Matt Novak
@paleofuture
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Tech reporter at Gizmodo. Founder of , a website about the history of the future.
San Diego
Joined October 2008
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Pinned Tweet
I wrote about the summer intern who ate his lunch off a nuclear bomb in 1955
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A billionaire losing a “do you like me” poll on a service he paid $44 billion for is just an objectively funny way for this whole thing to end
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"May the shadow of the moon fall on a world at peace." ABC News report from February 26, 1979 about the world of August 21, 2017
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If you invested $100 in Luna one month ago, the fourth most popular cryptocurrency at the time, you now have $0.04.
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This video make so much more sense now. The cops literally stopped parents from helping their kids.
Cops stood outside the school while the killer rampaged inside.
Onlookers yelled at them to go in. They didn’t. One parent urged bystanders:
“Let’s just rush in because the cops aren’t doing anything like they are supposed to.”
@AP
story:
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Elon Musk shouting "I'm rich, bitch," while the sound people at Chappelle's show honk a horn to drown out the boos from the crowd is one of the saddest videos I've ever seen.
Elon Musk Gets Viciously Booed by Stadium Crowd at Dave Chappelle Show
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You’re never gonna believe how old the document we judge all our laws against is bro
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John Lennon, who was famously safe in New York City
Brian Kilmeade tries to dunk on Bill de Blasio's "Imagine" reference by saying that "John Lennon wouldn't be safe in this city right now."
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Not only did cops with long guns have their tasers out, ready to stop parents from saving their own children, it looks like the cops have one parent pinned to the ground.
You can hear one person yell, "what the fuck are you doing to him? Let him up!"
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Issuing a correction on a previous tweet of mine. Iceland’s Person of the Year, who I happen to employ, is not, as it turns out, “a worthless sack of shit who never did a full day’s work in his meaningless life”
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I don't know how you can watch hundreds of people evacuating a mall with their hands up and convince yourself this is freedom.
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Definitely the best take on that holy shit article about Trump today
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CNN is blurring the faces of secret police and not the faces of the people they’re kidnapping. What the fuck
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At least one additional kid died directly because the cops were incompetent.
“When the cops came, the cop said: 'Yell if you need help!' And one of the persons in my class said 'help.' The [shooter] overheard and he came in and shot her," the boy said.
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It's literally on the Statue of Liberty you fucking dunderhead.
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Report of a teacher who seems to think running portions of a student’s essay through ChatGPT will allow ChatGPT to tell them if the AI wrote the paper. ChatGPT lies and will just give you an answer that may not be true!
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*travels to 1946*
me: congrats on crushing those nazis!
him: thanks! what's 2016 like?
me: well
him: i bet it has like zero nazis
me: well
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ICE is rounding up legal permanent residents for misdemeanors committed 20 years ago. Remember that “deportation force” everybody was worried about? It’s here.
California woman ‘in shock’ after ICE agents detain father, a legal resident, outside home
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Apparently all the videos of Elon Musk getting booed at Dave Chappelle's show got deleted from Twitter for some mysterious reason.
But I saved them all because I try to be helpful. They should be in the article again.
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I follow a conspiracy theory Reddit that’s claiming the Patriot Front march yesterday in DC was a false flag because they look like military and cops and they’re so close to getting it
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This is the Gen X/Millennial version of how white boomers think the 1950s/60s was a harmonious time for America. You were a kid. You didn’t know what was going on but you bought the version being sold to you because, again, you were a kid.
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Musk blocked me on Twitter in 2019 and it wasn't even something I said on this platform. I made fun of his driving the Cybertruck (he ran over a pylon in L.A.) at Gizmodo and he had to search me out on here to block me. He's definitely reading everything you tweet at him.
The fun thing about posting mean jokes about Elon Musk on Twitter is you know there's a startlingly huge chance he is actually going to read it and it will hurt his feelings.
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I'm no expert on torture, but I have to imagine that I'd remember the faces of the people who tortured me, especially if they went on to become nationally known figures
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This is the crux of Trumpism that most Americans still don’t recognize. The stereotypical Trump voter is a working class redneck. But his real base of support is white upper middle class boomers who watch Fox News. It’s always been them.
American fascism is gonna look like your grandma.
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This man is considered an intellectual powerhouse on the right
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And there it goes. Luna is officially worth less than a penny.
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In the old days I would've assumed this was a joke. But thanks to Elon's checkmark system, I can safely say it's in earnest.
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Every cop in this video could be a hero tonight. Just write a little note and then do what needs to be done. Be a hero for once. You should really do it this time. If you’re a cop and reading this, I believe in you. Do it. It’s your one opportunity at redemption.
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This is a really weird thing to call for when the shooter is 67 years old.
In response to the Half Moon Bay shooting, President Biden called on Congress to raise the minimum purchase age for assault weapons to 21.
“The scourge of gun violence across America requires stronger action,” Biden said.
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There’s an extremely loud 30% of the country that’s pro-Trump, anti-choice, and anti-trans. They’ve convinced a lot of people they’re half the country but they’re not. They’re 30%.
Once again, the anti-trans shit is not working for GOP at all. Which is why it's even more disgusting that various centrists urged retreat on issue.
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CNN’s decision to blur the faces of secret police who were just picking people off the street in the summer of 2020 was that moment for me. We’re so unprepared for how bad it’s going to get.
The AP is one of those institutions in American life that makes it easy to believe that we could slide into genuine dystopian autocracy. You can just hear the circumspection and euphemism they're ready to obediently deploy. Increasingly it doesn't take much imagination.
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You know what Tokyo needs? A tunnel that’s exactly one car wide.
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Also, “better to talk to people than communicate via tweet” is a hilarious indictment of the website you spent $44 billion on
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He still doesn't understand how draining the site of all the useful accounts will just make normal people stop using it
New York City’s mass-transit system is ending its real-time service alerts on Twitter after Elon Musk's company asked the MTA to pay $50,000 a month
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Say what you will about Elon Musk’s Twitter feed, but it’s done more in a few short years to dispel the myth of American meritocracy than just about anything in the past century.
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The full video is over 6 minutes long:
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Tired: Students getting ChatGPT to write papers.
Wired: Teachers getting ChatGPT to accuse innocent students of plagiarism.
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Other people have already done this, but I’d love to see your favorite funny tweets of all time. I’ll start.
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Imagine arresting people at a hospital during a pandemic. ICE is a terrorist organization.
Image of ICE officers arresting my client at the hospital
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I'll admit, I am extremely triggered by Elon getting booed by thousands of people. He got me. Just a brilliant maneuver on his part
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They literally did. In fact, two lawmakers were expelled from the Tennessee legislature over the protests. It was on the news and everything.
@wrong_speak
Why didn’t they protest when the children were murdered at the Christian school?
They are disingenuous.
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Trump just shared a fake AI-created image of himself praying on Truth Social
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DHS Secretary Chad Wolf claims the mortality rate for coronavirus is similar to the flu, both at about 2%. Senator Kennedy says "are you sure of that?" and the secretary doubles down.
The mortality rate for seasonal flu is closer to 0.1%:
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It's surreal to watch financial news talk about regular people having money to spend and job security as a negative thing. If you ever needed convincing that the health of "the economy" is a conspiracy against working people, watch this clip from CNBC that just aired.
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One thing I heard in this video only after several viewings was a cop saying "we're taking care of it" and a parent yell back "bullshit, he ain't dead yet!" It makes me wonder how they knew from the parking lot. The Washington Post reports gunfire could still be heard at 12:52 pm
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Precisely zero people in the world were predicting that it was the United States, guys
Welcome to the happiest country on Earth (and no it's NOT the United States)
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Imagine getting so scared at a magic show you think you’re watching devil worship
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Cops will only do their job when the public stops criticizing them for murdering unarmed people.
I'm not defending the actions of the officers. But we've demonized law enforcement to the point that there are far fewer rewards for being a hero, for taking risks. When your culture makes George Floyd the hero, real heroes stand down. Cultural rot has consequences.
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Ironically, the reason my account is still up probably has something to do with Musk blocking me on Twitter in 2019.
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Imagine thinking the solution is “more cops” after all the videos we’ve seen showing dozens of cops doing nothing but harass parents at the scene.
Democrats are already rejecting calls for more security and single entry points for schools (refusing to concede single points of entry with multiple exits is possible). They only want gun control, which won't pass the Senate. That means they want the issue, not a solution.
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The subreddit for Target employees has been really informative during this whole shitstorm
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isn't it weird that we DRIVE on a PARKway and PARK on a DRIVEway and LIVE in a NIGHTMARISH DYSTOPIA WE WILL NEVER ESCAPE
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"In New York state, the person who tested positive was only the 32nd test we've done in this state. That is a national scandal. They're testing 10,000 a day in some countries." - ER Dr. Matt McCarthy
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Even Musk skeptics seem to think his poll was a clever ploy to appoint someone new, but I promise you he never expected to lose. Whatever his plans, he never thought a majority of people on some dumb Twitter poll would say he should step down. It's absolutely crushing to his ego.
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Lots of people online are wondering why
@JoelOsteen
hasn't opened his 16,000 seat megachurch in Houston to people.
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Luna went from the fourth most popular coin in the world on Monday to getting pulled from the biggest exchange in the world on Thursday.
As mentioned previously, Binance Futures will conduct an automatic settlement on the $LUNA USDT-Margined Contract and then delist the Futures contract at May 12, 2022 3:30pm UTC.
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@MFriedmanNOLA
Kind of. But imagine instead of a stock for a company that actually tried to deliver a product or service to people, it was a stock without any product or service
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This photo of Trump heading to Davos should be his new official portrait
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Which brings us to the question of when this video was shot exactly. There's another angle on Facebook from across the street where you see the cops finally let the parent on the ground get up. That video is time stamped and puts the beginning of the top clip at around 12:54 pm
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Photos of Trump's meeting with Lavrov and Kislyak just hit the Getty wire and they're all credited to Russian news agency TASS
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@newtgingrich
Newt Gingrich, Feb 27: "The city of San Francisco, in its usual irresponsible way, has already declared an emergency..."
Newt Gingrich, today: "Faced with a pandemic threat, history teaches us it is far better to be over prepared than underprepared."
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It’s hard to say definitively based on the sound from the video but the parents clearly believe they’re hearing gunfire. They’re saying as much and panicking.
@paleofuture
You can hear the gunfire start up when the parents start screaming. It’s so rapid I thought it was wind at first. But it’s not.
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GoodRX recently settled with the FTC because it was selling information about the drugs you were using. Presumably that explains the price difference. We live in a waking nightmare.
yesterday i went to pick up a prescription at walgreens and they said it’d be $130 *with* insurance, so i pulled up a coupon from GoodRx and paid…$6.50.
why is that extra step necessary? if i’m insured, why do you i need a random-ass website to get involved? wtf is this system
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I hadn't thought of this and it's a great point. Musk recently said he's at risk of assassination over "The Twitter Files." Definitely looks like a guy afraid for his life.
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1) Too many people have jobs so the Fed raises rates to boost unemployment in the name of taming inflation. 2) People lose their jobs, making them need food stamps. 3) Politicians demand those same people get jobs to be eligible for food stamps, but the jobs are now harder to get
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While I’ve always been a crypto skeptic, I have sympathy for regular people who lost money this week. For one thing, gambling is fun and addictive. And with boomers hoarding all the wealth it’s easy to understand why people tried to gamble their way to some financial security.
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@JoelOsteen
Gallery Furniture just down the street for Osteen's church opened the doors to its warehouse for use as a shelter
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I mean, that's why I love writing for Gizmodo. We get to put it bluntly.
Gizmodo going in hard on the "I was never going to work for the New York Times anyway" beat.
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A literal Nazi saying that Italy is "90% white" is the perfect illustration of race as a social construct. A century ago, precisely zero American xenophobes would've considered Italians white.
Okay... But America is in a far worse place demographically than Europe. Italy is 90% White, more or less. I wish we had Europe's problems!
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It’s possible but I wouldn’t think very highly of a teacher who was either lying to me or didn’t understand the basics of this tech they were supposedly using
@paleofuture
Seems possible that the teacher does not actually think this is true, but tells this to students to discourage them from using Chat GPT.
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In case you needed more evidence that Musk really wanted to win that poll
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We still don’t even know when the shooter died. It’s all so bizarre.
BREAKING: Authorities now confirm they are examining the response of police in Uvalde in the shooting of 19 children amid conflicting witness statements, including what steps they took to stop the gunman. Part of the review will include a timeline based on radio traffic. (1/3)
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I had no idea what Melania's dad looked like until now and um...
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It's wild that Americans came out of a pandemic without guaranteed paid sick leave.
Sick Workers Tied to 40% of Food Poisoning Outbreaks, C.D.C. Says
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This story from the Miami Herald, one of the few papers that has reported consistently and extensively on Gitmo, mentions five former prisoners who recognized DeSantis, and one, Mansoor Adayfi, who says DeSantis was in the room as he was being tortured.
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I looked into the photos Trump is using in his latest Facebook ad campaign. They're from Trump's time in office.
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Elon Musk stole at least four jokes on Twitter yesterday, so I wrote about how it's a pattern for the billionaire
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The owner of this site agreeing with a verified and fake Louis CK account spewing anti-trans bullshit really sums up Twitter right now
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this baby is a loser. our babies don't know how to win anymore. someone take this loser baby
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This looting is getting out of control.
NEW from me: Marc Short, the Vice President's chief of staff, holds as much as $1.64 million in individual stocks for companies doing work related to the Trump administration's pandemic response.
His holdings could run afoul of conflict of interest laws.
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Here's a clip from today's hearing where the Twitter exec explains why sharing child sexual abuse material isn't an automatic ban. And then an Australian senator explains why that's idiotic.
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When your website is doing fine and firing all the engineers was a smart business move
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I don't know anything about modern wrestling, but a stadium full of Americans cheering for trans rights is a great reminder that most people oppose the bigotry that's on Fox News every day.
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ME: *just quotes elon musk verbatim at length*
ELON MUSK FANS:
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For every asshole who keeps saying “it’s not technically fascism yet,” the president just endorsed deporting people “with no judges or court cases.”
We cannot allow all of these people to invade our Country. When somebody comes in, we must immediately, with no Judges or Court Cases, bring them back from where they came. Our system is a mockery to good immigration policy and Law and Order. Most children come without parents...
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The lesson? Threats of violence are the fastest way to get whatever you want. We're going down a very dark path.
BREAKING: Full statement from Target announcing changes to Pride merchandise from stores ahead of June Pride month. Says threats to workers forced the change.
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"ELON CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS HE OWNS THE SITE"
No one is disputing that. It's just funny that Musk, as one of the wealthiest people on the planet, can literally do whatever he wants and keeps doing the dumbest shit possible
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