeing boundaries as obstructive instead of protective etc
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I would not have guessed this as a manufacturing process in 1 million years
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this is basic but it irritates me that so many straight people now think coming out is some precious, innate rite of passage instead of a bullshit, coercive process that *their* culture and *their* assumptions and *their* passivity continues to make us go through
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my central issue with vegan cuisine is that it uses ingredients with limited range as though they have infinite range. like you've got these poor cashews feeding the kids, cleaning the house, cooking dinner AND working a full time job. they're just cashews. it's cruel
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there's a huge disconnect between this 'fuck anyone who doesn't pay you for your labor' posturing and the reality that many people, including and especially poor people, purposely contribute to projects and communities that can't afford to pay them because the work is meaningful
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I feel like linkedin is ripe for colonizing. like 50,000 of us go over there and start using it like it's livejournal
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not to be 'just girly things' but I love when a group of women run down a sidewalk or street at night screaming in a giggling way, as though the act of rushing somewhere is just that thrilling. I love seeing it and I love doing it
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instagram and pinterest have had such an intense homogenizing effect on people's aesthetic sensibilities they lowkey scare me. like not only have they channeled most people into one type of aesthetic but they've channeled most people into one type of *relationship* to aesthetics
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your precious iphone powers off in the cold while my samsung bursts heroically into flames to keep me warm, who's laughing now
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if you haven't watched disney's 101 dalmatians as an adult — the 1961 version — I recommend watching it, just for how stunning it is. every still is like a painting
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I feel like one of the defining features of heterosexual squalor is that instead of the man and woman meeting each other halfway, the man stays put and the woman goes the whole way to meet him and they both think that's halfway
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boys, boys.... the problem I'm referring to isn't 'monogamy' or 'marriage'.... the problem is the many humiliations women suffer in straight relationships at men's hands, of which being sidelined for a woman the man wields more power over is merely one
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yes, investigations show black and indigenous people were more likely to be criminalized for pot possession than whites. yes, as of 3 months ago, only 44 canadians (out of ~250,000 canadians with pot possession on their criminal record) have been pardoned.
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I've been using a backlog of vacation days to buy myself the 4-day work week and I'm humiliated to report that in addition to the obvious lifestyle benefits, I'm enjoying my job more. it feels less like a stupid, senseless grind and more like a stupid, senseless hobby
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and of course, for all the ways that small town people can be nice, the prevailing culture is often small-minded, incurious, bigoted, etc
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I don't want to be unfair to small towns; there are aspects of them I love. the silence, the access to solitude, the close negotiation with nature (always trying to retake its territory), the people who loved me or took care of me. but at the same time, bone-deep alienation
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I wish I had long hair only so I could keep it tightly pinned up all the time to symbolize my invulnerability and then let it 'accidentally' tumble down in intimate waves about my shoulders when I've surrendered my inhibitions / class standing, stunning my suitor (who is also me)
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